Friday Fives

1. What is something you should never do after age 30?

Run a hurdle relay?

Cocaine?

A big stack of pancakes with heavy butter and syrup at IHOP?

2. What celebrities never seem to age?

Paul Rudd

3. If you were eating at a restaurant and Gordon Ramsay walked in with a camera crew, what would you do?

Get up and leave.

4. What is something that most people don’t use correctly?

The apostrophe.

5. What food combination sounded gross at first, but wasn’t that bad when you tried it?

Seriously. Stay with me on this. Oatmeal > Kimchi > Sour Cream > Figs. You won’t regret this.

The Friday Fives

1. What useful unknown website do you wish more people knew about?
I have been obsessed with these two little ditties all week:
Drivenlisten uses an algorithm to grab dashcam video from youtube and matches that up with a radio station from cities and nations all over the globe to create the experience that you are driving around Amsterdam and listening to Dutch radio. It is nice to have it playing in the background while you Google cast your browser to your television.

astornaut.io is based on premise that this is what the aliens in space are watching as they observe us – again based on a youtube algorithm that grabs low to no viewer coun short videos and randomly runs through them.

2. What is a commonly held misconception that drives you up the wall every time you hear it?
Most conspiracy theories but the biggest one that really drives me up the wall are the pervasive theory that we didn’t land on the Moon – We landed on the moon, mother fuckers! pull out some binoculars or a telescope – you can see some of the trash that we left behind.

I have discovered a nice piece of Nerd-vana podcast: “I Quit Star Trek” where each week some London grad students micro-parse episodes of the various versions of ‘Trek to decide if based on the highlighted episode is worth quit watching Star Trek. From their episode, I take issue with their theory that Kirk and Spock have a deep homosexual love affair that dates back to their days at the academy.

3. What movie have you watched at least 5 times because it’s so good?
Parsing this down to just one is difficult but I will go with Casablanca, a nearly perfect film that I have written about on this blog several times before.

4.
You got a potato in your hand, what do you do with it?
Peel it and take a nice big bite out of it – I have always liked a bite or two of a raw potato. I can’t eat a ton of them but a few bites are quite earthy, sweet, and yummy.

5. What’s a movie with a great premise but a terrible execution?
Most remakes – the one that immediately comes to mind is the scene-by-scene remake of “Psychic” by Gus Van Zandt. One of my favorite directors, but he missed the boat on this one.

The Friday Fives

1. If you were forced to only watch one show in reruns, what show would be on the looping rerun reel.

Lately, I have been obsessed with a rewatch of “Lost.” Damn, it still holds up. current television I have been watching one of the worst shows I have ever seen, – S.W.A.T. on CB with Shemar Moore. I can’t stop watching it! but if I had to watch a show in reruns on a continuous loop it would be either “The Andy Giffith show (so wholesome and normal (yet can we discuss why in rural small-town North Carolina there are virtually no black folk? Kinda weird, ya think?)) If not that then may “Barney Miller” – I love that show. each episode is like a mini one-act play. There is a reason it won all the Emmys. You can find it on the Roku channel among other places. Check it out again.

2. What is a super popular TV show or movie that you can’t stand?

I never could get into three big deal shows. “Game of Thrones” was nothing more than a televised Harlequin bodice ripper. “Breaking Bad” was too damn intense for a heart patient, and I don’t do zombie shit so I never got into “The Walking Dead.” In fact, I do generally don’t do horror movies, shows, or books. I have read some Stephen King books and enjoyed “The Shining” but more for the Kubrick-ness than the horror movie aspect. While in the army, while on guard duty. We would watch a ton of movies on pirated VHS (usually shipped over family friends from the states ) or rented over at the PX. and invariably those flix were going to be horror flicks if I wasn’t quick enough to load up the weekend playlist. In fact, as I type this I realized that GIs sitting on “Charge Quarters” duty or effectually referred to as CQ might be considered the first “bingers.” In basic training, I remember a drill sergeant I was on CQ with obsessed with watching “superblocks” of broadcasts of “Soul Train” running on some Columbia, SC UHF channel on Saturdays. Anyway – “Breaking Bad,” “Walking Dead,” and “Game of Thrones. “

3. What food is actually worse when hot?

Ice Cream – Duh!

