1. If you could, would you be a movie star or a rock star? Which one, and why?
Rock Stars get more nookie, but in the end I am lazy and Movie Stars don’t have to work very hard. A few lines in a movie then spend the rest of the time just looking pretty. Not a bad life.
2. Do you know anyone who’s been on a reality TV show?
No, I can’t say I have. That is a lame answer to a lame question. Let’s imagine a new reality TV show based on me. Would viewers tune in to watch me watch porn and pick my nose?
3.Would You Rather…be trapped in a cage with a lion? -or- eat peanut butter off a hobo’s foot?
I am reading John Hodgeman’s book and he is obsessed with hobos. With that in mind, I go with hobo.
4. Have you ever met anyone famous?
I have met several. I guess the most famous would either be Bob Dole or Colin Powell. Oh, wait, I met Al Franken once too. He was real grouchy. James MacArthur (Book’em, Dano) came through my check out line at Safeway in Gunnison. He lives in Crested Butte. Hunter Thompson was in the Wooden Nickel in Crested Butte once when I was there but there is an unwritten rule in remote moountain ski towns not to bother the celebs who are there.
5. Who would play you in a movie?
Well, I would first go with a younger Bill Murray, but now, in my ealy 40s, I need someone else . . . Darrel Hammond, maybe?
Navel Gazing, tips tricks and suggestions
1. I’m with RW on this one–movie stars have easier lives, less work, and tend to have less wear and tear on their bodies. And given the sheer amount of film work I’ve done, it’s pretty clear that I’m headed towards movie stardom (I’m writing this from the set of my newest Lifetime buddy-thriller, starring Danny Glover and Markie Post. The working title is “Lethal Contraction”, and while I can’t divulge the plot deets, suffice it to say that a high-risk pregnancy is involved.)
2. What a stupid question. Everyone knows that Clay Aiken and I used to be lovers (*WHAT* was I thinking?). So yes. I’ve known my share of “reality stars.”
3. This is stomach churning, but I’m guessing the hobo incident would be more survivable (just ask my good friends Seigfreid unt Roy).
4. I met President George H. W. Bush once when he was VP, and again as he was running for president. He actually recalled having met me (or else he was an excellent bulshitter. . .probably the latter).
5. John Cusack has been bugging me for years for the movie rights to my story. I think he’s getting a little long in the tooth for the role, so I’m now leaning towards Mario Lopez (primarily because the Ed Story is LOADED with dance numbers).
1. Definitely a rock star of some kind. My off-kilter fashion sense would be heralded as opposed to falling into the “what was she thinking” column – rock stars are given much more artistic license.
2. I have never met anyone from a reality TV show, or known someone who ended up in one.
3. Roy, this is disgusting. Have you ever *smelled* a lion’s cage? Yuck. Perish the thought.
4. I have met Tom Skerritt (at a checkout line at Safeway in Gunnison), Don Johnson & John Denver(at a celebrity skeet shoot in Aspen), Traci Lords (she came to WSC to give a speech on “how to stay out of porn” or something and I got her autograph for a guy I was dating at the time), and my personal favorite – Jello from the Dead Kennedys.
5. I haven’t the foggiest idea who I would play in film. Seriously, I can’t even make up an answer. It has me stumped.
before we get to my fives, can I just say I love JOhn Hodgeman? That guy is brilliant and superfunny. He is on the Daily Show a lot, and was on NPR last month doing a dead serious explanation of the great Zombie war. John Stewart uses him as a straight man, and Hodgeman kills it every time.
Friday Fives
1. If you could, would you be a movie star or a rock star? Which one, and why? movie star for sure. As a music guy, I understand the life of a rock star and it is a lot of work and a short shelf life. Unless you are Mich, you get 5 to 10 years in the limelight tops. Movie stars get life long opportunities. Plus, I really don’t think it is that much work. The average film shoot is 30 days. Do two of those a year and you are set. Also, I ♥ johnny depp
2. Do you know anyone who’s been on a reality TV show? while I am personally convinced my day to day activities carry ‘Truman Show’ like importance… no. Wait, my big brother was on Love Connection some time ago. Does that count?
