Category: Friday Fives

1. When you hear the word “Dandelion” what comes to mind? Yellow weedish flower in a lawn or the grey, snowlike puffball, perched to explode into the air?
I think of the puffy one – and see a field full of them. I guess it is the influence of Bloom County.

2. Any New Year’s resolutions? Do you keep resolutions or routinely break them like a child’s Christmas toy the day after the holiday?
Same as every year, exercise more, eat less, get in shape. And focus on the guitar, a resolution from a few years back that I broke and am trying to put back together (the resolution, not the guitar.)

3. Do you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. How do you cope with all the darkness and cabin fever?
This year I have really noticed all the darkness. It is so dark when I go to work (6:30 a.m.) and is starting to get dark when I am driving home – it is unsettling.

4. Merle Haggard asks the question: “Are the good times really over for good?”
I am a pretty Pollyanna. Ed tells me that my favorite book should be Candide. I can’t really believe the good times are really over for good.

5. You’ve rented a sky-writer to propose to your significant other, but it’s completely overcast. What will you do? (thank you, Blogger.)
I would probably realize that using a sky writer to propose is lame and would instead do something quiet and intimate and hopefully tie it all together as a reminder of our first date.

1. It’s Christmas Eve: What is the holiday tradition in your home? Big meal today or tomorrow? With family ? Go to church? Open presents or wait for Christmas day?
As a kid, each year we would load up the presents and head to Grand Junction to go to grandma’s house. Recently – the past three years – Christmas has been kind of a catch-as-catch can – shared with friends and a good meal. It is Christmas Eve and I still have no real idea what I am doing for Christmas this year. We used to always go to Christmas Eve services and then come home and open up our presents.

2. I still remember many Christmas’ as a kid. What was your favorite? Did involve a special present (toy) What was it?
Favorite Christmas? Not really – they all seemed to merge into one big happy childhood memory. There was a year when it seemed my parents went crazy with toys – action figures galore and some tools all under the tree. I found the presents in mom’s closet and unwrapped them and played with them a little bit everyday after school. I thought I was so cool. Then one day I came home and mom scolded me after discovering my poor rewrapping job. She threatened to take away the toys. Looking back, I probably ruined Christmas for her because of my youthful selfish greed.

3. What are some of your favorite winter/cold weather activities and/or sports?
Sledding is still fun. Heading down a big snow hill on an innertube or a toboggan. We haven’t had any real snow the last few years so I haven’t been for quite some time.

4. What type of winter coat do you have? Is it your favorite or was there another? Gloves or mitten? Hat or ear muffs? Scarves or face
mask?
I had this cool black wool coat that I bought in Germany that I eventually gave away for some reason and I miss that coat. It was kind of like a Navy pea coat but a bit heavier and with fancy snapping closures. I am a glove guy and have to have them. I was frostbitten once and ever since I need to keep my precious fingers toasty warm or I am miserable.

5. Would you ever sleep in an igloo or one of those Canadian Ice Hotel thingies?
I would love to – thanks. When do we leave? I would love to travel to the North or South pole and see all the glaciers and the majestic barren whiteness.

1. You are trapped in the car on the traditional family holiday road trip. What five things must accompany you on the trip for survival? (Snacks, games, diversions, comfort all come into play.)
1. Springsteen tunes – Hell, all his songs are road trip music.
2. Beef Jerky. Preferably secured from a road side stand by some retiree who makes it himself. That is powerful medicine.
3. Red Vines. I like candy.
4. A good solid pillow
5. A magazine of word puzzles to occupy my mind and make time fly by a bit faster.

2. Along the same lines: If you could take a road trip to anywhere do you just hop in the car and go or lots of tedious, meticulous follow-the-time-table planning? Where does it take you?
I am generally a by-the-seat-of-my pants kind of guy. One quick two-second glance at the map and then we are off and hope for the best. I have been hankering for years to take a long road trip to Branson, Missouri – just for the shear eye shock that the place promises. We should pack up the whole gang and head out on the road.

3. Barring the use of plane, car, train or boat – what would be your favorite mode of transport for your ideal road trip (real places aren’t necessarily in order for this answer – be creative.)
Conveyance: Either a flying carpet or flying jet pack. I think a trip to Casablanca in 1940 – with dinner and dancing at Ricks would be a good trip. As would a trip on the Battlestar Gallactica to the ends of the universe. (I am such a geek but man, I loved that show!)

