Category: Friday Fives

1. What famous person had everything going for him but managed to fuck it all up?

Pee Wee Herman. His little trite mistake in an adult theater really took a toll on his career, and he never fully recovered.

2. Have you ever had a “Do you know who I am?” moment?

I was in a new job as an ops manager, and in hew hire training with team members would roll up to me eventually, I had to let them know that I was their boss’s boss and I would appreciate it if they were on time, awake and participating in the training.

3. To those people who “know a guy”, what do they do?

Well, in the corporate environs, you need that person who runs back-office problems, IT desktop support, and the facilities guy. Those three can make a world of difference in your in-office day-to-day problem-solving.

4. If you had to add one more roadside test to the current DUI field sobriety exercises, what would it be?

Luckily, I haven’t had to do this, and one time when I probably should have, I was able to talk myself out of it. That being said, I think a handwriting test – take down some dictation and rate it for legibility and spelling.

5. Which actor pulled off the best accent for a country they weren’t from?

Hugh Laurie – he is a Brit with the best mid-Atlantic American accent.

1. Remember the days when everything wasn’t online, and the workplace had that closet of office supplies? What is your favorite office supply still, even in this digital age?

I can’t work without Post-it notes.

2. What was supposed to be “The Next Big Thing” but completely flopped??

I remember all the hype around the original Segway scooter.

3. What formerly popular but now extinct restaurant do you wish would make a comeback??

My first guess was Casa Bonita, but its comeback is imminent. So I will go with Round The Corner, the burger joint. I fondly remember eating at the one up on the hill while attending Boulder. There were many creative burgers (think of a more expansive Red Robin menu), and each table had a telephone you used to place your order as a fun gimmick.

4. As a GenXer, what will be your ‘walked to school uphill through snow BOTH WAYS’ tale??

Dial-up internet and the internet itself was very sparse and difficult to navigate.

5. How do you start your day??

NYTimes crossword, first thing every morning – usually around 4:30 a.m. before rolling over and returning to sleep.

1. Do you drink tap water? why or why not?

Yes, I do. I use filtered water for coffee and tea, but I have no issue with Denver Water tap water. It tastes fine and has a good reputation for quality.

2. What technology or gadget was all the rage years ago, but now feels like a relic of the past?

Remember beepers that would send a phone number that you were to call back and often tied to an answering service, and for a good bit of time, that was the height of telecommunications sexiness.

3. What’s the most American food?

The cheeseburger. I have had burgers in a couple of other countries, and they can’t do it like us Yanks.

4. If you have money to live in another country, which country do you want to hang your hat on?

Uruguay looks pretty great. Liberal progressive culture – Atlantic beaches.

5. What’s the biggest mess you’ve ever made?

When I was trying to learn to cook for myself, I was making Texas beef chili and misinterpreted what was called for garlic, and instead of six of seven cloves of garlic, I put in six heads of garlic. It was basically inedible and I had to eat it as I was a broke college kid – let’s say I had no issues with head colds or flu that year as all that garlic warded it off.

1. If America runs on Dunkin’, what does ‘Murica run on?

Dark, evil spite.

2. Do you have a comfort show, and if so, what is it?

Diner, Drive Inns, and Dives. i don’t eat mammals or birds, so I live vicariously through Guy.

3. What is your city famous for without naming it?

Weed

4. What is the most “I’m an American tourist” thing you could say?

Can I get a big glass of ice water with my meal? (and then barely touch it.)

5. What would be the most absurd thing to fill a piñata with?

Jello. (not Jello shoots, just filled to the brim with Jello.

1. What is the fastest way you’ve seen someone get fired?

At a call center, I managed once, one of the nicest, beloved employees was caught hanging up on customers repeatedly after about three minutes all the time. On the day it was discovered, I called him into my office, and we talked, and he admitted to doing it and had been doing it for a while. I fired him on the spot rather than working with our HR team because once phone agents learn/use this skill, they tend to continue to do it, even after being coached/warned/disciplined. It is kind of like using video game cheat codes. Once you learn them, you can’t, not use them.

2. What’s your favorite movie trivia?

The film “Casablanca” was loosely (very loosely) based on a play. But, in the film, the script was literally being written on the fly – oftentimes minutes before the scene was being shot.

