thisiswhatyoushalldo

1. What famous person had everything going for him but managed to fuck it all up?

Pee Wee Herman. His little trite mistake in an adult theater really took a toll on his career, and he never fully recovered.

2. Have you ever had a “Do you know who I am?” moment?

I was in a new job as an ops manager, and in hew hire training with team members would roll up to me eventually, I had to let them know that I was their boss’s boss and I would appreciate it if they were on time, awake and participating in the training.

3. To those people who “know a guy”, what do they do?

Well, in the corporate environs, you need that person who runs back-office problems, IT desktop support, and the facilities guy. Those three can make a world of difference in your in-office day-to-day problem-solving.

4. If you had to add one more roadside test to the current DUI field sobriety exercises, what would it be?

Luckily, I haven’t had to do this, and one time when I probably should have, I was able to talk myself out of it. That being said, I think a handwriting test – take down some dictation and rate it for legibility and spelling.

5. Which actor pulled off the best accent for a country they weren’t from?

Hugh Laurie – he is a Brit with the best mid-Atlantic American accent.

1. Remember the days when everything wasn’t online, and the workplace had that closet of office supplies? What is your favorite office supply still, even in this digital age?

I can’t work without Post-it notes.

2. What was supposed to be “The Next Big Thing” but completely flopped??

I remember all the hype around the original Segway scooter.

3. What formerly popular but now extinct restaurant do you wish would make a comeback??

My first guess was Casa Bonita, but its comeback is imminent. So I will go with Round The Corner, the burger joint. I fondly remember eating at the one up on the hill while attending Boulder. There were many creative burgers (think of a more expansive Red Robin menu), and each table had a telephone you used to place your order as a fun gimmick.

4. As a GenXer, what will be your ‘walked to school uphill through snow BOTH WAYS’ tale??

Dial-up internet and the internet itself was very sparse and difficult to navigate.

5. How do you start your day??

NYTimes crossword, first thing every morning – usually around 4:30 a.m. before rolling over and returning to sleep.

1. Do you drink tap water? why or why not?

Yes, I do. I use filtered water for coffee and tea, but I have no issue with Denver Water tap water. It tastes fine and has a good reputation for quality.

2. What technology or gadget was all the rage years ago, but now feels like a relic of the past?

Remember beepers that would send a phone number that you were to call back and often tied to an answering service, and for a good bit of time, that was the height of telecommunications sexiness.

3. What’s the most American food?

The cheeseburger. I have had burgers in a couple of other countries, and they can’t do it like us Yanks.

4. If you have money to live in another country, which country do you want to hang your hat on?

Uruguay looks pretty great. Liberal progressive culture – Atlantic beaches.

5. What’s the biggest mess you’ve ever made?

When I was trying to learn to cook for myself, I was making Texas beef chili and misinterpreted what was called for garlic, and instead of six of seven cloves of garlic, I put in six heads of garlic. It was basically inedible and I had to eat it as I was a broke college kid – let’s say I had no issues with head colds or flu that year as all that garlic warded it off.

1. If America runs on Dunkin’, what does ‘Murica run on?

Dark, evil spite.

2. Do you have a comfort show, and if so, what is it?

Diner, Drive Inns, and Dives. i don’t eat mammals or birds, so I live vicariously through Guy.

3. What is your city famous for without naming it?

Weed

4. What is the most “I’m an American tourist” thing you could say?

Can I get a big glass of ice water with my meal? (and then barely touch it.)

5. What would be the most absurd thing to fill a piñata with?

Jello. (not Jello shoots, just filled to the brim with Jello.