1. Would you have one of your fingers removed if it guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?
One finger? Sure, why the hell not. Count to nine and live forever.
2. When did you last yell at someone? Why?
Tuesday. At work. I birefly lost my temper when a co worker messed with my computer. I hate hate hate losing my temper. I have a very quick, hot temper and in the moment I say terrible mean things. So I resolved years ago not to lose it – and generally I don’t.
3. Would you be willing to go to a slaughterhouse and kill a cow?
Sure, why the hell not. It is the other side of beef consumption. And I am a big fan of participatory journalism. That is how I would approach this, as a news story or something to write about – giving me the ability to distance myself from the act.
4. Would you be willing to commit perjury in court for a close friend?
Yup. If I could be assured that the lie would get no one else in trouble and if I could get away with it and not do time, sure, I would cover for someone very close to me.
5. What, if anything, is too personal to joke about?
Ha ha ha, that is a tough one for me. I have made jokes about just about everything and usually when the most inappropriate. My goal in life has always been to keep the conversation going until I hit the punch line. But. . . Never, Ever, Ever make jokes around me when talking about Steve Perry and Journey. They are sacred. Sacred, I said.
(See that was me going for the punch line.)
[I’M THE FIRST!!!!!]
1. I agree. One finger—small price to pay. I’d dull the pain with pills, booze and cigarettes.
2. Thursday at work. (DULL BUT TRUE: I had booked a meeting with one of our Information Architects to discuss a slight functionality change I needed on one of our sites. He was all like, “I don’t know what I think of that from a customer experience perspective.” To which I yelled back, “You’re a fucking AI. It’s your job to solve little problems like this!”)
3. Ummm. . . you never mentioned whatÂ’s in it for Eddie. If its for the sheer thrill of killing then no. If itÂ’s for beef, again, probably not. If the remuneration was right though, bye-bye Bossy!
4. Probably. ItÂ’s well known that my sense of morality is quite malleable. And ultimately my loyalty to my friends will [almost] always trump my loyalty to society.
5. Hmmmm. . .nothing comes to mind. It did take a while before I could make jokes about 9/11. But thatÂ’s over. I was making jokes about my fatherÂ’s death within hours of his passing, so . . . . . .I guess thereÂ’s not much that I wonÂ’t joke about.
!) My left pinky wouldn’t be missed all that much so yeah, I’d take it.
@) I yelled at other drivers in NYC on Easter Sunday.
#) I would not be willing. It’s difficult enough eating meat, I don’t need proof of where it comes from.
$) Probably not. Survival of the fittest entails avoiding breaking laws to protect a guilty friend.
%) Nothing for me, really. I make jokes about most everything & some think me callous. Oh well.
1) Take a finger! But what else can I get (or not get) for giving up a toe too?
2)I, as well, do not lose my temper much. i have a loud obnoxious voice anyway, so people think I am yelling and mad, but I am not. SO, actual yelling, probably at the little people in the little box we call television.
3) Yes. No hesitation…yes. I think it’s hypocritical to eat any sort of meat and not be able to kill what you eat. Have the lambs stopped crying Clarise?
4) been there, done that, but it was only in traffic court and he got off. So crime really does pay.
5) I have offended many people with the masochistic pedophile clown joke many of you already know, so I can’t think of anything too personal. I don’t like too offend my friends on a personal level and I have been chastised very heartily for the few times I have used the “C” word in my jokes.
1. Would you have one of your fingers removed if it guaranteed immunity from all major diseases?
Well, first I have a question for you. Would this be a surgical removal and do I get to be unconscious? If so, then yes. You may have the pinky… right hand (I play guitar). Now, if you are saying you want to lop my finger off with some rusty plyers… I change my vote to no. Fair?
2. When did you last yell at someone? Why?
does traffic count? Probably not. I don’t remember, but you can bet it was a dog. I love them, but they are often dumb and in the way. I should clarify: one is dumb, and the other is too old to move. So I yell.
3. Would you be willing to go to a slaughterhouse and kill a cow?
not really. That seems icky, and cruel. Sure, I eat animals… but not if they are looking back at me.
4. Would you be willing to commit perjury in court for a close friend?
absolutely. My friends are my family.
5. What, if anything, is too personal to joke about?
golly, I have a pretty tough skin. I am very protective of my mother because she is the greatest mom in history. So, that would be a soft spot. Oh, one other thing I guess. My given birth name is Mortimer… so I catch a lot of shit for that.
1. of course I would, howeve, at this point I would have no finger’s left;
2. I yelled at my boss because (as a legal latina) she said she would have no problems showing her papers since she was legal. I pointed out that she should shout out long, and loud because that is the first step of facsism.
3. No problem, both Roy and I grew up cutting up deer and elk carcuses. Smells like road kill, must be Fall.
4. It depends upon the severity of the crime (although I expect comlete loyalty when it comes to my alibi; otherwise “gongk.”
5. Don’t mess with my alter-ego for that could mean jail.