Friday Fives
1. The world ends tomorrow and only you can save it – by appearing as a contestant on a Reality TV show. Which show would you pick. Why?(No, none, neither is not an acceptable answer.
I would like to think I could save the world be appearing on “Last Comic Standing,” but I don’t have 15 minutes of really strong stand up material, so the world would crumble. As a show that I think it would be fun to be on, maybe the Amazing Race?
2. Armed only with a used deodorant dispenser, a hammer and some wood screws, and a hanky, craft a Charming Christmas present for Granny.
I remember in first or second grade once I made a golden Christmas tree out of a card board tube and some dried macaroni – painted gold with spray paint. I did eventually give it to grandma. On further review it was quite an ugly craft and her acceptance of said garbage was a demonstration of pure love.
3. In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming? (haha, thanks Blogger.com)
I don’t do well naked in crowds. I have dreams about this, terrorized at the thought of being before a group of people naked – and the taunting soon begins. What is with this world and its fascination with fashion? Maybe the cave people were right to wear only a few animal skins and carry clubs. Although that would take the fun out of Ed’s shopping experiences. The boy loves his sweaters and an all naked society would put a damper on that.
4. Name the top five reasons you still believe in Santa Clause.
1. I believe in the low cost bribe that cookies and milk can achieve.
2. I believe that homes are safer if a fat hairy man can slide down your chimney – fire prevention is no joke.
3. I believe that a well equipped toy-centric society based in the North Pole is the absolute goal of any Utopia.
4. Santa exists because my momma says its so.
5. My father, GW, never had a Santa suit in his closet, verified after searching for Christmas presents on several occasions as a boy – ergo Santa must be the one doing the delivering. This is pure, scientific deductive reasoning and can’t be challenged.
5. Your 15-year-old self runs into you today. What would his/her reaction to your adult-ized fashion be?
“Wow, look at that gut! Dude, you need to step back from the keg and the caramels!” I think that guy would be a little disappointed that I am just another working drone milling away in a cubicle in an office park instead of a famous, artistic savant that I was convinced I was supposed to be.
I heard that, girlfriend!
I heard that, girlfriend!
1. He’s A Lady. I probably wouldn’t be accepted, however, as I’m not a burly man’s man about town. With the right amount of make-up & tweezing, I think I’d make a fairly convincing woman so long as I didn’t smile as my teeth are too large, but my other features are small (ears, nose, hands & feet (I wear womens size 9 narrow & can walk fairly well in heels)). ..Only slightly strange, but true.
2. I’m not all that handy so I’ve no idea what I’d make of said materials. I had a penchant for compiling cassette tapes featuring her favorite music, which she enjoyed whilst driving about town. I tried once to expose her to my music but since she passed away when I was 18, my music was overtly angsty. She listened for awhile & then tuned it out, I believe.
3. I have never dreamt anything like that, & we didn’t have a pool at my high school. I wonder what the psychological ramifications of not having naked dreams are..? Pondersome.
1. He’s A Lady. I probably wouldn’t be accepted, however, as I’m not a burly man’s man about town. With the right amount of make-up & tweezing, I think I’d make a fairly convincing woman so long as I didn’t smile as my teeth are too large, but my other features are small (ears, nose, hands & feet (I wear womens size 9 narrow & can walk fairly well in heels)). ..Only slightly strange, but true.
2. I’m not all that handy so I’ve no idea what I’d make of said materials. I had a penchant for compiling cassette tapes featuring her favorite music, which she enjoyed whilst driving about town. I tried once to expose her to my music but since she passed away when I was 18, my music was overtly angsty. She listened for awhile & then tuned it out, I believe.
3. I have never dreamt anything like that, & we didn’t have a pool at my high school. I wonder what the psychological ramifications of not having naked dreams are..? Pondersome.
4.
1) The world needs a bit more magic in it.
2) Chimneys become dirty & need a good cleaning once a year.
3) The thought of an older man delivering presents to children is creepy & delightful.
4) He is a force to be reckoned with in The Nightmare Before Christmas & therefore deserving of my respect.
5) Like me, he looks good in red (or so my mother says).
5. Muted shock at the fact that I’m wearing bright red clothing & no makeup, yet respectful because I found happiness on my own terms & am still idealistic (though not as angry about it).
4.
1) The world needs a bit more magic in it.
2) Chimneys become dirty & need a good cleaning once a year.
3) The thought of an older man delivering presents to children is creepy & delightful.
