The Friday Fives

1. Oil is found in the moon. What happens next?

Let the space wars begin! It would be China, Europe & the US in a bitter three way. Thankfully though, the moon us made of cheese.

2. A fuel-driven economy is no longer necessary – what would be the first thing to change in such a world where fuel concerns no longer matter?

Goodbye to all that money going to Israel and the middle east. And perhaps a gleaning of world peace.

3. If researchers revealed that it was too late to stop climate change and that we “should’ve turned the car off 20 years ago.”, what would be your reaction?

I ride a train, and I save water. I fill up gas about every 6 weeks. I’d probably be okay with no cars.

4. Crayola is launching a new brand of adult crayons, what are the new names for colors?

Penis Purple. Acne rose, Vomit.

5. What did you do today that would make Mr. Rogers proud?

Smiled and said hello to my bus riding neighbor.

The Friday Fives

1. What’s that thing you do that you just hate?

I think maybe hypnotherapy is the only solution. I am a nose picker, and I catch myself, and I have no clue I am doing it. It is a nervous tick after all these years and the root of almost everything that is wrong with me. If I can conquer this, I will conquer the world.

2. What’s that thing they do that you just adore?

Those weirdly fascinating Trump adorers who have never inclined to connect the dots between the things he says visa vie the things he does. (We are all doomed!)

3. When was the last time you were at the bottom of the well of sadness? 

When my mother was deathly sick about 8 or 9 years ago, and I had just met with the death counseling doctor/pastor who works at the Anschutz Medical Center. Driving home down I 25 with tears streaming down my face as I was shouting out loud – “No, I can’t lose you too, it is too early for you to go!” (spoiler – June lived, and I spent the weekend with her, and she has some much energy and love of life she is frankly exhausting for a 78-year-old.)

4. What was it that made you the happiest you have ever been? 

Maybe getting my green bike from the Gambles store with the sissy bar on the back and big handles upfront. I loved that thing. I think I left it behind a car – it got rolled over backing out in a prescient recreation of a Brady Bunch episode.

5. You get to recreate the memory of an event in the past – which one needs the big edit button?

The day Gary Nall got the cancer – yep, that’s the one.

Friday Fives

1. Do you like, dislike, or pay no attention to the wind?
I come from a very windy part of the country – northwest colorado, south-central Wyoming. And there is really wind there – always, all the time to the point where you can’t not pay attention to it. As a result on a nice, calm day in Denver with no wind or only a very slight breeze, I take a second to notice it and pay it heed and appreciate the stillness.

2. Do you have allergies or sinus made worse by the wind?
The wind kicks up the pollen which activates the allergies for me – yes. Thus my addiction to Flonase.

3. Have you ever been caught in a big wind (not a hurricane or tornado)?
See above. 30 and 40 mile per hour winds at my mom’s ranch outside Baggs, Wyo was not uncommon.

4. When was the last time you flew a kite?
About four years ago. Before that maybe seven years ago when I flew them quite frequently in a vacant field across the street from my apartment.

5. Would you like to have the power of flight?

The Friday Fives

1. It’s Halloween. Do we even care?

I used to be a huge Halloweener. Costumes, parties, the Boulder Mall crawl. all of it. Now, not so much. Why? I am a grouchy old man, sure – that is part of it. But also because I have a beard – a lovely, dignified, well-maintained beard. Most costumes would involve shaving it off and frankly, in all transparency and admission of vanity, I don’t want to shave it off,

2. What is your worst Halloween memory?

While in Germany in the Army. Europeans just didn’t get the whole thing. It has definitely become an American thing – amassing candy and dressing up – not really something our German friends really understood.

3. What is your best Halloween memory?

I had a great space man costume with a mask and little space suit when I was probably 4 or 5 years old or so and although it was cold (I was probably in the a coat that covered up the costume) although I was in a coat, I remember it as a great Halloween.

4. Do you have a favorite scary/horror movie?

I don’t really watch horror movies. I don’t enjoy them at all. But thrillers – wow – “Silence of the Lambs” is one scary film and one of those cable channel surfing stoppers – when it is found on the tube I stop and watch it no matter how far along in the movie it is.

5. You get to create a song called The 12 Days of Halloween, how does a verse or two go?

On the first day of spook time my candy bag was filled with one pack of red vines.

On the second day of spook time my candy bag was filled with two boxes of yellow lemon heads.

On the third day of spook time, my candy bag was filled with lots of gobstoppers.

One pace of red vines, two boxes of lemon heads, lots of Gobstoppers!

The Friday Fives

1. If you were President of the United States, what would be your top 3 things that you would like to change?

Reverse all things Trump.

Medicare for all

Fill the courts up with liberals.

2. If you had to survive off of one specific type of food, what would it be and why?

Pizza. There are some many things you can put on pizza, it is a great utilitarian food delivery system.

3. If your life were a play, what would it be (tragedy, comedy, drama, etc.

“The Taming of the Shrew!”

4. What community is your favorite and why?

The Shire. I like the doors on their houses.

5. When did you realize you were finally an adult and how did it make you feel?

When I joined the Army and realized there was no one to bail me out of my messes.