Very Random Lot
(Be creative because this week, the questions are all over the place.)
1. Please list your last five employers (taken from an online job application.):
Sprint
Ryder TRS
Williams Company
(Bonus: Various Temp jobs )
Colorado Statesman
Craig Daily Press
2. Do you prefer a window or aisle seat. (taken from an online travel agency questionnaire)?
Generally, I will choose the window seat.
3. How many people are on the wait list? (taken form the University of Iowa Admissions FAQ)?
We have over 300 people on the wait list, but don’t let that discourage you. Each year, we provided the opportunity for thousands of people to enjoy the life changing experience that majikwah.com provides. Come on over and bring a friend. Let us tell you about our exciting business opportunity.
4. How do you cope with the logistics of having multiple babies and is the pressure always so relentless? (Found on a blog of friday questions but reminds my of Octa-mom.)
When ever I find myself dealing with the ins and outs of my multiples, I am struck by the great words of my friend Jeffrey – “the Dude abides” – kind of a zen like mantra for child rearing.
5. Please list in detail all the times you worked with Carl J. Kipper in any capacity, when, where and why. (Found in s a deposition filed by the City Council fo Hartford, CT)
I consider Carl a friend. He spells his name with a “C” and not a a “K”, which is a bonuse. I met him in a Nevada cat house back in 68. He just came back from ‘Nam needed a job. I hired him to polish the limo and to serve in an unofficial security role to protect me from arch nemesis Kevin Lang who I am certain to this day is trying to kill me.
you had Carl ‘polish the limo’? What kind of crazy sex shit is that? Did he beat your bishop? Did you do the laundry by hand? Did you meet the general?
you disgust me
1. Please list your last five employers (taken from an online job
application.):
Debbie, Mitch, Harvey, John, Julia. Side note, I just found out yesterday I am keeping my job. In the old days, we would have meetings if we were losing our jobs. These days, things are so bad, we had to have a meeting to let everyone know they were keeping their jobs. I am thankful, and not complaining.
2. Do you prefer a window or aisle seat (taken from an online travel
agency questionnaire)?
Aisle seat, every time. Am like a kid when I fly… must see the view. Also, I always listen to U2’s ‘City of Blinding Lights’ when I am in the air. at no other time do I listen to this song.
3. How many people are on the wait list? (taken from the University
of Iowa Admissions FAQ)?
3
4. How do you cope with the logistics of having multiple babies and is
the pressure always so relentless? (Found on a blog of friday
questions but reminds my of Octa-mom.)
two words for you: nannies!
5. Please list in detail all the times you worked with Carl J. Kipper
in any capacity, when, where and why. (Found in s a deposition filed
by the City Council fo Hartford, CT)
Carl is a decent person and a hard worker. Carl is often misunderstood and mis-represented. Because of his ‘intense’ personality and work ethic, Carl can be perceived as difficult or stand off-ish (Terry’s term). Carl is an important member of the team, and we want him to succed.
However, when Carl throw the fish at his co-workers, it breed contempt. Carl is working hard on his behaviors, and is enrolled in pilates. Problem is, Carl is a loser. A big fat fucking fish throwing loser. Carl continues to keep a positive attitude toward coaching, though. We expect things to improve with Carl in the second quarter. Carl needs to know that further fish throwing or pencil smoking will result in further corrective action up to and including termination.
!. My last 5 employers include:
Beggars Group USA/Matador Records http://www.beggarsgroupusa.com http://www.matadorrecords.com
Sanctuary Records
various temporary agencies at one time
In Touch Today (please boycott)
Fedex Kinko’s
@. I prefer a window seat because the views fascinate me more than strangers.
#. No one is currently on the wait list & that hurts my ego.
$. I coped with the logistics of having so many babies years ago when I told Thom, “If you want to keep 1 of the kittens, you’re solely responsible to all the food purchasing, all the litter purchasing & care of the litter boxes. I will feed the cats if you are unavailable to do so but only then because it keeps them docile & quiet.” I’m happy to report that it’s worked well thus far!
%. I have never worked with Carl J. Kipper and after doing some research, believe I never will work with him. If he’s been probed by a state, he’s of no use to me.
