The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved

The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved “(originally published in Scanlan’s, June 1970)
Hunter S. Thompson

The Mint Julep
It is time once again to break out your tin mugs, your mint, your muddling stick, some sugar and some bourbon and begin to craft the consummate Mint Julep, that timeless drink which after about two or so, just seems to drink itself. A tradition at The Kentucky Derby, the Julep. is deceptive. Deceptive in its simplicity, deceptive in its drinkability (that first sip is a doozy, but life is pretty much excellent by the last sip.) It is not, however, deceptive in its boozeability. Saturday is the running of the 144th annual Kentucky Derby. I offer this recipe now to give you time to gather the fixings to make your Saturday afternoon a good ol’ southern’un.

Mint Julep Recipe

crushed ice
many sprigs of mint
confectioners sugar
1tbs water
a good, decent bourbon whisky
some rum

Place about six leaves or so of the mint, sugar and water in a large tumbler. Stir and press until the sugar is dissolved and flavor extracted from the mint. Fill the tumbler to the top with crushed ice. Add the whisky to about a half inch from the top. Stir vigorously. The outside of the tumbler will frost over. Add a floater of rum (an absolute necessity to set the proper mood.) Add a few more mint leaves to float on top to nuzzle and add to the sweet smell of the beverage.

Step 5: Enjoy.

Friday Fives

1. Do you believe in fate?

Not really, no.  I am not a big believer in magical things as such and instead we all are just to go with the flow.

2. If Karma was to visit you now, would it be kind or kick you in the butt?

KInd – I am decent human and nice to other cars in traffic and I smile at strangers and look them in the eye – what more can I do.  (Also, see above – there really is no such thing,)

3. Do you believe you have lived another life previous to this one?

No.  And there isn’t one on the other end of this life either. (See answer 1 above)

4. What do you believe in with an unshakable resolve?

Laughter is the most important medicine.

5. What one factor influences your life the most?

Always avoid activities, events or items that might leave a mark.

Friday Fives

1. What’s the worst thing Neil Armstrong could have said while stepping on the Moon for the first time?
Oops, missed a step there. Houston, I’ve sprained me kee for all Mainkind.

2. You’re the first astronaut to land on Mars (or another planet). What do you say?
“I’m pretty sure we should taken a left back there, yesterday.”

3. If you could wander around in outer space, where would you go?
Mercury. It is so pretty.

4. What would be the most underwhelming announcement that NASA scientists make on Monday?
“Good afternoon. We have been to space there literally no one there.”

5. If NASA came to you tomorrow and asked if you would be willing to take part in a one-way trip to establish a Martian colony would you accept?
Sure, why not. I am a single guy in my early 50s – let’s go.

Friday Fives

1. What movie can you watch over and over without ever getting tired of?
I have a handle full of movie “rewatchables” Probably a three-way tie between “The Big Lebowski,” “Casablanca,” and “The Hunt for Red October.”

2. Replace a word in a movie title with “fuck”, what’s the movie about now?
“Pulp Fiction” is now “Pulp Fuck” and is a romp through the world of 1950s snuff porn.

3. Which minor character do you wish had their own spinoff?
Pheobe Buffay – kind of a less innocent Mary Tyler Moore – in fact, that would be even greater. Put Pheobe in a small midwestern town and watch as the townspeople react to her outrageous backstory.

4. What is the biggest movie plot-hole you have ever seen?
I think it was on “The Big Bang Theory” when someone explained to Sheldon Cooper that if Indiana Jones had never left his professor job at the university, the plot of the movie would have ended the same way and he had no real effect on any of the outcomes. That was a pretty great realization.

5. What movie made you most paranoid after watching it?
“Enemy of the State with Will Smith and Gene Hackman. Solid, paranoid “it could happen” thriller

Friday Fives

Rock star deaths

Another rock star died today, and by his own hand… again. It’s time to have the talk. The big talk. The one your dad was supposed to have with you when you were 12… but he was afraid to. So, instead he just told your mom that you two had ‘the talk’ and just bought you a Penthouse from that 7-11 over at 44th & Camelback? You know, ‘scary Larry worked there overnights?’ Dude was LEGEND, and would sell ciggies and Mickey’s Big Mouth beers to anyone as long as there were no other customers in the store.

Or… am I being too specific? So let’s just finally have that ‘talk’. The ‘talk’ about rock stars dying.

1. Kurt Cobain – do you think Courtney was involved?

No, I don’t. This guy was a fucked up, depressed addict and he killed himself Next?

2. The ’27 club’, think it’s a real thing, or just a perfect example of confirmation bias?

Confirmation bias and the result of (see abovel applied to a famous too soon crowd.

3. What’s your favorite rock star death? I know that’s a sick question… let me rephrase it ‘what is the most interesting death… to you’?

The deaths of the Big Bopper, Buddy Holly and Richie Valens – The Day The Music Died. We almost lost Waylon on that one. What would have become of Outlaw Country without him? Not to mention the lovely narration of the Dukes of Hazard

4. What rock star death hit you the hardest?

Prince, probably. Didn’t see that one coming.

5. Who is the rock star that you are most surprised isn’t dead? Difficulty challenge – other than Keith Richards. Don’t be so obvious, man!

Using Mr. Richards as the gauge – i go with Iggy Pop. He has lived pretty hard and I am surprised he is still alive. A lot of the 1970s and 1980s punk stars still breathing tend to amaze me.

Questions via Lono

Go away now, Donald. Just GO AWAY


No, Donald Trump, your basic apology for the outrageously rude and sexist comments you made are not good enough.

You said in your apology that these comments were made 10 years ago and that people who know you know that is not who you are now.
This is the thing – comments made 10 years ago mean you were 60 years old. These are not some flippant statements made in his youth.

He was 60 years old at the time.

It is safe to assume that by that age he is a fully formed adult. How many folks remember their grandfather at 60 and then again at 70. Was there a big change? No. There was not. The obnoxious horrible 60 year old is the obnoxious horrible 70 year old.

Go forth, Donald and go lose this race and then go away. Take the advice of Bill Weld and go be start a successful laundry business.