Category: Friday Fives

1. Given a choice, and imagining that money and time were no object, would you rather cook dinner, eat out or order in?
I would rather cook it, but recently, I have been doing too much eating out and far too little kitchen experimenting. That being said, I have a pot of green chili going in the kitchen right now.

2. What is the most elaborate meal you’ve ever prepared yourself or purchased at a restaurant?
A full Thanksgiving dinner in my first kitchen in Denver. A galley sized apartment kitchen and a full meal, including a 20 pound turkey. The scope of the meal and area in which it was prepped made the entire meal rather elaborate.

3. What food do you find yourself making and/or eating way too much?
I usually eat too much Mexican food and/or Sushi when I eat out. Snack wise, I can inhale a bag of Red Vines candy.

4. What was your most disastrous cooking/eating out experience?
There are many disasters, however I think my simple attempt at boiling water in the tea kettle – resulting in a kitchen fire is perhaps the topper. I turned on the kettle then went to my computer one fine morning years ago. I didn’t know, however, that I turned on the wrong burner and as it heated up, it melted a plastic cake holder that was sitting too close the burner. Slowly, the cake holder began to smolder and melt, filling the house with flame and kitchen. I was rocking to tunes in the other room, woefully unaware. Then Bruno, the wonder dog, began barking at me, very frantic. I got up to see what he was complaining about and there it was, a kitchen fire. A quick squirt with the fire extinguisher it was out and except for a small warp in the white Formica counter top, and some smoke damage on the walls, no real damage. Thankfully the dog pays attention.

5. Would you rather cook for someone else or have them cook for you?
I love cooking for someone else. Better yet, cooking with other people. A kitchen full of people cooking together is fun.

1. It was the great musical philosophers Donny and Marie that posed the juxtapostiion: “I’m a little bit country, I’m alittle bit rock and roll. Which are you?
After spending several days and the ranch and in Baggs, Wy. this week, I think I have to go with a little bit country. Although, while at the ranch and cooking in the kitchen with mom, I was rocking out to a greatest hits of the 70s CD, which is a little bit rock and roll.

2. What’s your shoe size? Do you think you have big feet or little?
I am a 9 or 9.5 in shoes. And odd size for a dude. I think I have little feet. But it makes buying shoes at the discount shoe place easy because my size usually has some great mark downs. (Wow, did that just sound so Sex in the City.)

3. Would you rather slap the Pope with a dead fish or play pinochle with the Mona Lisa?
The Mona is such a stick in the mud. Just sitting around all day, with a shit eating grin. I would not be keen on spending time with her. The Pope needs good slap, so I am going with the aggressive violence, rather than the social gaming choice.

4. What was the first video/computer game your remember playing?
Atari. Pong. We had a nice little system for many years. A few years back I bought an original Atari Pong game off of eBay. Wow, how far we have come when you compare the playing experience of Pong to that of Grand Theft Auto Miami Vice. Those Vice dudes would just eat up that little Pong paddle. It wouldn’t even stand a chance.

5. What’s your favorite movie line? Why?
Maude: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

I really enjoy the Great Lebowski. What a fun, senseless movie. The ability to make a great caper flick out of such loser characters is truly remarkable. I loves me a good caper.

1. It is the fall television season. What are your favorite shows. (And, no, you don’t get to bow out with some fancy “I don’t watch teevee, I am far to busy – that’s BS, I know most of you – give it up what’s your secret television indulgence?)
I am a glutton for television. It is always on. I work evenings so I have few television series addictions that I watch each week. HBO’s “The Wire” is on the list. As is “Deadwood.” Both shows are amazingly well written and have very complicated characters. For indulgence, I go with “House” and “Psych,” usually in reruns on the USA network. No thought, just television candy.

2. I dig Fall and the autumn season. What’s your favorite part about fall?
I am not a fan of Hot. Growing up in mountain communities, as well as going to college in mountain communities, I am more comfortable when temperatures are in the mid to lower 70s. In Colorado, we don’t get the full season changes like out east or further west. One day, Boom, you look up and realize hey all the leaves are gone from the trees. But I do love jumping into a big old pile of recently raked leaves (I don’t, however, enjoy raking up the leaves to begin with.)

