I am off to Winterpark in about 10 minutes. Here are today’s Fives. I will answer mine on Sunday night. Enjoy.
1. What strikes your fancy: zoo, circus, carnival, county fair or parade?
I always love a parade. Zoos and circuses are kind of sad and I was always taught to distrust the carney. County fairs can come in as a good second place. Given the right circumstances, a county fair can provide excellent low brow people watching. But in the end, I must always default to a decent parade.
2. What’s your all time favorite town or city?
Man, I dug living in Stuttgart, Germany. And although I have never been there, I could easily call San Diego home, for their perfect weather and coastal beauty, plus its proximity to the border in case I need to make a quick getaway.
3. What’s the most dangerous situation you encountered? How did you handle it?
Me, the Army, basic training, loaded weapons. That about does it.
4. Describe a time when you “learned that lesson the hard way.”
Hmmm. I have had several days to think about this and still can’t pin point just one. Having gone through life blissfully not paying attention, there is a huge list of lessons that I learned the hard way. But to keep this posting on point and honest I will answer with a newspaper story, in my days as a struggling new editor in Gunnison. My boss was a drunken diabetic, usually sick on Mondya from a weekend of over indulgence. The paychecks bounced and no one on the staff seemed able to recognize that there were things wrong at the paper. I should have left after the first day rather than waiting nearly 6 months when I was eventually laid off because they couldn’t afford an additional reporter.
5. If you were booked on Letterman, what would your “Stupid Human Trick” be?
I excel at few things. Making some folks laugh at inappropriate observations, my skill at nose picking. However none of these would get me on Letterman. My trick, I suppose, would be my skilled onion slicing. I can drill down and slice and dice an onion in seconds.
1. i prefer the zoo. i do a fancy trick involving penguins that makes people laugh.
2. chicago. it is simply chock full o’ fun! and a lot of the architecture is amazing. i would move back in a second if it werent for the lousy weather. also, dublin is pretty awesome.
3. oooh man. ive been in some jams. tough to say which was most dangerous. i have usually handled them with a mean right hook.
4. i woke up this morning.
5. crying while masturbating.
1. I live in a carnival, so I prefer the zoo for an outing. And Reid’s penguin trick.
2. Firenze (Florence); amazing art, food and architecture.
3. Got to watch a gun fight on 6th & Delaware once. Neato (not).
4. Getting cut off by the parental units and having to pay the last two years of college myself (still).
5. My guppy face.
1. I love a parade. Floats, dignitaries in convertibles, the sound of a bass drum thumping in your chest. I gets me going.
2. Santa Fe. I spent so much time there in my college years, I always love getting down there to experience the art, the food, the architecture.
3. Once in ‘Nam, I was briefly captured by the Cong. Long story short, I used a pair of pantyhose, a cigarette lighter and a tampon to fashion a daisy bomb, which created enough of a distraction that I was able to run back to allied command. Whew. . .I get all antsy just talking about that.
4. As the Rev. Allanis Morissette preaches, “It’s the good advice, that you just can’t take.” And in my life, that advice was, “Don’t drink and drive.” I got caught (it’s not like we all haven’t been guilty of it). Several thousand dollars later, the case was dismissed due to evidence tampering at the DPD. I was lucky. (There’s an old saying that a court’s only task is to determine who has the better lawyer. I had the better lawyer–I was by all means I could have been found guilty of the crime, but . . .I wasn’t. And I’ve never driven drunk. Again. (cue laugh track).
5. Showing people how to tie an ascot. What the hell kind of question is that? None of my tricks are stupid.