1. What’s your worst landlord story.
My landlord in college was a professor at the school and she owned this little house that had three apartments. She was a total wack job and the house was a bit of a pit. She was concerned that a house of college students was playing the stereo too much and had too many televisions and computers going – not for the reasons you might assume – distractions, takes you away from your studies, etc . .. , but instead, she thought they used too much electricity and we should probably try to go without. College students, going without music, television and video games. Wacky lady.
2. What canceled tv show do you miss?
Sports Night – an Aaron Sorkin show with amazing, crisp writing. And the X Files – what a fun premise. Mulder is still out there, looking for the truth.
3. Tells us a little about your home country. (Question stolen from an ESL study site. What fun this will be.)
Messovania – A less than tiddy, but completely harmless country, cluttered across the hills of southeast Europe. We speak the language of vodka and beer and serve cookies and leftovers for breakfast.
4. What are your top five traffic rants?
The tendancy to come to a complete stop before making a right turn!
No use of blinkers when changing lanes, especially in freeway traffic.
That overpolite old guy at a stop sign who insists on waving other folks through, rather than going through himself.
No alleys in suburbs! Where the hell are the short cuts! (I also hate alleys in the city that are fenced off from traffic.
Parking lots with direction markers to herd the cars into parking places with one way traffic.
5. A person who does not like you and would have something to say, might say what?
Roy is flippant, will say just anything and talks to damn loud! It wouldn’t kill him to do a sit up!
!) Our “landlord” at Lowry keeps bugging me for money even though I don’t owe them anything. This also happened frequently whilst we lived there.
@) I miss Andy Richter Controls the Universe.
#) My home country is large.
$) 1. Match the speed of highway traffic whilst you’re getting on said highway.
2. Use your signal anytime you’re going to turn or switch lanes.
3. Slow down when the roads are questionable.
4. Do not tailgate.
5. Turn your lights on at dawn & dusk even though you may be able to see the road.
%) This has been said: “Tell them you’re just going to break their hearts before they fall in love with you, you cocksucking bastard!” His loss.
1) Jesus freaks owning an old house apartment conversion right behind Smiley’s Laundromat. They really thought they could raise the rent in that shit hole and treat the tenants like dirt. So my lawyer had a speak-about with them and they went back to church and left me alone.
2) Buffy.
3) Oh, the land of Milk & Honey of course.
4) “Non-merging Mother F%*@#*’s!”
“Left lane slow driving sons of bitches!”
“Cigarette-butt tossin’ scum sucking vermin!”
“Cell-phone talkin’ moron!”
“Crappy old car drivin’, oil smokin’ smellin’ up my drive, syphlis dripping butt sores!”
5)Over-bearing, controlling, but damn he’s a fine looking gent.
1. I donÂ’t really have one.
2. CanÂ’t think of one.
3. Uptightistan: Capable of fomenting even the smallest issue into an anxiety producing crisis. Impeccably neat and clean. The trains run on time, hell. . . .everything runs on time. OneÂ’s status is determined by oneÂ’s shoes and hairstyle.
4. My top peeve is the “Denver Left Turn,” wherein the motorist will practically shut down a major thoroughfare (e.g., University Blvd.) in order to facilitate a left turn—-no matter if there’s a turn lane two blocks further down. Second, the “Turn Signals are Optional” practice of most Denver drivers. Third, young male drivers in riced-out POS’s who drive recklessly. Fourth, people who park way too goddamned close to me. Fifth, cell phone talkin’ motorists. . . .STFU and drive!
5. “He’s totally unfriendly, has a giant ego, and practically lives to put people down.” (Of course all of that’s true. . .but it only scratches the surface.)
1. Easily the Lowry Landlord….for lots of reasons. it still causes me stress.
2. HBOs the Comeback and Carnival.
3. I’m the tyranical ruler of my home country.
4. a. tailgating is stupid
b. use a turn signal, but not four blocks before you turn
c. use a turn signal to change lanes
d. be nice and remember there are 100,000s of cars on the road
e. a car is a device to get from a to b, it’s not your penis…..
5. Thom is egotistical and lost in a dream world of batman and superman.
1. Polly and I endured “The Dragon Lady.” This Korean woman was truly crazy and insisted on coming into our house with no notice and frequently incited screaming matches. We loved our house, but she made it uncomfortable to live there, never knowing what she would pull on us.
2. Six Feet Under and X Files
3. My interior landscape is alternately chaotic and soothing. Passports are required.
4. People driving too close to the sides of me (driving up 14th or down 8th in particular), tailgaters and people who are more interested in talking on their phone, applying makeup and/or eating than driving.
5. “Jenn is nice enough, but she tells the same stories over and over.”