3. What is your favorite book (and why)?

“Moby Dick” I have now read it/listened to it on Audible about five times. It is dynamic, has majestic grandeur, and is a really funny epic tale. Seriously, get it out of your high school hatred of it and read it as a fully developed grown-up, and you will love it.

4. What the fuck do Dee Jayss actually do?

Outside of the world of the algorithm found on streaming music services, Dee Jays provide context, stories, and trivia, a sweet introductory voice to go with their song list sets. I love radio

5. What’s the best stoner food you’ve made?

Make some white rice. My rice maker is a Pyrex casserole dish with a lid, and I nuke it in the microwave. It makes great rice. Then add some butter, a bit of soy sauce, and some nutritional yeast to add some cheesy flavor, and you have some ultimate stoner food that took no effort, just maybe 23 minutes for prep and cooking.

1. What sandwich is made worse when you add cheese?

A PBJ.

2. What is the one movie you can watch over and over and never get tired of?

I have asked this question in conversation another way. What movie on TV will you always stop to watch, no matter how far into it?
I can always watch “Hunt for Red October” “The Great Escape” is also on that list.

3. What is a great idea that will just never happen?

The Star Trek transporter.

4. What’s the worst place to have a tiny scratch?

I sliced my left index finger by the upper knuckle on the side while washing a chef’s knife. It is really just a bit of a paper cut, but it is in a terrible place. I am left-handed and this little wound is in the wrong dang place, and I keep bumping it.

5. What would you choose between ketchup, mayo, and mustard for the rest of your life?

Mustard, all the way. There are so many different kinds – savory and sweet brown, stone ground, vinegary-yellow. bring them on.

1. Name a book you’ve never read and consider a guilty omission?

I have a degree in English and studied a mostly American literature curriculum – yet my guilty omission is I have never read John Steinbeck.

2. What is absolutely worth paying someone else to do?

Movers – hire a moving company to haul that stuff around. Trust me, this is money well spent.

3. What is something that is normalized in Europe yet is a completely unknown concept in the US?

I don’t know if it is all of Europe, but when I lived in Stuttgart, Germany – the traffic light went red > yellow > green and then green>yellow >red to let you know when the light was going to be green again. I always liked that. Also, at intersections, drivers were expected to turn their engines off instead of idling. But a lot of newer cars are doing that automatically now, even here in the States.

4. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no prep?

Coaching leaders on how to improve their call center employees efficiency and performance. i do this basically weekly as it is.

5. If you lived in a medieval village, what would your job be?

The town bard. I really have no other talents.

1. What would be the worst job to do naked?

Arc welder. Ouch.

2. What job is useless?

Social Media Influencer. (How do I get one of those gigs? )

3. What are the signs that it’s time to look for another job?

When a few employees leave for any reason, and there is no hiring backfill. The doors are closing soon, or the layoffs are coming.

4. What is a job that society would crumble without?

Road maintenance folks. Getting from here to there is paramount.

5. What was your first job? Why did you leave?

Worked as a dishwasher in an invalid/memory care center. Pretty dramatic and tough to handle emotionally for a 15-year-old. Ended up getting a job as a bagger at Safeway. A better gig.

Dog Days Pot Potpourri

1. What TV show did you try to get into but ultimately couldn’t?
“Game of Thrones” I tried peeps, I really did but after bringing through three seasons I gave up.

2. You won the $1 Billion Power ball, now what?
I buy a bunch of property in rural Colorado, build a compound and start a cult

3. What is the best Kung Fu movie ever made?
Kung Fu Panda
(Enter the Dragon still holds up as a great martial arts movie – put it isn’t Kung Fu)

4. You must let one fictional character move in with you. Who do you choose?
Monica from Friends. She cooks and she cleans – a great room mate.

5. What genre of movies do you hate the most?
Horror films. Not a fan at all.

1. What’s the best album?

Wow, what a tough question.

For me an almost perfect album is Whiskey Tango Foxtrot” by Wilco (But I have been in a bit of a Wilco vibe steaming this week. )

2. Which album reminds you of your college age (18-22) years?

Synchronicity by “The Police”

3. What is a music album that anyone should listen to once in their lifetime?

“Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band” by The Beatles.

4. What’s your guilty pleasure album/artist?

“Kinda Blue” by Miles Davis

5. What’s the first album you grew with that still sticks with you?

Soundtrack to “Mary Poppins.”