4. Did you ever play any travel games when you were a kid, such as “the license plate game” or “20 questions”? If you had to entertain Reid on a car trip, how would you keep him from getting bored/antsy during long trips? (If you don’t know Reid, insert anyone else, then call me and we will have you meet Reid. He is starting to do well in small groups.)
We used to play the roadside sign alphabet game all the time as kids on the road to Hayden from Craig to see Grandma. Once older, we had official road trip bingo games to occupy us on the trips. For Reid, I suggest porn. It always works and always has.

5. New mini topic: This is the start of the holiday weekend celebrations. What is your winter drink? (Booze and soda is hardly considered a special holiday drink.) I mean something fun and special. How is your signature beverage concocted?
For the winter holidays, I prefer a Gin Martini. 7 parts Bombay Blue Saphire Gin to one part Dry Vermouth. Shaken in a nice shaker and served into chilled cocktail glasses that have been rinsed with Vermouth. Served with a couple of cocktail onions.

Friday Fives

1. The world ends tomorrow and only you can save it – by appearing as a contestant on a Reality TV show. Which show would you pick. Why?(No, none, neither is not an acceptable answer.
I would like to think I could save the world be appearing on “Last Comic Standing,” but I don’t have 15 minutes of really strong stand up material, so the world would crumble. As a show that I think it would be fun to be on, maybe the Amazing Race?

2. Armed only with a used deodorant dispenser, a hammer and some wood screws, and a hanky, craft a Charming Christmas present for Granny.
I remember in first or second grade once I made a golden Christmas tree out of a card board tube and some dried macaroni – painted gold with spray paint. I did eventually give it to grandma. On further review it was quite an ugly craft and her acceptance of said garbage was a demonstration of pure love.

3. In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming? (haha, thanks Blogger.com)
I don’t do well naked in crowds. I have dreams about this, terrorized at the thought of being before a group of people naked – and the taunting soon begins. What is with this world and its fascination with fashion? Maybe the cave people were right to wear only a few animal skins and carry clubs. Although that would take the fun out of Ed’s shopping experiences. The boy loves his sweaters and an all naked society would put a damper on that.

4. Name the top five reasons you still believe in Santa Clause.
1. I believe in the low cost bribe that cookies and milk can achieve.
2. I believe that homes are safer if a fat hairy man can slide down your chimney – fire prevention is no joke.
3. I believe that a well equipped toy-centric society based in the North Pole is the absolute goal of any Utopia.
4. Santa exists because my momma says its so.
5. My father, GW, never had a Santa suit in his closet, verified after searching for Christmas presents on several occasions as a boy – ergo Santa must be the one doing the delivering. This is pure, scientific deductive reasoning and can’t be challenged.

5. Your 15-year-old self runs into you today. What would his/her reaction to your adult-ized fashion be?
“Wow, look at that gut! Dude, you need to step back from the keg and the caramels!” I think that guy would be a little disappointed that I am just another working drone milling away in a cubicle in an office park instead of a famous, artistic savant that I was convinced I was supposed to be.

1. Do you enjoy letter writing [as in snail mail]? When’s the last time that you wrote someone a letter or a note? When’s the last time that you received something in the mail from someone [not including regular stuff like bills, junk mail, etc.]?
I recently got a letter from a co worker who left our company to go into the Army. He wrote from basic training. It was a very nice thing and I have been and absolute boob and bore and not answered his letter. I will write him back this weekend. I love getting letters in the mail but there is a problem – you have to write letters to get letters and I am not a very consistent letter writer.

2. Do you plan to send out holiday cards this year? Why/why not?
Do you spend a lot of time on them? About how many holiday cards do you usually send each year?
A few years ago I send cards out regularly, accompanied by a long annotated Christmas letter. But I got out of the habit during my Dad’s illness and haven’t dipped my toes back in the water. I keep telling myself the blog kind of makes up for my Christmas letter, however a lot of the folks I sent Holiday cards to don’t read this thing, so I am living in a fantasy world.

3. Have you ever had a penpal? Where and when? How long did you write to them, or are you still in contact with them? What kinds of things did/do you talk about with them? How did your penpal relationship come about?
I remember one summer as a boy when my mom tried to get me to write to a pen pal. In retrospect, I think it was all a plot by teachers to keep me writing all summer long so as to aid my dismal handwriting. They were probably right (write?}) but I never followed through with it.

