The Friday Fives

1. How do you stop cringing at your embarrassing past?
Copious amounts of gin with some diet tonic. Does the trick every time.

2. Which celebrity is an absolute 10/10 to you?
Tom Hanks with Dolly Parton as runner up.

3. What is the human race’s biggest flaw?
Greed for power.

4. What music are you listening to right now?
The Hallmark Holidays channel on SiriusXM – The Carpenters – “Merry Christmas Darling.”

5. What was the saddest celebrity death for you?
Tom Petty and generally all the celebrities who died in 2016. These have been some brutal years.

The Friday Fives

1. Today is Friday the 13th of 2020. What horrible things are happening today?
Well, the first two weeks were kind of rocky, but things seem pretty good today. Thank you, Arizona.


2. Was Friday the 13th ever the thing at any job or school classroom?
I recall at work once some team member trying to organize everyone in the office to wear all black on that day – but I don’t recall if that was successful.


3. Are you superstitious?
Not really, no. Things happen because they happen. Is karma the same as superstitious?

4. Do you have any superstitious family members or friends?
Not in my immediate friend circle, no.


5. Do you like watching horror movies?
Not at all – too much tension and schlock. I need a good British cozy crime drama or “Friends” binge to get the oogies out of my brain.


Friday Fives

1. If you think your house is haunted, what should you do?

Well, let’s see. For Christmas ghosts, you leave out the milk and cookies for the haunted present bringer ghost. The Easter ghost (who, oddly isn’t Jesus) is commemorated with eggs (?) Obviously Halloween has the Great Pumpkin but I am unsure what one is to leave for the Great Pumpkin Halloween ghost – maybe a blanket. For a general just around the house ghost, I think it would depend on who the ghost is, but a nice cocktail would surely be welcome.

2. When should you investigate a strange noise in your basement?

As I am in an apartment and the complex is next to a school and an industrial park there are always odd little noises. Not loud, not annoying – doors closing or some foot steps.

3. How do you know if an abandoned building is safe to visit?

The doors and windows are boarded up – meaning no one has crept in to squat.

4. How do you decide whether to solve a problem as a team, or split up and go it alone?

I am not the big problem solver – at least in personal life. I leave that to others. At work, I often have to take the reins and solve it.

5. Where do you store your knives and where would you look if one was missing?

On the kitchen counter in the knife block – if one is missing it is almost always in the sink or the dish drying rack.

The Friday Fives

1. What product that you loved stopped getting made?

Nabisco Heyday Bars – a wafer cookie dipped in caramel, then covered in chocolate and coated with peanuts. So yummy. They are no longer.

2. What is the last thing you wrote using pen and paper?

I did a crossword puzzle in a book on paper with a pencil just yesterday.

3. Who is that asshole dentist who does not recommend Colgate toothpaste?

Being a member of a Crest family, I have never given this much consideration but perhaps the lab folks over at Colgate ought to dive in and reevaluate their product as they have made no inroads into the dentist choice world in decades.

4. What is the best thing you’ve added or changed to make your living space more bearable during months stuck at home?

I spent about $300.00 or so on a decent office chair and it made a world of difference.

5. What did you learn because of Covid-19?

See the illustration above. With no masks there is about 70% chance of transmissio. If both parties are wearing a mask, the chance of transmission is around .05% – this is so simple to grasp.

The Friday Fives

1. Ketchup – do you put it on eggs? On beef steaks?

No. But I highly recommend sriracha sauce on eggs – and if you can find it at Costco – Bitchin’ Sauce is yummy on eggs.

2. French Fries – do you put them in the sandwich or the hamburger?

I put French Fries inside my hamburger’s sometimes and for a sandwich, I highly recommend adding some super crispy potato chips.

3. What is a food that you can’t understand why people don’t like it?

Tofu – Properly prepared. (I like mine really crispy on the outside and cream cheese like on the inside. )

4. What is the easiest recipe you know how to make?
Basted eggs and toast. The entire mail takes about 3 and a half minutes – maybe longer depending on how soft the butter for the toast is.

5. What food did you hate as a kid and now love?
Asparagus. I never ate it as a kid but in France once I had an asparagus and cheese omelet and that changed my world.

The Friday Fives

1. What vehicle company should a buyer absolutely stay away from?

Volkswagon. They cheat and lie – to their customers, their dealers, their investors, and their governments.

