Category: Friday Fives

Very Random Lot

(Be creative because this week, the questions are all over the place.)

1. Please list your last five employers (taken from an online job application.):
Sprint
Ryder TRS
Williams Company
(Bonus: Various Temp jobs )
Colorado Statesman
Craig Daily Press

2. Do you prefer a window or aisle seat. (taken from an online travel agency questionnaire)?
Generally, I will choose the window seat.

3. How many people are on the wait list? (taken form the University of Iowa Admissions FAQ)?
We have over 300 people on the wait list, but don’t let that discourage you. Each year, we provided the opportunity for thousands of people to enjoy the life changing experience that majikwah.com provides. Come on over and bring a friend. Let us tell you about our exciting business opportunity.

4. How do you cope with the logistics of having multiple babies and is the pressure always so relentless? (Found on a blog of friday questions but reminds my of Octa-mom.)
When ever I find myself dealing with the ins and outs of my multiples, I am struck by the great words of my friend Jeffrey – “the Dude abides” – kind of a zen like mantra for child rearing.

5. Please list in detail all the times you worked with Carl J. Kipper in any capacity, when, where and why. (Found in s a deposition filed by the City Council fo Hartford, CT)
I consider Carl a friend. He spells his name with a “C” and not a a “K”, which is a bonuse. I met him in a Nevada cat house back in 68. He just came back from ‘Nam needed a job. I hired him to polish the limo and to serve in an unofficial security role to protect me from arch nemesis Kevin Lang who I am certain to this day is trying to kill me.

1. What does your body tell you when you get out of bed in the morning?
Pee, sweet Jesus, I have to pee. Body also usually tells me I have been in bed to long and to get upright ASAP.
2. How well do you treat your body? Do you feed and exercise it well? Go for regular check-ups? I walk a bit, not enough. I recently lost about 75 lbs. We have a professional body builder at work and she is offering her services to our manager group to serve as our personal trainer/diet counselor. Talk to me in 12 weeks – I should be svelt.
3. What part of your body feels strongest?
Calves. I have strong calves, from my years in the army running in combat boots.
4. Which is the weakest?
Wrists. I have wimpy ass wrists.
5. If you had to live without the use of one body part for the rest of your life, which would it be? Why?
Right hand. i really only use it for mousing ont he computer, typing and for carrying groceries. All of those can be replaced with my left hand working a bit harder.

This wee’s Five’s via Lono:

Late night talk

In lieu of Conan’s last show being tonight, and Fallon taking over in a couple of weeks. You know, of course, that in April Conan moves to Leno’s spot. Leno is moving to 9 pm.

1. Are you a Letterman of a Leno fan?
Letterman. He is the master of the form. A bit bored, a bit interested, always “on” and still as weird as he was in his early days of day time television thirty some years ago. Leno blows.

2. Favorite Late Night memory (Letterman, Leno… whoever)
This was back on the old late nite show on NBC. When Letterman did his entire show from a crappy hotel room in times square. The bathroom was the green room. Paul and his organ squeezed into the corner. One of the guests was Hunter Thompson and the interview was completely incomprehensible.

3. Craig Ferguson or Conan?
I DVR Ferguson and watch nearly every show. I enjoy Conan but Ferguson is charming, less scripted and overall more interesting.

4. Do you remember Carson? Arsenio? Joan Rivers? Chevy Chase? Who was the best?
Johnny Carson was great. Rent a few best of Carson’s DVDs some day. He was sharp and on the dime. For all intents and purposes, he invented the current form of the late night talk show.

5. Let’s just stop everything and talk about the whole Joaquin Phoenix incident on Letterman. Drugs? Hoax? A ‘bit’?
I watched it on You Tube. I am not as obsessed about it as Kevin was. Although it was like going back in time and watching Letterman interview Andy Kaufman. An uncomforatable 10 minutes of television.

1. What activity can you not believe you survived in your childhood?
Playing on the sandrocks that overlook the town. There were plenty of times as a child I could have fallen pretty far down the cliffs and ended it all.

2. What activity can you not believe kids get away with today?
Meth. Crazy kids of meth and there are always driving around and getting on my lawn. Get off my lawn you crazy meth kids.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world live or dead, who would you choose to be?
We all want to be Ed, at least for a day.

4. A lot of people think they’ve been in love at 15 or 16 years old, do you think you now look back and think you were a stupid kid or do you believe that you were old enough to know what love is?
Foreigner said it best back in high school when they belted out the time true lyric: “I wanna know what love is!”

5. Do you think it is possible to remain in love with someone you once loved, but haven’t seen in a year?
It has been a year since I have seen Tony Mo and I still love him. Hell he lives across town. This is all my fault. I am gong to scour the coach for tax fare and look him up.