3. Would you rather be the world’s greatest rhythm gymnast or the last man off the bench for the LA Clippers.
I suck at BBall and have very little patience for the sport. That being said, I am barely aware of rhythm gymnastics. For purile interest, I go with the gymnast. I have a better chance of winning the Olympics than I do with basketball.

4. Cleaning the fridge this week I realized I have a peculiar amount of condiments. What is your favorite jelly/ toast spread.
Because of my new diet and lifestyle changes I am trying to make, I am trying to forego my addiction to raspberry preserves. I have recently discovered Toffuti’s Tofu based Cream Cheese. Before you wrinkle up your face, give it a shot. It is sweeter than regular cream cheese and on a toasted bagel it is hard to tell the difference. And cholesterol free!

5. Football time. Some of us actually like it. Some of us like it a lot. Favorite football tradition/good luck ritual?
About three or so times a year I tend to gather at a friends home to watch a game or two with a room full of people – great time. As a ritual, I think that as long as Sunday football begins with breakfast at the Bull and Bush and ample amounts of double screwdrivers, the rest of gameday tends to take care of itself.

1. What is your favorite kind of Sushi?
Red Tuna. I loves the tuna, baby.

2. As a child did you take any kind of musical lessons?
I struggled through organ lessons, piano lessons and banjo lessons. I am now kicking myself for not taking them more seriously.

3. Would you rather: have a lake named after you? or have a poplular children’s multi vitamin shaped in your image?
Lake Roy has a good ring to it. But to be share shelf space with Flintstone vitamins and perhaps have a Saturday morning cartoon commericial of my image – that is winning the lottery.

4. Do you say goodbye quickly or slowly?
I try for a quick goodbye. This question reminds me of conversations on the phone with my mother and it takes me four or more attempts at goodbye to end the conversation. I hae come to find that endearing.

5. Finish the joke: Five guys walk into a bar, . . .
. . . and the penguin that followed them, he just waddled.
– or –
. . . and not a one of them was a priest, a rabbi or Muslim.

1. Do you have any Labor Day traditions?
Not really, my mother and Jim have organized an annual Labor Day family reunion for Jim’s family at the cabin but I have only gone 2 of the last 5 years, due to work scheduling conflicts. I will try in the next few years to make this a tradition as it is a great way to end the summer in the mountains.

2. What is your favorite Karaoke song (via Bug.)
Heh. Tiny Dancer? (see below.) But seriously, Karaoke is hard and a song you like may not be a song easy to sing. That said, I enjoy singing Christmas songs in a Willie Nelson like voice while driving in my car. Maybe in a karaoke spirit, that will be my ouvre to choose from.

3. Do you fancy a hat?
I have to wear a hat outdoors in the summer. A thining head of hair and the desire not be sunburned requires it. So, the answer is, yes.

4. Would you rather take a power drill in the Adam’s apple or fill your pants with raw meat and kick a pit pull in the side?
I am not keen to dog bites, but I figure I survive a better chance out running fido as he yips at my mid section than I would a severe cut to my jugular. I pick dog.

5. Since adolescence, in what three-year period do you feel you experienced the most personal growth and change?
The three year (well actually three and a half year) period when I returned to college after the Army. Wow, after I wrote that I probably should have dropped back one life event and gone with my three year enlistment in the Army as my big personal growth period.

1. What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day?
A trip to the men’s room and then pour myself a steaming cup of coffee.

2. What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed?
A check of the email and some reading in bed.

3. What daily routine have you recently added to your day?
Exercise. I have begun to walk each day, either at lunch or before work.

4. What routine do you wish you could get rid of?
Working each day. There must be a way not to have to go to work each day!

5. What’s the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don’t do it some point within your day?
Eating something raspberry. Raspberries are a separate food group, for God’s sake. I take steps to ensure I have gotten some some how each day.

1. Where’s your favorite spot to watch the sunrise? Sunset?
Sunset – At Mom’s ranch on the front porch. Sunrise – at the campground at the Gates of Ladore in Browns Park.