4. Do you feel that you have good penmanship? Did you ever have to take a handwriting class in school? Do you prefer typing letters or writing them by hand? Have you ever had your handwriting analyzed?
Are you kidding me? My handwriting is atrocious. It has a shelf life of about 18 hours, after which point even I can’t read it. At one point in school my handwriting was deemed so unworthy that I had to take special education classes and have special tutoring for about an hour a day. That will really mess with your self esteem – to go from the advanced reading classes to the the remedial handwriting classes and dyslexic kids classes in the same day. I prefer to type everything. See above answer on handwriting.

5. If you could receive a personal, hand-written letter from anyone in the world right now, who would you choose and why? Why would you want a letter from him/her?
I think Dave Eggers would write great letters. He would be a great pen pal.

Friday Fives

– the post holiday delayed edition

1. Have you ever bought and/or sold items through an online auction (for example, eBay, Yahoo! Auctions, etc.)? Do you remember the first item that you ever purchased through an online auction (or at an online store)? Do you plan to shop online for the upcoming holiday season?
The first thing I ever bought on ebay was a video tape on how to play the banjo. Since then I have bought my sister some Goofy collectibles, a stereo, my digital camera, my cdr/rw player for my computer, a set of pots and pans, a vacume food sealer and the list goes on and on. I have a few gifts that I will be buying on line this year

2. What is your shopping style?
Head straight for a specific store and pick up the item that you’re looking for
Browse through everything and then narrow down your choices from there?
Do you enjoy shopping?
I am a haphazard browser. I don’t go aisle by aisle and instead tend to wander and meander. I don’t really like shopping and have to be in a very certain mood.

3. Is there someone in your life who is particularly difficult to buy gifts for? What do you usually end up getting him/her? Why are they so hard to buy gifts for?
The Rev Ed followed by Reid then probably my sister. Go figure. All of them have eclectic tastes and interests and generally those interests are all across the board. This year I am buying each of them a shiny new liver.

4. Do you prefer to shop at big-name department stores, small family-owned gift shops, or somewhere in-between? Do you tend to patronize local stores as opposed to store chains? Why?
Thrift stores and consignment shops is where it’s at baby! I make a salary of about $4,800 or so dollars a year and so I have to stretch the budget. This year, everyone is getting shiny tin foil hats to welcome in the second term of GW Bush.

5. When’s the last time that you bought something for yourself to enjoy? What was it, and when did you buy it? Do you reward yourself with gifts every so often? Why/why not?
I tend to buy for Roy quite often. He likes books and music and gets a lot of it from his benefector, R-Dub.

Friday Fives

1. What would you absolutely *love* to do, if only you weren’t terribly afraid of doing it?
Riding a motorcycle. I love everything about motorcycles. They way they look, the sound, the freedom of moving on down the highway. I love everything about them except for the part where they kill people. Once they solve that part, I will be a motorcycle riding fool.

2. What’s the sexiest piece of clothing that you own? [Let’s exclude lingerie.] How do you feel when you put it on? Where do you usually wear this clothing?
My diamond studded, sequined thong. I wear it to work on interview days so that inside, I can feel pretty.

3. Do you remember the very first time that you used the Internet and/or e-mail? What was that experience like?
Yup. It was in 1990 at the Gunnison Country Times and we had a freelance stringer, Emerson, who was a real early internet embracer. He let me use his AOL account for a day or so to see what it was like. In 1990, AOL was still a young child and the internet wasn’t close to what we have now. Microsoft Internet Explorer hadn’t even been developed yet and everyone was trying to surf using some new fangled browser technology by Netscape or something. Maybe it was even as old as the original Mosaic. Looking back, it was like playing an old Atari video game. Fun at the time but hardly worth my time today.

4. What words in the English language do you think are completely overused? Do you find yourself saying any of them? If you could ban particular words from the English language, would you? Why? What words would you choose?
Overused/misused: Irony and ironic. It is not ironic anymore when everything is ironic. Words to ban: Orientate (the simple word orient will work fine.) I also hate forced contractions, like ‘scripts for medical prescriptions and ‘stats for statistics. It lessens the language and makes us lazy.

