Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. Who is the most overrated actor/actress/celebrity in showbiz? Presently? Past? Four years ago?
Paris Hilton. Pauly Shore. Dennis Miller.

2. At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass?
Improper use of turn signals will result in an ass kicking. Applying make up while in the car will result in ass kicking. Eating other people’s food out of the break room refrigerator will result in ass kicking. Smoking will result in ass kicking.

3. Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less.
Casablanca is about making the choice of love and country or self preservation.

4. What’s the most inappropriate theme/reason to hold a party? Send a card. Buy a present?
Party: The destruction of Palestine? Card: Hey, congrats, you have cancer. Present: You’ve lost your house and family in a cataclysmic hurricaine. Here is a housewarming gift- a blender.

5. Provide a link to The MOST boring website you can find. Mind numbing, poke your eyes out boring is what we are looking for here. Bad design helps, certainly, but content of the most dull order will be the goal.
Well, my first inclination was this but is a lame cop out. There is always this doozy, but it seems for formulaic and intentional (and actually funny and kind of hypnotic.) Then I immediately remembered Zombo which is dull in a room-full of clows sort of way. Eventually, however, I settled with this. A thoughtful, deliberate and erudite discussion of geophysics. Not for the laymen, I suppose.

9 Replies to “Friday Fives”

  1. 1. Who is the most overrated actor/actress/celebrity in showbiz? Presently? Past? Four years ago? Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise.
    2. At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass? When itÂ’s time to indulge, donÂ’t come between me and my coffee, cocktail or smoke.
    3. Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less. ItÂ’s impossible to do that in fifteen words or less; I love so many films.
    4. What’s the most inappropriate theme/reason to hold a party? Send a card. Buy a present? Party: Another Sports Bar Just Opened! Card: YouÂ’re My Best Friend, Mr. Inmate! Present: A pet monkey is NEVER an appropriate gift.
    5. Provide a link to The MOST boring website you can find. Mind numbing, poke your eyes out boring is what we are looking for here. Easily http://www.kli.org/

  2. 1. Overrated actor/actress/celebrity
    Presently—Jim Carrey. Fart noises and bug-eyes do not equate to
    Oscar-worthy performances. Four years ago—Leonardo DiCaprio. He’s
    simply not believable or credible in any role. Aside from Gilbert
    Grape, he essentially plays himself over and over again. Of all
    time—I’ll catch hell for this, but I’m going with James Dean. I just
    didn’t find him to be that technically skilled.

    2. At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass?
    When it becomes clear that no one else is gonna kick ass (*and* I
    happen to be wearing a long sleeved shirt—proper ass kicking wardrobe
    is essential).

    3. Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less.
    Trois Couleurs: Rouge in exactly 15 words. . . . .
    An injured dog.
    A voyeuristic judge.
    A fashion model.
    Discovering life’s patterns and one’s destiny.

  3. 4. Inappropriate Party/Presents/Cards? I don’t approve of made-up Hallmark holidays—Boss’s Day, Secretary’s Day, Hanukkah, etc.

    I also think that other life events should *not* be celebrated. For example, cards I wish I’d never received: “It’s a Biopsy!” or “Happy Gay Bashing” etc.

    5. The MOST boring website.
    This one is bad, yet I go there every day. http://www.profitsource.us/PDND/
    The 10 HOTTEST stories in the global payments industry—with sexy teasers.

  4. 1. Who is the most overrated actor/actress/celebrity in showbiz? Presently? J.(el)Lo Past? Tom Cruise Four years ago? Ben Affleck

    2. At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass? When someone speaks to me a condescending manner. Although I prefer to use my sharp tongue instead of my boot.

    3. Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less. Dancer in the Dark is beautiful & tragic, but leaves me feeling incredibly inspired.

  5. 1. Who is the most overrated actor/actress/celebrity in showbiz? Presently? Past? Four years ago?

    Ryan Seacrest. Zsa Zsa Gabor. Bill Pullman (he really can’t act his way out of a paper bag).

    2. At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass?
    If someone tips me to the cops.

    3. Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less.
    That John Malkovich can be a real son of a bitch at times.

    4. What’s the most inappropriate theme/reason to hold a party? Send a card. Buy a present?
    Party: I just caught a Sexually Transmitted Disease, PARTY ON!!

    Card: Congratulations, it’s a tumor.

    Present: A coupon for buy one get one free caskets?

    5. Provide a link to The MOST boring website you can find. Mind numbing, poke your eyes out boring is what we are looking for here. Bad design helps, certainly, but content of the most dull order will be the goal.

    http://internationalseparationtech.com/tech.htm It’s all about mining technology and separations control.

  6. 1. Who is the most overrated actor/actress/celebrity in showbiz? Presently? Past? Four years ago? Presently, Tom Hanks. The past, Judy Garland. Four years ago? Pauly Shore!

    At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass? If you lie to me I’ll be inclined to Kick your ass. Beanie Babies, enough said.

    Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less. “The Edge” because at the time it inspired to change my life.

    What’s the most inappropriate theme/reason to hold a party? Send a card. Buy a present? For your Beanie Baby’s Birthday, again, I’ll kick your ass.

    5. Provide a link to The MOST boring website you can find. Mind numbing, poke your eyes out boring is what we are looking for here. Bad design helps, certainly, but content of the most dull order will be the goal.
    http://boring.whiteyellowpages.com/

  7. 1. Overrated celebrity.
    Presently – Jessica Simpson. But she has great boobies, so i’m not really complaining about seeing her every 2 minutes.
    Past – Fabio. What a tool.
    4 years ago – David Spade. without chris farley….you. are. not. funny. you. are. irritating.

    2. At what point do I get to roll up my sleeves and kick some ass?
    haha-um. unfortunately, there are far too many points for this to take place, and i have the police record to prove it.
    but PLEASE DON’T WALK SO FUCKING SLOW WHILE IN FRONT OF ME. JESUS. OH, and for fucks sake, don’t put your dog in the bed of your goddamned pickup, dumbass.

  8. 3. Describe your favorite movie in 15 words or less.
    The Big Lebowski. no movie has ever managed to make me laugh HARDER after the 48th viewing.

    4. What’s the most inappropriate theme/reason to hold a party? Send a card. Buy a present?
    party – the election of Dubya.
    card – “Glad to see you’re hanging in there after your latest murder conviction!”
    present – Happy Divorce.

    5. Boring website.
    this works.
    http://www.cleo.net.uk/followtheyarn/

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