The Friday Fives

1. What movie has the greatest opening of all time?
The opening scenes of Raiders of the Lost Ark with the resolve of the Paramount logo onto the mountain top and then down to Indy walking through the jungle – genius.

2. Which sitcom character was the worst human being EVER?
Ross from “Friends” is a terrible person who needs to get into therapy for his agro-ego-filled jealousy.

3. What’s the worst sitcom, and why?
Three Broke Girls is just plain awful. Terrible premise and bad writing. I couldn’t watch it.

4. What classic T.V. Series has the Best Theme Song?
Barney Miller.

5. What would you do if a duck attacked you?
I get chased/attacked by geese at my office parking lot from time to time. I stop and stare them down. I can’t imagine a raving mad duck would be any different.

The Friday Fives

1. What is your favorite smell?

The Cherry Blend pipe tobacco that my dad used to smoke. I have found a few candles with this smell and I always snap those up at the store when I find them.

2. What is your catchphrase?

Probably “Living The Dream”, spoken with a smidge of sarcasm. I have caught myself saying it a lot and an employee once gave me a key chain fob that has the phrase emblazoned on it.

3. What is the movie/TV show that you totally love but nobody else around you seems to know/like it?

On The Acorn streaming service, I am quite fond of “The Detectorists” a slow comedy about two blokes who scour the countryside with their metal detectors looking for old English war relics.

4. What is a hobby you’ve picked up recently and why did you start it?

I started studying French with the DuoLingo app. I took French for two semesters in college but have forgotten most of it. It is pretty fun.

5. What is something wonderful that happened to you today?

My cold is getting much much better. I was knocked on my ass this week with an ear infection.

Also, my car got stolen but that is not the question – I think I just needed to say that out loud.

The Friday Fives

1. What are you really, really bad at? Like, hilariously bad?

Mathematics division. I can’t do it in my head, and I usually have to use a spreadsheet, but I always forget what goes into what, so I have to do the equation twice e to get what I estimate as the correct answer. (Dyslexia sucks. )

2. What song would be blasting if you were driving on an open highway?

“Life is a Highway ” by Thomas Cochrane

3. So, what do you think WAS in the briefcase from Pulp Fiction?


4. How the hell did we get anywhere without GPS navigation?

I don’t need no dang GPS. I am excellent at map reading and map and compass orienteering, thanks to the Boy Scouts and the U.S. Army. I rather enjoy reading topographical maps

5. What’s a song that mentions flowers or other plants?

“Hotel California”

:Warm smell of colitas, rising up through the air”

Questions from @ThatEricAlper

The Friday Fives

1. What food can f*ck right off?

Haggis – don’t need me, no organ meat.

2. What food is more universally loved than pizza?

Hmm, maybe hamburgers?

3. What is the BEST fast food restaurant?

I don’t do an awful lot of fast food, but I do love me some Del Taco – it’s Taco Bell made out of real food.

4. What is the worst fast food restaurant?

Back when Dairy Queen made burgers – that was pretty bad.

5. What food from a can is extremely delicious?

Back in my meat-eating days I loved canned corned beef hash.

Friday Fives

1. What job position is 100% overvalued and overpaid?

Social Media influencer. I mean, really?

2. What would be your ideal career choice if you had no financial constraints?

Professional T-Ball coach

3. What’s the most legendary work meltdown you’ve seen?

Donald Trump’s continuing meltdown after losing the 2020 election.

4. What hobby screams rich people?

Electric Hobby train sets.

5. You meet your 10-year-old self but can only tell them five words. What do you tell them and why?

So this would be around 1974, 1975. “Invest your money in Microsoft”

Friday Fives

1. What was your favorite Saturday Morning cartoon?

I always thought it was Jonny Quest, but my mom says that as a wee toddler, my favorite was Spider-man. Which tracks, I guess? I read the Amazing Spider-man cartoon strip in the news every day still to this day.

2. What is the best Pixar movie

Toys 3 with honorable mention to the Untouchables.

3. What is the best Ghibli movie?

Kiki’s Messenger Service

4. What is the best comedy stand-up special aired?

Tough question. I remember as a teen we used to watch the HBO Young Comedians special every year on HBO and the introduction to Robin Williams or Pee Wee Herman and so many others is probably my vote – although that is a comic cavalcade. If I had to pick a solo show it is Kathleen Madigan: Bothering Jesus on Netflix.

5. What’s one movie/show/song that can instantly put you in a better mood?

The movie “Airplane!” the jokes still hold up.

The Friday Fives

1. What makes a sandwich go from boring to amazing?

Hoarse radish sauce

2. What ingredient makes pizza taste 10x better?

Jalapenos – a must-have topping.

3. What is the secret to a great bowl of soup??

Celery, onions, carrots mirepoix sauteed in clarified butter.

4. What do you cook to impress someone with your chefness?

I make a slammin’ homemade pizza Margherita.

5. Breakfast? What is that about?

I used to be a huge breakfast eater – huge in an avid fan and huge in eating a really big breakfast. But over the past few years, I have eaten a much later breakfast, around 10 am, and not as big as I once did. I have come to prefer the traditional eggs and toast breakfast meal for lunch or supper.

The Friday Fives

1. Do you remember the first time you heard a “curse” word?

It was my Grandpa Nall. We were out in his shop out back, tinkering, and he dropped something and screamed out, “Damn it!” I was probably four or five years old and come from a home where swearing was just not part of the vocabulary.

2. Do you remember the first time you uttered a “curse” word?

Probably on a Boy Scout outing and knowing my clumsiness while hammering in tent spikes.

3. Besides “fuck” (because that is the undisputed best curse word!), what is the best “curse” word?

You can, of course, choose any of the words from George Carlin’s Seven Words list but for pure profane cursed perfection, go with Shakespeare: “Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.” King Lear.

4. Have you ever heard your grandparents use profanity?

See above. But, in addition to the above, I saw my grandma flip the bird at another driver in rush-hour Grand Junction traffic. I seem to remember a cigarette hanging from her lips at the time as well.

5. What was the first “R” rated movie you saw without your parents?

Probably Jaws on HBO when I was about 15 or 16?

The Friday Fives

1. What is a loved band from your past you just don’t care for?

Van Halen. I know that is heresy. I listen to Classic Rewind on SiriusXM just about all day long and hear the soundtrack of my 1970s and 1980s high school days – but they play VH and then Hagar about every 45 minutes, and they are just so overplayed.

2. What is your favorite music genre?

This is a very difficult question. Maybe it is my ADHD, but I generally bounce around genres as the mood hits me. But I think old-school blues and roots rock is where I tend to land.

3. What is the best cover version of a song?

“Twist and Shout” by the Beatles, covering the Isley Brothers. (Although the Isley Brothers also a cover version, they significantly reworked it, and their version was considered the best version – at least until the Beatles.)

Also, honorable mention – Johnny Cash’s cover of Kris Kristofferson’s Sunday Mornin’ Comin’ Down.

4. What is the worst cover version of a song?

This is probably a cheat answer, but any cover version of a song from Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumors” is going to be inferior. Just don’t. (I generally enjoy cover songs and the attempt to find new life and visions for a song, and I appreciate the artistic license.

5. So, folks, what’s new for you so far in 2023?

Just weighed myself this a.m. and I came in at 199. When I was 19 years old and joined the army, I weighed 209, so I think I am doing ok – I weigh less than I did nearly 40 years ago.