1. Western Union
First Data
Harcourt Publishing
PSP
Infotek
2. An aisle seat please. Studies have shown that passengers in aisle seats have a much higher likelihood of surviving “the crash.”
3. The wait list can vary based on a number of factors. Our advice: C’mon down and try your chances. What’s the worst that could happen? You might make a few like-minded new friends while waiting on line.
4. Actually, having multiples is kind of a relief when it comes to spare parts. Plus, with multiples, you don’t get all that attached to any one of them, so you don’t feel bad about letting one or more cry themselves to sleep.
5. Carl and I go way back. When I was in elementary school, he used to carry me around on his back, and we’d play for hours. Of course the fact that Carl was in his 30’s should have been a sign to the authorities. However, I think that everyone was relieved to see Carl so happy, and my parents were pleased with free childcare. We drifted apart after second grade, and I have only seen him sporadically since. Why do you ask?
1.) Self. Self. Self. The Toluca Lake Athletic Club. Self.
2.) I would rather sail and stand on the balconey.
3.) Countless women.
4.) I am multiple baby free and thus free from the relentless pressure of having one or more of the strange little creatures!
5.) Carl J. Kipper was my proctologist who dreamt of being a broker. I often wondered why he wasn’t following his dream. I told him once when he was massaging my bladder that, hey, if he became a broker he wouldn’t have to wear latex gloves and even though the job requirments were similar he wouldn’t have to put his fingers up rectums unless he wanted to.
1. University of Colorado, Cancer Therapy Research Center, Nix Hospital, Park Laboratories, US Army. The odd thing is that this list represents ALL of the employers I have ever had.
2. As long as the person sitting next to me isn’t fat, I couldn’t care less.
3. Currently none; we just ran out of those “you’re next” tickets and our line just dried up. I think those bitches down at the Unemployment Office stole our tickets.
4. The logistics of having multiple babies is simple. Place babies in very large crib with lots of those gerbil water bottles hanging off of it. Chuck some of kitty’s kibble in the crib and then hunker down in a corner with a bottle, a shotgun and your bewilderment as to how it all went so very wrong.
5. I’ve never worked with Carl. I hear he’s all the rage, but I think he’s a big fat ass-licker. Oh, and he has a chin like Peter Griffin’s which also makes him a dickhead. Stupid Carl.
1. Wells Fargo Insurance Services
Atradius
Boulevard Media
Schaefer, Rooke & Nelson
The French Confection
2. aisle seat (easier to steal the little bottles ‘o booze from the flight attendant’s pockets)
3. 5…no wait…….4.
4. i ate my young. voila…stress free!
5. my lawyer says i’m not allowed to discuss Carl J. Kipper.
1) The Integer Group, Self, Richmond American Homes, Self, Self.
2) Emergency-row window seat. I fly enough to know where the most legroom is, and yes I do speaka da English.
3) Pi.
4) This one is especially for me…duct tape, closets and doggy water bowls.
5) Carl is a cannibal and ate my duct-taped baby. “nough said.
1)South Metro Fire/Rescue, Denver Paramedics, Columbine Ambulance, Hayo-Went-Ha YMCA Camp, Gunnison Valley Hospital, Dos Rios Golf Club
2)Due to my medical condition of FP I prefer the exit row isle
3)I count 10,000 before the line wraps around the block out of sight.
4)Keep one and sell the others for parts on E-Bay
5)There was just this one time and I didn’t really work. I mean Carl did all the work I just kinda stood there with my pants around my ankles, and my beer on his head.
Okay, I know this is nearly a week late, but I have had absolutely no time ’til now to do this.
1. Denver Public Schools, City of Denver, City of Lakewood, City of Greeley, Aims Community College
2. Unless you want me throwing up on you, aisle is the way to go (vertigo sucks hard). I would love the window seat, but my inner ear just won’t tolerate it.
3. It is an infinite number (yes, I AM that popular).
4. With 4 you get egg rolls.
5. Carl was a great worker. He never complained about the strange hours and “messy” work. He could dig a hole faster than anyone else with whom I have ever worked. Unfortunately, Carl had to “move on” because he knew where all the bodies (literally) were buried.