The Friday Fives

1. Do you remember the first time you heard a “curse” word?

It was my Grandpa Nall. We were out in his shop out back, tinkering, and he dropped something and screamed out, “Damn it!” I was probably four or five years old and come from a home where swearing was just not part of the vocabulary.

2. Do you remember the first time you uttered a “curse” word?

Probably on a Boy Scout outing and knowing my clumsiness while hammering in tent spikes.

3. Besides “fuck” (because that is the undisputed best curse word!), what is the best “curse” word?

You can, of course, choose any of the words from George Carlin’s Seven Words list but for pure profane cursed perfection, go with Shakespeare: “Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.” King Lear.

4. Have you ever heard your grandparents use profanity?

See above. But, in addition to the above, I saw my grandma flip the bird at another driver in rush-hour Grand Junction traffic. I seem to remember a cigarette hanging from her lips at the time as well.

5. What was the first “R” rated movie you saw without your parents?

Probably Jaws on HBO when I was about 15 or 16?

The Friday Fives

1. What is a loved band from your past you just don’t care for?

Van Halen. I know that is heresy. I listen to Classic Rewind on SiriusXM just about all day long and hear the soundtrack of my 1970s and 1980s high school days – but they play VH and then Hagar about every 45 minutes, and they are just so overplayed.

2. What is your favorite music genre?

This is a very difficult question. Maybe it is my ADHD, but I generally bounce around genres as the mood hits me. But I think old-school blues and roots rock is where I tend to land.

3. What is the best cover version of a song?

“Twist and Shout” by the Beatles, covering the Isley Brothers. (Although the Isley Brothers also a cover version, they significantly reworked it, and their version was considered the best version – at least until the Beatles.)

Also, honorable mention – Johnny Cash’s cover of Kris Kristofferson’s Sunday Mornin’ Comin’ Down.

4. What is the worst cover version of a song?

This is probably a cheat answer, but any cover version of a song from Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” is going to be inferior. Just don’t. (I generally enjoy cover songs and the attempt to find new life and visions for a song, and I appreciate the artistic license.

5. So, folks, what’s new for you so far in 2023?

Just weighed myself this a.m. and I came in at 199. When I was 19 years old and joined the army, I weighed 209, so I think I am doing ok – I weigh less than I did nearly 40 years ago.

The Friday Fives

1. What are we currently in the golden age of?

That’s a tough ask. It is almost like once you type out the answer, the golden age is over. But I am going to say medicine. We now have such amazing technology and solutions to so many diseases and health conditions that it is truly a golden age. In the next few decades, the only folks who won’t be able to benefit will be those stubborn folks who don’t seek medical health.

It would be helpful if we had free healthcare to match all the amazing science but baby steps – we will get there.

2. What is a part of history that we consider to be a fact that is actually 100% fake?

A lot of early American history lore – George Washington chopping down a cherry tree is a totally made-up story that is regarded as a fact.

3. You just won a billion dollars; what are you still not buying?

A luxury yacht. I will never need/want to live on/own a luxury yacht. With that kind of money, I would just rent one for a spell if the urge hits.

4. What is the dumbest thing you explained to a coworker or classmate?

Keyboard shortcuts for cut, copy, paste, and undo.

5. What’s the deepest internet rabbit hole you fell into?

Just this week, I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole following a trail of breadcrumbs about Leonard Bernstein. A fascinating man.

The Friday Fives

1.  Schools district’s are bringing back corporal punishment – were you ever paddled as a school kid?
I was not.  I believe my sister was while in 3rd grade as the teacher was a weirdo kind of dude who seemed to really get off on swatting the girls in his class. I remember there was some sort of controversy surrounding him but I don’t have the details.
There is study after study that have demonstrated that paddling students does nothing to improve behaviors, actions, attendance, skills, or intelligence in classrooms.

2.  If band names were literal, what would be the best/worst concerts to attend?
Mega-death.  Not a growing fan base because once you go to a show, well, you die.

3. Forget a billion dollars, it’s ridiculous. How would your life be changed by winning $20,000?
Pay off the ugly credit card debt.  Boring – I know.

4. What is a custom that needs to go away now?
All this parliamentary procedure in the House of Representives and the prolonged voting for a Speaker of the House.  So dang silly.  Make it a simple majority and just go with it.

5. What are some of the most passive aggressive phrases in workplace emails?
“Up to and including including termination.”  The big threatening sentence that all HR types want put onto any performance plan.

The Friday Fives

New Year’s contemplations

1. What would you try if you knew you could not fail?

Anything that requires high math (mathematics is not my forte.)

2. What would you like to be your biggest triumph by the end of the year?

Down about 15 pounds and a solid regimental walking routine of 45 minutes a day.

3. What do you think your biggest risk will be?

Mastering deep excel data mining skills.

4. What brings you the most joy, and how are you going to do more of that?

Photography. While walking always have my camera at the ready to snap urban wildlife photos

5. What is one change you could make to your lifestyle that would give you more peace?

Be more financially solvent.