(But can we take a moment and just have a quick chat about Rand Paul’s terrible, terrible toupee? i mean really – take a look at that thing. Here is a guy – coming from a rich family – and he is/was some kind of optometrist and a rich guy on his own – that hair, that miserable toupee, is the choice he makes day after day after day. I think based on that toupee alone we should never trust his judgment on anything.)

4. French Fries? Crinkle cut, waffle cut, not peeled, standard? McDonald’s or somewhere else?

Five Guys fries are so God-damned decadent it is scary how good they are.

5. What is the worst US state and why is it Mississippi?

How can a state with all that natural beauty – a gulf coastal boundary and Faulkner be so damn obtuse and stubbornly backward? (Really, Faulkner, people. Go forth and read him. I have a few copies of “The Portable Faulkner” that I am willing to give away to anyone willing to give him a try. “As I Lay Dying ” – one of my absolute favorite books – pretty approachable by Faulkner standards (He is pretty well known for his stream of consciousness approach to the dramatic fiction narrative and for having a single sentence that can go on for pages and pages – which seems ridiculous until you take the time to read it and go back and look at the craftsmanship and realize the Nobel-worthy genius actually was quite warranted.

The Friday Fives

1. What splurge is totally worth it in your opinion?

Don’t buy cheap coffee, buy the good stuff – the morning coffee ritual deserves the respect – you’ll be happier.

2. What old-timey word do you wish we still used?

I have always liked the word “Gobsmacked.”

3. Without mentioning age or date of birth, how old are you?


I used to watch Gunsmoke reruns on tv during the day and new episodes of Gunsmoke when it aired on CBS.


4. Which celebrity could you identify just from their voice?

We play this game, starting in college, where you have to guess the celebrity voiceover for commercials. The most recent was Brian Cox for McDonalds.

5. What’s a TV series you are binging lately? what is it about?

I am just wrapping up “Psyche” and have started a rewatch of “Lost.” I think everyone knows what those two shows are about.


The Friday Fives

A potpourri:

1. You are now a professor at Supervillain University. What course do you teach?

The easy answer is the demonic laugh but I think I would teach landscape architecture for the construction of the villain lair.

2. What’s the worst attempt at a foreign accent you’ve ever seen in a movie?

Kevin Costner in Robinhood and perhaps Peter Sellars in The Pink Panther.

3. If you could name a pub on the moon, how would you name it?

The Sattelite Lounge and Lunar Brew House.

4.If you had to go for a week with no internet, how would you spend your time?

I’ve got a solid bit of books, magazines, movies and graphic novels on my Kindle or my laptop. I could make it for a week without the web

5. If you could bring back a TV show for one more season, which would it be?

Lodge 49, from AMC. The two seasons it did air are on Hulu and I highly recommend.

Friday Fives

1. What’s a hobby that’s dying in popularity?

Tatting Nobody makes their own lace anymore. What is the world coming to.

2. During lockdown did you take up a hobby?

I tried my hand and sourdough bread and have gotten pretty good at it.

3. Not that we are out and about, do you have any new interests you want to pursue?
Maybe some camping and getting up into the hilss a little more often.

4. What was ruined because too many people started doing it?

Weekend brunching – too many lines to wait in, kind of ruins the whimsy of a lazy brunch.

5. What does your crazy neighbor do to be labeled “the crazy neighbor”

They guy who lives upstairs will use the remote start mechanism on his truck each more to pre-heat or pre-cool in order to go out later to smoke a ciggire and toke his weed. I have always found that odd.