The Friday Fives

1. What brand is overrated?

Starbucks. Really it’s just over roasted coffee.

2. What has absolutely no real reason for being so expensive?

Again, Starbucks. Coffee is incredibly cheap crop with a huge huge mark-up.

3. What’s an inappropriate song for a funeral?

“I want to dance with somebody.”

4. What movie title becomes the most ridiculous when you add “The Conjuring:” to the beginning of it?

“The Conjuring: Snoopy, Come Home”

5. How do you think COVID ends?

We end up getting a shot every year and in winter months live and work with masks on from now on.

The Friday Fives

1. What is your worst winter driving story?

Wow, this is a loaded question. On the 26th of December just last week or so I had a white knuckle express with white-out blizzard-like conditions from Debuque Canyon all the way down I70 to Georgetown but that isn’t my worst drive. Trogg had new tires and was driving like a champ. I popped him into 4X4 and just went slow. But having grown up and spending my life until I was 30 years old living in Colorado mountain towns. When I read this question the first thing that came to mind was a trip back to Gunnison from home in Craig after a Christmas vacation and having terrible driving conditions between Delta and Montrose on a usually nice a tame two-lane highway turned into a snow-filled wind tunnel. My poor little 4 cylinder Pontiac was no match to the wind and struggled to go forward and the wind-tossed me back and forth across the road – it was probably some of the worst 45 minutes of winter driving I have ever experienced – I have driven in lots of winter storms.

2. Do you have a “Damn, I am the boss driving in this crap!” story?

Try driving over Rabbit Ears Pass on Highway 40 coming into Steamboat during a really wicked windy winter storm and by the time you hit the 7-11 in the Springs you will say to yourself, “Damn, I am the boss driving in this crap!”

3. What is the coldest winter that you recall?

There was a really cold year in high school. I think I was a freshman or a sophomore. I wasn’t driving yet. And it was -30 degrees below zero. And we still went to school and no classes were canceled. Different times.

4. When is the latest in the year snowfall you recall?

I have seen snow in July in the Colorado mountains.

5. How bad does stupid cold weather give you stupid cabin fever?

Before the quarantine shutdown, there were some really dark “get me out of here days.” But I am so so homebound now that staying in all the damn time seems kind of normal now.

The Phyllis Diller is Not Dead 2023 Celebrity Dead Pool

Hey folks, the year is quickly coming to a close and it is time to get those dead pool candidate lists together.
The 18th year of this fine event is just around the corner. Start making your list of names now and take part in this wholesome past-time.  It lasts for the whole year.
What is it we are talking about?

A celebrity dead pool for the year 2022.

(Please feel free to forward to whomever you think might also want to play.)
Submit directly to [ iamcorrect@gmail.com and/or  majikwah@gmail.com]

On Jan 1, 2023, the winner is announced.

The Rules:
Any deaths must be recorded by an Associated Press biography or an announcement from CelebrityDeathBeeper.com

All entries must be received by 12/31/10 at midnight. In the event
that a name on your list dies between 12/31/21 midnight and 01/01/22
12:01 the alternate name on your list moves on to the list.  (Late submissions through January will be accepted, however only 8 names and no alternative will count.) Points are awarded for the following:

Age of the dead (oldest- least points * youngest -most points.):
Oldest 4 points
Youngest 6 points
Active deaths
First corpse – 4 points
Last corpse – 5 points
Most names on the list – 18 points per list.
Suicide – 10 points
Under 65 – 4 points
Under 55 – 4 points (in addition to the under 65 points awarded.)
(The MJ clause)
If you personally kill a celebrity to increase your point-scoring,
you are disqualified.
(The Schiavo Clause.)
No points for any deaths whose only act of dying made them famous. This means the oldest man or woman alive won’t get points. It also means that a famous illness to an otherwise stranger, resulting in death wouldn’t count as a celebrity dead pool death.
(Can’t Get Crap Together Rule)
Late submissions through January will be accepted, however only 8 names count.

Resources

Where to find names:  Stiffs  (click on the standings link and get some ideas for those who didn’t pass this year )

The dead people server – lookup to see if someone is still alive.

Celebrity Death Beeper – sign up for an email alert when a celebrity passes.

Friday Fives

1. What is something you should never do after age 30?

Run a hurdle relay?

Cocaine?

A big stack of pancakes with heavy butter and syrup at IHOP?

2. What celebrities never seem to age?

Paul Rudd

3. If you were eating at a restaurant and Gordon Ramsay walked in with a camera crew, what would you do?

Get up and leave.

4. What is something that most people don’t use correctly?

The apostrophe.

5. What food combination sounded gross at first, but wasn’t that bad when you tried it?

Seriously. Stay with me on this. Oatmeal > Kimchi > Sour Cream > Figs. You won’t regret this.

The Friday Fives

1. What useful unknown website do you wish more people knew about?
I have been obsessed with these two little ditties all week:
Drivenlisten uses an algorithm to grab dashcam video from youtube and matches that up with a radio station from cities and nations all over the globe to create the experience that you are driving around Amsterdam and listening to Dutch radio. It is nice to have it playing in the background while you Google cast your browser to your television.

astornaut.io is based on premise that this is what the aliens in space are watching as they observe us – again based on a youtube algorithm that grabs low to no viewer coun short videos and randomly runs through them.