3.Would You Rather…be trapped in a cage with a lion? -or- eat peanut butter off a hobo’s foot? the lion, because I have an amazing repoire with animals. I don’t know why but animals seriously really like me. I have had ladies tell me their horses are nicer to me than them. Plus, my feet have many hobo like qualities… and nobody wants to be there.
4. Have you ever met anyone famous?sure. When I was a kid I met Mr T at a one of those stadium motocross things that later evolved into tractor pulls. I think I got his autograph. Also, I have done ok with rock stars since I am an obsessive rock fan. So in that arena I have met: stone gossard, don mclean (American Pie guy), Billy Corgan, Trey Anathasio, Les Claypool, all the guys from late 80’s Anthrax, Ozzy, Dave Mustaine (Megadeth). In addition, I have not just met but been hugged by these gentlemen: Moby, Richie Havens, Arlo Guthrie.
5. Who would play you in a movie?who could carry my boundless joy for life and charisma, while still being short fat bald and ugly? I would have to go with the amazing Paul Giamatti for his amazing acting skills… and his generally schlubbiness in physical appearance.
!) Movie star. They’ve got fascinating religions & tend to shine longer.
@) I don’t think I’ve known someone on a reality show as I don’t typically watch them. On our second or third date, Thom & I thought we were going to be featured on Cheaters though. Does that count?
#) I’m going with the hobo. I’ve enough cats in my life currently.
$) I’ve met several famous musicians over the years & last night met many, many more at our holiday party. Everyone except Nivek Ogre has been very pleasant.
%) Some unknown would play me & soar to stardom ala Brandon Routh.
1) Both. If Dolly Parton can do it, so can I. If Wil Smith can do it, so can I. If Britney Spears can do…Never mind, movie star me.
2) Yes, Greg Bernstein’s brother was on Survivor a few time as a background extra, due to the fact he is a producer for the show. There’s also that chick at the downtown Common Grounds coffe shop who was on Survivor as well.
3) Nutter Butter….but hobo butter is better!
4) Lot’s of famous people. I interviewed Cher, Wynona Ryder and Christina Ritchie during a press junket for Mermaids. I flyfish with Bud Grant (Minn. VIkings) every year. I was good friends with Brian Nevin from Big Head Todd. But really, I actually got to talk with Helan Hayes before she died and that was cool.
5) Sir John Gielgud or Flavor Flav.
1)Movie star they can still do their job into their 70’s and even after having a massive stroke!
2)My Brother
3)Having interacted with more “hobos” than most of you I go for the lion at least I can have a fighting chance.
4)Yes
5)Will Farrell DUH!
1. I can’t sing, and I don’t really want to, so I’ll go with acting…
2. No. Bleh. I’d probably not profess to know them if I did.
3. I have a thing about feet. I also dig cats. I think I’ll brave the lion. Perhaps my calmness will calm the savage beast…
4. Not so as you’d notice.
5. Dougie Houser’s alter ego.
1) Movie star all the way, and I think we’ve all exhausted the numerous reasons why.
2) I do, and so do you Majikwah! Jesse Rickert! He was on that OLN show “Global Extremes” where he competed against ~500 people to get to climb Mt. Everest. And he even won and climbed that fucker, along with a guy from Aspen – go Colorado!
3) Had I not, on my way to the MOCA, seen a “hobo” sleeping at a bus stop with a huge open sore on his foot with a stream of ants coming from the gutter to nibble on his yummy innards, I would be tempted to say PB me. I’ll have my go with the king of the jungle.
4) I have met many, I am in LA afterall. I work with some of the world’s most well known astronomers. I’ve met lots of motocrossers and rallyists. Mainly TV & film stars. In fact, last night I was chatting with Samuel L. Jackson while at Spike TV’s Video Game Awards.
5) If Hollywood had its way I’m sure those racist fucks would cast Lucy Lu, who is A) Chinese and B) although she is short & cute, she looks nothing like me. But if I could do the casting, I would have to say Tamlyn Tomita, but like she looked in “Come See the Paradise” or “Jag” not so much like she did in the “Karate Kid II.” Either her or Gwneth Paltrow, just because, who the hell knows who I am in the first place?