2. Which company should a buyer look into?

Can’t speak for all companies but I love my Hyundai. Trog is sick right now, needs an alternator but after 12 years, I am not complaining – Trog the Tucson is a Trooper.

3. If “I’m Batman” is the wrong answer, what’s the question?

Q: Who did you vote for president?

A: I’m Batman.

4. What was your favorite show to watch as a kid/ young teen?

Either the Lone Ranger (I used to wake up early and watch it on television as 6 am when the channel started broadcasting each morning. ) or Jonny Quest – the OG adventure thriller.


5. All of the toilet paper in the world is replaced with the last thing you took a photograph of. What is wiping your ass going to be like from now on?

The Friday Fives

1. What small thing takes your anger from zero to 60 in one second flat?
When the simplest tech thing isn’t working and it isn’t user error but instead the device or app is just not doing it. ( i generally don’t lose my shizzle very often. I am quite patient – but tech crap can send me to 60 quite quickly.)

2. What took you years to connect the dots?
I have talked about this before – I was in my early 30s before
I connected that Holland and The Netherlands were the same country. (And let’s not forget I used to live in Germany where one one think one would have learned this.)

3. What would you say if you wanted someone to join your cult?
Wanna come over for some freshly coffee, warm jammies and watch retro television?


4. What is the most genius marketing strategy a company has ever used?
The Trump Organization was able to put its CEO in the White House through sheer marketing and flair – with no substance at all.

5. What is a “why the fuck do you know this” fact that you know?
There are 768 teaspoons in a gallon. Take that to trivia night.

The Friday Fives

1. You’re in charge of “2020: The Movie”. What song do you play as the end credits rolls to really emphasize the mood?

“Isn’t It Ironic” by Alanis Morrisette

2. What sounds like fiction but is in fact actually a real historical event?

The year 2020. Had I written up a film treatment with all of these plot points – corona virus, Trump impeachment, and Trump, and Trump, and Trump. I would be laughed out of the pitch meeting

3. What’s the fastest you’ve seen a crowd go from excited to horrified?

I can’t really think of something like this. I have seen some pretty dangerous rodeo events that have caused the crowd to gasp – I guess.

4. Trevor Noah once said “America is 50 countries masquerading as one” If that is the case, what country do you live in?

The Colorado Empire. Our climate is our best-kept secret. And voting is so simple it’ll make your head spin.

5. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this week?

I got laid off of a job that I really was starting to hate. I would have never left on my own. It is a scary time to go looking for a job but Denver is economically doing pretty well. I need some more tech cred – because that is where the jobs are. It really was a bad week. Well technically a bad Wednesday but I am still on my feet and moving on,

The Friday Fives

Gonzo Edition:

1. What innocent item gets suspicious if you buy too much of it?
Case lots of Vaseline

2. For 24 hours, you literally shit gold. What food/restaurants do you eat to maximize your 24hr earning potential?
Taco Bell and gummy bears.

3. If your pet could suddenly speak, what would be the creepiest thing it could say?
“Dude, seriously – you have to stop touching yourself like that”

4. What’s a good reason to be drunk at church?
Celebrating the messiah with a messiah-tai

5. If your mind got transferred into a cat. What would you do?
Oh, it is celebratory naps every day, all day, every day. Naps, naps, naps.

The Friday Fives

1. How closely do you think good manners are related to income and social status?
Very much so. Maybe not social status but stable consistent income, not just gobs of money, as well as a stable family with a stable routine, tend to raise families with good manners and social skills.

2. Can the idea of good manners inhibit people’s natural sense of fun and inhibition?
I don’t think so. Sure we may hold back sometimes but maybe sometimes not always going for the uninhibited comment, action or reaction is a good thing.

3. Do people have more manners now or in earlier times?
As an entire society – yes, we are all more mannerly, more considerate to one another. When we watch the news and we see the craziness going on, we think all is lost but we live in the best times this world has ever known with the highest economic prosperity for everyone. Sure there are inequities that can be addressed but we are not living in the dark ages anymore.

4. Do you say “hi” to people even if they are strangers? Why? Why not?
Yeah, I do. I don’t do this in the city but in rural Colorado visits I also wave at the cars and trucks that I encounter – a that is the socially polite thing to do.

5. Do you listen to other’s people conversations on the street?
Eavesdropping is great – and in keeping with this week’s questions, not really polite. I miss taking the public transit into work for the eavesdropping and people watching each morning and evening.