2. What is a commonly held misconception that drives you up the wall every time you hear it?
Most conspiracy theories but the biggest one that really drives me up the wall are the pervasive theory that we didn’t land on the Moon – We landed on the moon, mother fuckers! pull out some binoculars or a telescope – you can see some of the trash that we left behind.

I have discovered a nice piece of Nerd-vana podcast: “I Quit Star Trek” where each week some London grad students micro-parse episodes of the various versions of ‘Trek to decide if based on the highlighted episode is worth quit watching Star Trek. From their episode, I take issue with their theory that Kirk and Spock have a deep homosexual love affair that dates back to their days at the academy.

3. What movie have you watched at least 5 times because it’s so good?
Parsing this down to just one is difficult but I will go with Casablanca, a nearly perfect film that I have written about on this blog several times before.

4.
You got a potato in your hand, what do you do with it?
Peel it and take a nice big bite out of it – I have always liked a bite or two of a raw potato. I can’t eat a ton of them but a few bites are quite earthy, sweet, and yummy.

5. What’s a movie with a great premise but a terrible execution?
Most remakes – the one that immediately comes to mind is the scene-by-scene remake of “Psychic” by Gus Van Zandt. One of my favorite directors, but he missed the boat on this one.

The Friday Fives

1. If you were forced to only watch one show in reruns, what show would be on the looping rerun reel.

Lately, I have been obsessed with a rewatch of “Lost.” Damn, it still holds up. current television I have been watching one of the worst shows I have ever seen, – S.W.A.T. on CB with Shemar Moore. I can’t stop watching it! but if I had to watch a show in reruns on a continuous loop it would be either “The Andy Giffith show (so wholesome and normal (yet can we discuss why in rural small-town North Carolina there are virtually no black folk? Kinda weird, ya think?)) If not that then may “Barney Miller” – I love that show. each episode is like a mini one-act play. There is a reason it won all the Emmys. You can find it on the Roku channel among other places. Check it out again.

2. What is a super popular TV show or movie that you can’t stand?

I never could get into three big deal shows. “Game of Thrones” was nothing more than a televised Harlequin bodice ripper. “Breaking Bad” was too damn intense for a heart patient, and I don’t do zombie shit so I never got into “The Walking Dead.” In fact, I do generally don’t do horror movies, shows, or books. I have read some Stephen King books and enjoyed “The Shining” but more for the Kubrick-ness than the horror movie aspect. While in the army, while on guard duty. We would watch a ton of movies on pirated VHS (usually shipped over family friends from the states ) or rented over at the PX. and invariably those flix were going to be horror flicks if I wasn’t quick enough to load up the weekend playlist. In fact, as I type this I realized that GIs sitting on “Charge Quarters” duty or effectually referred to as CQ might be considered the first “bingers.” In basic training, I remember a drill sergeant I was on CQ with obsessed with watching “superblocks” of broadcasts of “Soul Train” running on some Columbia, SC UHF channel on Saturdays. Anyway – “Breaking Bad,” “Walking Dead,” and “Game of Thrones. “

3. What food is actually worse when hot?

Ice Cream – Duh!

(But can we take a moment and just have a quick chat about Rand Paul’s terrible, terrible toupee? i mean really – take a look at that thing. Here is a guy – coming from a rich family – and he is/was some kind of optometrist and a rich guy on his own – that hair, that miserable toupee, is the choice he makes day after day after day. I think based on that toupee alone we should never trust his judgment on anything.)

4. French Fries? Crinkle cut, waffle cut, not peeled, standard? McDonald’s or somewhere else?

Five Guys fries are so God-damned decadent it is scary how good they are.

5. What is the worst US state and why is it Mississippi?

How can a state with all that natural beauty – a gulf coastal boundary and Faulkner be so damn obtuse and stubbornly backward? (Really, Faulkner, people. Go forth and read him. I have a few copies of “The Portable Faulkner” that I am willing to give away to anyone willing to give him a try. “As I Lay Dying ” – one of my absolute favorite books – pretty approachable by Faulkner standards (He is pretty well known for his stream of consciousness approach to the dramatic fiction narrative and for having a single sentence that can go on for pages and pages – which seems ridiculous until you take the time to read it and go back and look at the craftsmanship and realize the Nobel-worthy genius actually was quite warranted.

The Friday Fives

1. What splurge is totally worth it in your opinion?

Don’t buy cheap coffee, buy the good stuff – the morning coffee ritual deserves the respect – you’ll be happier.

2. What old-timey word do you wish we still used?

I have always liked the word “Gobsmacked.”

3. Without mentioning age or date of birth, how old are you?


I used to watch Gunsmoke reruns on tv during the day and new episodes of Gunsmoke when it aired on CBS.


4. Which celebrity could you identify just from their voice?

We play this game, starting in college, where you have to guess the celebrity voiceover for commercials. The most recent was Brian Cox for McDonalds.

5. What’s a TV series you are binging lately? what is it about?

I am just wrapping up “Psyche” and have started a rewatch of “Lost.” I think everyone knows what those two shows are about.