4) He is a force to be reckoned with in The Nightmare Before Christmas & therefore deserving of my respect.
5) Like me, he looks good in red (or so my mother says).
5. Muted shock at the fact that I’m wearing bright red clothing & no makeup, yet respectful because I found happiness on my own terms & am still idealistic (though not as angry about it).
1. I’d have to pick The Apprentice: partly because I’m hooked on it and also because the Mystery of Trump’s Hair is something I wish to behold in person.
2. I would make her.. ..a PAPERWEIGHT! I mean, what ELSE can you call it?
3. My naked dreams are never at school, but usually ‘work’ and any time I’m in water in dreams.. I’m drowning. Freud would have a field day with me. The old fraud.
4. a. Because Rudolf can’t exist without Santa!
b. Because I, too, have an affinity for all things red.
c. I believe in Santa as a ‘fuck you’ to the Bible Belt.
d. HO HO HO and a bottle of rum. My kinda guy (hmm.. Pirate Santa.. a new character..)
e. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
5. I think once I got past the 8″ wall of bangs, myself would say “not goth, but better than I thought”.
1. I’d have to pick The Apprentice: partly because I’m hooked on it and also because the Mystery of Trump’s Hair is something I wish to behold in person.
2. I would make her.. ..a PAPERWEIGHT! I mean, what ELSE can you call it?
3. My naked dreams are never at school, but usually ‘work’ and any time I’m in water in dreams.. I’m drowning. Freud would have a field day with me. The old fraud.
4. a. Because Rudolf can’t exist without Santa!
b. Because I, too, have an affinity for all things red.
c. I believe in Santa as a ‘fuck you’ to the Bible Belt.
d. HO HO HO and a bottle of rum. My kinda guy (hmm.. Pirate Santa.. a new character..)
e. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
5. I think once I got past the 8″ wall of bangs, myself would say “not goth, but better than I thought”.
1. The real Gilligan’s Island…..i’m sure that my ability to play the professor, Mary Ann, Gilligan, the Skipper, the Movie Star, would make up for my lack of milions needed to save the world!
2. I would make a beautiful ghostly statue of my dead grandmothers. Pretty
3.Dream, that one was always a fantasy, didn’t go swimming cause if the water is TOO COLD, well shrinkage never gets a man luckly!
1. The real Gilligan’s Island…..i’m sure that my ability to play the professor, Mary Ann, Gilligan, the Skipper, the Movie Star, would make up for my lack of milions needed to save the world!
2. I would make a beautiful ghostly statue of my dead grandmothers. Pretty
3.Dream, that one was always a fantasy, didn’t go swimming cause if the water is TOO COLD, well shrinkage never gets a man luckly!
4. a)Santa can spell Satan
b) Santa can spell Satan
c) Santa can spell Satan
d) Santa can spell Satan
e) Santa can spell Stan (drop the a)
5. You roguish devil you! Thank Dog you’ve gained a hundred pounds!
4. a)Santa can spell Satan
b) Santa can spell Satan
c) Santa can spell Satan
d) Santa can spell Satan
e) Santa can spell Stan (drop the a)
5. You roguish devil you! Thank Dog you’ve gained a hundred pounds!
1. I’d have to say Iron Chef America. I could whup Mario Batalli with one hand tied behind my back. AND I’M COMING FOR YOU NEXT FLAY!!!
2. I would craft a lovely implement for granny to keep her keys organized. That was way too easy.
3. Interestingly, given my modesty, in such dreams I inevitably show up in my pajamas. Also, I can’t swim. Thus, this question doesn’t apply to me.
4. My bitch sister told me he wasn’t real when I was four. I’ve never gotten over that.
5. I think he’d be pleased that I was still around, would love the hair and the car, but would be disappointed that I hadn’t set the world on fire yet.
1. I’d have to say Iron Chef America. I could whup Mario Batalli with one hand tied behind my back. AND I’M COMING FOR YOU NEXT FLAY!!!
2. I would craft a lovely implement for granny to keep her keys organized. That was way too easy.
3. Interestingly, given my modesty, in such dreams I inevitably show up in my pajamas. Also, I can’t swim. Thus, this question doesn’t apply to me.
4. My bitch sister told me he wasn’t real when I was four. I’ve never gotten over that.
5. I think he’d be pleased that I was still around, would love the hair and the car, but would be disappointed that I hadn’t set the world on fire yet.