1. What jobs/careers are on the verge of extinction?
Public transit drivers and truck drivers. We are about five to eight years out from safe, effective auto-driving vehicles.
2. How do you find your phone other than calling it and retracing steps?
Google/Android has a great Find my Phone App that runs off a browser or tablet and rings the phone even if it is set on vibrate or silent. It works great. I left my phone once in a Uber and use the app to call, and the driver found it, answered, and brought it to me. He got a big tip!
3. What is something you buy that MUST be a brand name?
Heinze Ketchup. I have tried others, but they do it right at Heinze.
4. What’s a movie that can be identified by one quote?
Here’s looking’ at you, kid. (“Casablanca”)
5. What was the toy you wanted as a kid but never got?
Legos. My parents would pony up for them. Back in the middle 60s and early 70s, these now ubiquitous toys were hard to find and expensive in rural Colorado.
I get jealous of cats. Sleeping, peeing, pooping and eating. That’s their job. That’s it. Everything else is just extra. Punching in for overtime. As a cat I would do just that and really dig in and embrace the sleep.
2. What started as a joke, but people take it way too seriously today?
Flat Earthers. The evidence is overwhelming and obvious and known to mankind for thousands of years – the Earth is round. But some smart-ass started a pseudo conspiracy, and some folks have eaten it up, and the next thing you know, we have Qanon, and now everything – every single thing is a conspiracy. Folks have taken flat earthing way too seriously, and it has metastasized and bloomed, and now we are all doomed.
3. What is the greatest invention of all time?
The clock. The mechanical clock. An amazing feat of engineering and beauty.
4. What are your thoughts on frogs?
I really don’t think of them much, and that is probably a shame. Like the humble bumble bee, they play an important environmental role, and we should probably work to give them any helping hands we can.
5. What’s a sound or noise growing up that you don’t hear anymore?
The family landline telephone in the kitchen ringing.
1. If sports were all erased from our memory, which sport do you think would be rediscovered first?
MMA fighting – violence is, unfortunately, at the root of the human core. Punching one another competitively would be the first to come back.
2. What is your favorite sports-themed movie?
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
3. The World Cup is right around the corner. Will you be watching?
I am going to try. I’m not a huge fan of Qatar, but during the whole pandemic and quarantine times, I watched a lot of soccer and have gotten pretty good at following the game and understanding what is going on on the pitch. Plus, as we have learned from Ted Lasso – “Football Is Life!”
4. What was the first organized sport you remember playing?
It is hazy, but I think it was Punt, Pass, and Kick with coach (and former hometown Sheriff) Jeff Corriveau.
5. Who would win between 50 unarmed adult humans vs 1 gorilla?
Slaughterhouse Five. Vonnegut gets so deep in his anti-war message and is a master of the spare prose that tells an incredible story.
2. If the world ends, what song would play in its end credits?
The closing credits from Sesame Street.
3. Seriously, how did anyone get anywhere without GPS?
Using my trusty map.
4. What’s the best music documentary you’ve ever seen?
Each year during the Thanksgiving period, I rewatch the Last Waltz. it still holds up, although, I still have no idea why Neil Diamond is in it but a great performance nonetheless.
5. If you run your own small country, what would be your number one rule?
Turn out the lights when you leave a room. This will be punishable by incarceration.
1. What’s an underrated album by a really big artist?
“Ghost of Old Tom Joad” by Bruce. An acoustic folk album. It is so great.
2. If you had to wear one band t-shirt for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
My John Prine concert tour shirt. I love me some Prine.
3. What’s the best use of music in a film or TV show scene?
“Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)” b Kenny Rogers and the New Edition in the dream sequence of “The Big Lebowski.
4. What discontinued thing do you really want to be brought back?
The Kitchen wall phone. It really kept the entire household together. My mother could have coordinated the invasion on Normandy with this phone and her address book. She didn’t need no stinkin’ smartphone.
5. What band or artist do you feel is massively underrated?
“Exile On Main St.” by The Rolling Stones. Panned by the critics it is a rock and roll gem.
1. Who is a famous person that’s very talented but is also a piece of shit?
Gene Simmons. He can write a fine pop song but is generally a self-described ass hole, a sentiment many feel.
2. What is something in the 2010s that you miss?
Working at Sprint
3. What’s the stupidest thing that has a large fan base?
My first pass would be Professional Wrestling, but I think even more egregious.
4. What’s a song lyric that you completely misheard for a while?
“I’d Really Love to See You Tonight” by England Dan and John Ford Coley. I used to hear “I don’t want to talk about the linens” instead of “I’m not talking about movin’ in.” I know, it makes no sense.
5. What device, service, or app do you use to listen to music today?
Sirius and Spotify. It really has been a roller coaster for the last 20 years for media formats, hasn’t it? Cassettes, CDs, and then MP3s then over to Pandora, followed by all the streaming.
Pretty great. It always has been. the nuclear unit is pretty tight and close. The outer boundaries of the family unit – especially growing up were pretty chaotic, but the parents worked hard to shield us from the mess.
2. How is your relationship with your manager?
I have generally always gotten along well with my bosses. In my career there may have been two bosses I didn’t get along with and those jobs did not end well I should have done a better job reading the warning signs and gotten out earlier in those circumstances.
3. How is your relationship with your neighbor?
Usually a smile and a wave but no real relationship or friendships.
4. What is your absolute favorite useless fact?
There is a notch on the lid of French’s yellow mustard that holds the cap back from the flow of the condiment from the spigot so that mustard doesn’t get lodged in the top of the cap.
5. You and your friend star in a sitcom. what is it called?
“Bar Crawl” Kind of like “Cheers” but instead of one bar it features six or seven.