5. It’s cold and flu season, unfortunately. What things have always helped you feel better when you’re under the weather? What remedies do you remember being given when you were a child?
Zycam, zycam, zycam. Orange juice and lots and lots (I am talking doses of 7 or 8 grams) of vitamin C. And BAM, the cold will up and leave, making you a conqueror. Mom was a big applier of Vicks Vaporub, a vile smelling mess that mucked up my pajamas and sheets. And she also was big on the power dose of Chloraseptic and Dristan.

Friday Fives

1. Who is the most overrated actor/actress/celebrity in showbiz? Presently? Past? Four years ago?
Paris Hilton. Pauly Shore. Dennis Miller.

2. At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass?
Improper use of turn signals will result in an ass kicking. Applying make up while in the car will result in ass kicking. Eating other people’s food out of the break room refrigerator will result in ass kicking. Smoking will result in ass kicking.

3. Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less.
Casablanca is about making the choice of love and country or self preservation.

4. What’s the most inappropriate theme/reason to hold a party? Send a card. Buy a present?
Party: The destruction of Palestine? Card: Hey, congrats, you have cancer. Present: You’ve lost your house and family in a cataclysmic hurricaine. Here is a housewarming gift- a blender.

5. Provide a link to The MOST boring website you can find. Mind numbing, poke your eyes out boring is what we are looking for here. Bad design helps, certainly, but content of the most dull order will be the goal.
Well, my first inclination was this but is a lame cop out. There is always this doozy, but it seems for formulaic and intentional (and actually funny and kind of hypnotic.) Then I immediately remembered Zombo which is dull in a room-full of clows sort of way. Eventually, however, I settled with this. A thoughtful, deliberate and erudite discussion of geophysics. Not for the laymen, I suppose.

Friday Fives

1. Are you a spontaneous person, a planner, or somewhere in-between? Have you ever gone on a spur-of-the-moment road trip or vacation? When, and did you have fun?
I am generally a spontaneous person. Having my life planned out in great detail makes me nervous and anxious. That being said, I would probably be more successful in my personal and professional life if I took the time to have a more definite plan.

2. Are you a hockey fan, and what are doing in the abscence of the Avalanche? Do you watch a lot of sports on TV? What is your favorite sports watching food?
I love watching hockey and my life is a little empty without it. I gorged myself on politics for a while to stem the tide, but that’s over. I am trying to replace hockey with football, but I just don’t seem to care as much, especially for any other team besides the local favorites, The Denver Broncos. I tried to watch basketball for a bit, but I just can’t respect the basketball players. They are thugs. Soccer, golf, bowling – boring, boring and boring. For food, is snack foods all the way. Popcorn, chips and salsa and salted peanuts.

3. If someone gave you $25 right now and said that you had to spend it within the hour, what would you buy and why?
Breakfast. It’s early, its Friday and I am hungry.

4. Name three things that you’re looking forward to in the near future and why.
A promotion at work? (Nothing even close to definite in that vein.) Thanksgiving and time with the family at the ranch. The weekend and taking in some live music with friends.

5. Do you know any foreign languages? Which ones? If you could become fluent in any language [writing and speaking it], which one would you pick and why?
Nope. I lived in Germany for three years and although I got so I could understand it pretty much, I never really learned it. If I could learn one language, it would be Spanish. It is so useable, personally and professionally and would open up so many more restaurant opportunities in Denver if I could venture deep into the barrio and order “off the menu.”

Friday Fives

1. What was your first Halloween costume?
The earliest I remember is going to a church Halloween party dressed as a hobo, with a straw hat and a coffee grounds beard. I also remember some store bought costume and mask thing of a cartoon super hero but I can’t for the life of me remember who the hero was. I was probably three years old.

2. What was your best costume and why?
Barney, the dinosaur as an unfortunate hunting accident. A mask of Barney, some purple long johns with a dino tail affixed and the addition of an arrow in my midside and a gaping head wound.

3. Did you ever play a trick on someone who didn’t give you a treat?
No. But when I was 19 and 20 we used to hit the streets of Craig trick or treating for drinks. It kind of worked. We usually were laughed at and shooed away, but those that got our joke would give us a beer.

4. Do you have any Halloween traditions?
Used to. I used to always get fired up for Halloween and dress up and go to parties, up until about four years ago and then the fire went out and I don’t get to enthused for Halloween. I am becoming a grouchy old man. Save me, somebody.

5. Share your favorite scary story…real or legend!
President George Bush, 43rd President of the United States.