1. What types of board games do you like to play, if any?
Tvial Pursuit kinda things. I also like Scattergories, Scrabble and Scotland Yard.

2. How often do you play board games?
A couple of times a year at family gatherings.

3. What is your absolutely favorite game?
Card games – especially Pinochle. I can rock Pinochle.

4. Describe your Monopoly strategy.
Hmmm, tough one. I am generally a buy and conquor. Buy as much and as often as you can and spread the wealth around the board so you are always getting some cash flow.

5. Do you feel that board games are becoming obsolete with the rise in computer and video gaming?
Yes. It is difficult to get a group of four folks to turn off, reset and reassemble at the dining room table.

1. If you could receive one non-tangible item for the holidays, what would you choose?
Christmas with my father.

2. Do you save your favorite thing on your plate for last or eat it first? In essence, do you “save the best for last”?
I tend to eat all of one thing and then move to the next. I will usually eat my favorite last.

3. Do you use coupons?
No. And I should. It is so simple. I had a roommate who was a coupon clipper – she was very organized in her shopping and saved a fortune on food.

4. When you were in high school did you eat dinner with your family or on your own?
Family dinners, every night. Mom would always, without fail, have dinner on the table at 6:30 pm and all of us were expected to be there.

5. When you take your socks off, do you always use your hands to do it, or do you ever use your toes?
I use my toes or a combination of toes and foot stamping the bottom end of sock with a pull.

I just listened to the new Springsteen album. It is so many different shades of suck that I think music itself maybe over. With that I need to be cheered up.

1. What are you listening too that is new, fresh and simple?
It isn’t new, but when I need fresh and simple I go to Jorma’s Blue Country Heart. An amazing album of foot stomping porch sitting music.

2. What would you do for fun if you had to give up tv, movies, electronic games and the internet?
I have a stack of New Yorker’s and Harper’s magazine and probably two crates of books I haven’t written. I also have stacks of journals that need to be filled. And the list doesn’t limit music. I may find some music that can reenlighten me.

3. _____; are you kidding me???

Merril Lynch

4. What is a quick, easy, fun meal to make to handle my sudden comfort food needs.
This is simple – chicken, raspberries and a crockpot.

5. What’s the oddest thing you’ve ever made with bread?
I homemade pita bread once. it is pretty odd and different, all things considered.

As we end an era and begin to turn the page of history, let us pause and reflect.

What are five things that George Bush can do once he becomes a private citizen.

1. Magician – his ability to distract the media and the meddlers is awesome – awesome in that it evokes awe.

2. Frat president. He is a frat guy, he experience as a president. He should go find a school down in Houston where he will be moving, and see if can be elected president of a frat house.

3. Wood chopper. Seriously, did you notice over the last year while down in Texas, how much he was photographed and filmed chopping wood? And it never gets cold in Crawford. What the hell is all that wood for?

4. Snake oil salesman – his ability to sell a war and an ideology of a free democratic arab state means this dude can sell anything. George Bush, king of the cold call sale.

5. Childrens’ librarian. His interest in school books, such as “My Pet Goat’ means he could provide lots of insight and love to a nice little library somewhere – like maybe Alaska.

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Driving home from work. About ready to pull into “Crapabbleby’s” to pick up some supper to go. Wow, the Margherita chicken they make is really good. I apologize to you all for having gone there, eating this and enjoying it.

2. Who are you in love with?
Today? I am in love with Jorma. I am listening to him, reading about him and wanting to visit the Fur Peace Ranch to learn how to play finger pickin’ guitar.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Yes. As a child. And I can still remember the waxy, oily taste.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
There is a pink colored box on Kleenex on the floor .. . and a pink pair of reading glasses on the coffee table.

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
I work very very close to a mall down south in the metro area. Yet I avoid it like the plague. I haven’t set foot in probably 9 months or so. We did a work lunch thing at a restaurant there last year but I haven’t been back since.

Happy New Year!

1. What is your biggest waste of time in your home?
The internets. Specifically, Popurls – A link fest of internety goodness. Next would be the television and comcast ondemand. There is always something good to watch on TV.

2. When at work, what is the activity that you find wastes the most time?
Email. Email and then Email. I have 150 or so a day to go through and 60 percent are pure crap and not job related at all.

3. When getting busy with a date or significant other, what ritual could you do without?
The chase is fun. The various acts of “buisiness” are always fun. Spponing and the sleeping together gets tedioius.

4. What is the biggest waste of time on the Internet?

This

5. What do you do at a restaurant to waste time when waiting for your meal?
If alone, I read the NYT online usually. If with peoples, I actually talk and engage in communicating with humans. That can be tedious sometimes.