The Friday Fives

1. It’s Halloween. Do we even care?

I used to be a huge Halloweener. Costumes, parties, the Boulder Mall crawl. all of it. Now, not so much. Why? I am a grouchy old man, sure – that is part of it. But also because I have a beard – a lovely, dignified, well-maintained beard. Most costumes would involve shaving it off and frankly, in all transparency and admission of vanity, I don’t want to shave it off,

2. What is your worst Halloween memory?

While in Germany in the Army. Europeans just didn’t get the whole thing. It has definitely become an American thing – amassing candy and dressing up – not really something our German friends really understood.

3. What is your best Halloween memory?

I had a great space man costume with a mask and little space suit when I was probably 4 or 5 years old or so and although it was cold (I was probably in the a coat that covered up the costume) although I was in a coat, I remember it as a great Halloween.

4. Do you have a favorite scary/horror movie?

I don’t really watch horror movies. I don’t enjoy them at all. But thrillers – wow – “Silence of the Lambs” is one scary film and one of those cable channel surfing stoppers – when it is found on the tube I stop and watch it no matter how far along in the movie it is.

5. You get to create a song called The 12 Days of Halloween, how does a verse or two go?

On the first day of spook time my candy bag was filled with one pack of red vines.

On the second day of spook time my candy bag was filled with two boxes of yellow lemon heads.

On the third day of spook time, my candy bag was filled with lots of gobstoppers.

One pace of red vines, two boxes of lemon heads, lots of Gobstoppers!

The Friday Fives

1. What fictional character has actually made you angry or upset?

In the movie “True Believer” Kurt wood Smith played such an asshole that for years, I pledged that if I were to ever cross his path, I would punch him out.

2. What historical figure fascinates you?

Napoleon. I don’t know a lot about him. But from what I have gleaned, he’s fascinating.

3. Who is just the best, the best?

Pete Rose.

4. What “Friends” character are you?

Chanandler

5. What celeb or famous person is alive today that really should be your best friend?

Bill Murray – and drinks are always on him.

The Friday Fives

1. If you had a racehorse. What would you call it?

Allegedly Letterkenny

2. Have you ever named your car/truck?

Yup.  “Trogg.”

3. Do you have a nickname? What’s the story behind it?

Wah.  Started while I was working at a call center for Ryder Trucks and my manager was a hockey mom and she started calling me Wah and it kind of stuck.  (There is also R-Dub and RW which I also answer to.)

4. Besides a nickname, what other name would you go by if you could change your name?

Pete.  A good basic, no explanation behind it necessary. A solid name – Pete.

5. If you could name a new letter in the alphabet what would it be and how/when would it be used?

Gelmon.  It lands right after Gelmon and would be used in the spelling of slurred words to make them easier to understand.

Friday Fives

1. Add Fukin’ to any band name. Which band escalates from 0 to 100 the fastest.

Fukin’ Dokken! ?

2. What’s your “I fuked up” moment?

I am so clumsy and sometimes just obtuse so there are many, but generally, I would say the entire 8 month Viasat ordeal.

3. What’s your “Here just take my fukin’ money!” product or service.

Xfinity. I just can’t seem to unplug.

4. What’s a simple fukin’ thing to do that people just don’t seem to understand?

I am a broken record on this, but Jesus Fukin’ Christo, people – use your blinkers!

5. What’s the fukin’ deal?

The only thing that I can figure is on 11/8/16 our nation suffered from a temporary psychosis. I mean really. Donald Trump was elected president. I am still stumped.

Friday Fives

1. If you could only listen to 5 musicians for the rest of your life, who would they be?

Well, I have already ranted on not liking The Doors and I guess Ryan Adams is off the list now.  So let’s see.  Springsteen, The Beatles, The Rollingstones, Tom Petty, and Perry Como (Just the Christmas stuff)

2. If you could only read 5 books for the rest of your life, who would they be?

Moby-Dick, Huckleberry Finn, Fire In August, The Book of Lists, Cryptonomicon

3. If you could only have 5 childhood memories to recall for the rest of your life, who would they be?

Hanging out in Grandpa Nall’s shed out back.  Riding around in Dad’s Jeep hunting on Great Divide. Christmas Eve while a high school freshman (I think that was the year.) Doing one of the college radio morning shows, and my first promotion in the army

4. If you could only eat 5 things for the rest of your life, who would they be?

Avocados, Romaine lettuce, raspberries, my homemade seitan loaf thingy I have created, and pistachios

5. If you could only have five words to describe the world today what would they be?

Preening president protesting processes perhaps purposely

Friday Fives

1. If you were given $5.7 billion, how would you spend the money?

Well, I wouldn’t build a wall! Maybe use it to re-boot and redesign the American health care system which is broken in multiple ways. Does anyone remember the blissful days when insurance companies were non-profit mutual insurance coops and hospitals were affordable and not overbuilt castles? Throwing a bit of $5 billion around to some politicians could probably get this thing started.

2. Does five-year-old you respect you today?

Probably not. I was supposed to end up like Rob Petry on the Dick Van Dyke show and be a professional television comedy writer.

3. What do you do now that you didn’t do five years ago?

I eat pretty cleanly and mostly vegetarian.

4. Same thing in reverse, what do you no longer do that you did five years ago?

Relatedly, I don’t eat fast food – there was a time when I ate lots and lots and lots of fast food, usually daily. Ask my heart how that went.

5. What’s the best activity you can do that costs less than $5?

Read a book from the library. Seriously people, we need to get back to reading.