2. What’s your favorite smell?
Vanilla and to cheat and offer up two – tea tree oil.

3. When did you get your first traffic ticket?
I was just barely 16 years old and speeding through a parking lot and a cop was watching me and waiting for me when I popped out of the lot.

4. Are you a high maintenance person?
Me? High maintenance? I think most folks would say that I am not high maintenance.

5. What things make you procrastinate.?
Just about anything will make me procrastinate. I am the king of wishy washy excuses and “something shiny” distractions that keep me from getting what I am supposed to get done. That, television and the internet – big procrastination causers.

1. Dessert: Pie or Cake? Why.
I am a pie kind of guy. The succulent filling, the crispy and flaky crust. A feast for any dessert fan. Bring out the pie.

2. Are you any good at Frisbee?
Generally, things in a thrown and caught category are not things I excel at. I have terrible hand eye coordination and am incredibly clumsy. Running along to catch a flying disc will make for some great hijinx and perhaps a great video for America’s Favorite Home Videos. (Did you know that show was still on the air? I caught it accidentally on Sunday. It is the kind of show that if you happen to land on it, you are compelled to watch, unable to change the channel. However, if asked, you tell people that you are not a fan, that it isn’t a great show, it’s just okay. I can’t figure it out. I think it is the kittens.)

3. Have you ever disliked someone for being luckier than you?
Most people know of my significant disliking of Rev. Ed, he of the Holy Church. The Rev. is indeed a lucky sole. With his $200 million lottery winnings, he is always inviting us over to watch television in his new “Price is Right Showcase Showdown” media room, while eating his chocolate chip cookies, which won the Pillsbury Bakeoff, year after year. We tool around in his “Publisher’s Clearinghouse” Porsche Roadster where we go to the liquor store to buy more lottery tickets, the winnings from which he uses to buy my friendship with booze.

4. If you had the ability and opportunity to compete in the Olympics, which event would it be?
Quoits. Once a grand Olympic Sport, it left the games late in the last century. Basically, Quoits is ring toss. I love the idea of Ring Toss as an Olympic sport.

5. When “the tooth fairy” “came,” what was usually left?
In the house where I grew up there was a system of barter used to pay off the tooth “fairy” – (Hardly a fairy. He was a huge butch looking guy, often mistaken for Mr. Clean or a pirate – we lived in a small remote desert mountain village and didn’t always get the best casting.) It depended on what tooth was left that would determine what money was left under the pillow. Apparently the “fairy” had a few enamal targets he was tasked with meeting and devised a system of rewards for molars and bigger teeth with lots of surface area, and lesser rewards for smaller teeth.

1. Are you named after anyone? If so, explain.
I am named after a great grandfather, William Roy. Middle name of great grandfather and middle name of grandfather.

2. Do you have your children’s names picked out already? If so, is there any significance?
Ignacio and Ulysses.
3. If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name have been?
Ann. I think that is what mom told me one.

4. If you could re-name yourself what name would you pick and why?
John. I have always liked that name.

5. Are there any mispronunciations/typos that people do w/ your name constantly?
My last name is always misspelled and missprounced. It is four simple letters but apparently very, very tricky.

1. Fast forward to your life in 5 years – what do you see?
Thinner, healthier, still working, perhaps at current job but maybe in a different role. Homeowner?

2. How much trouble were you in during your school days.
Not, much. I was a pretty good kid. Busy in school activities and in Boy Scouts, I kept my nose pretty clean throughout school.

3. How convinced are you that the sun will rise tomorrow?
Absolutely the sun will come up. When the end of the world comes, and it isn’t for a long time to come, there won’t be some magical dousing of the lights and then boom, darkness and nothing. When the end comes it will be a geological process taking many, many years and we will see it coming years in advance.

4. What spells adventure for you?
G. I. Joe – A real American hero!

5. If you could be invisible for the day, what would you do.
Obvious answer involves lockerrooms and dressing rooms but on a more grown up tangent, I think a first hand observation of a day in the Oval Office to see how fearless leader handles the crisis of the day.