1. It was the great musical philosophers Donny and Marie that posed the juxtapostiion: “I’m a little bit country, I’m alittle bit rock and roll. Which are you?
After spending several days and the ranch and in Baggs, Wy. this week, I think I have to go with a little bit country. Although, while at the ranch and cooking in the kitchen with mom, I was rocking out to a greatest hits of the 70s CD, which is a little bit rock and roll.
2. What’s your shoe size? Do you think you have big feet or little?
I am a 9 or 9.5 in shoes. And odd size for a dude. I think I have little feet. But it makes buying shoes at the discount shoe place easy because my size usually has some great mark downs. (Wow, did that just sound so Sex in the City.)
3. Would you rather slap the Pope with a dead fish or play pinochle with the Mona Lisa?
The Mona is such a stick in the mud. Just sitting around all day, with a shit eating grin. I would not be keen on spending time with her. The Pope needs good slap, so I am going with the aggressive violence, rather than the social gaming choice.
4. What was the first video/computer game your remember playing?
Atari. Pong. We had a nice little system for many years. A few years back I bought an original Atari Pong game off of eBay. Wow, how far we have come when you compare the playing experience of Pong to that of Grand Theft Auto Miami Vice. Those Vice dudes would just eat up that little Pong paddle. It wouldn’t even stand a chance.
5. What’s your favorite movie line? Why?
Maude: What do you do for recreation?
The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.
I really enjoy the Great Lebowski. What a fun, senseless movie. The ability to make a great caper flick out of such loser characters is truly remarkable. I loves me a good caper.
1. You know how I like to have things both ways–I’m a little bit country, and a little bit rock and roll. In the car, and at occasional concerts, I’ll hearken back to my rural roots, and enjoy *good* country (not that Nashville crap that passes for country these days). However, the songs that go through my head, the radio stations and CDs I listen to, are all various kinds of rock–a lot of pop/punk, which keeps me youthful.
2. A perfect 10. That’s pretty average, I think. (Although is it just me, or are kids enormous these days? I think that size 13,14,15, are becoming more and more the norm).
3. Slapping the pope with a flounder has such a wonderful surreal, Dadaist quality about it, that I simply couldn’t pass up the opportunity. It’s my understanding that Pope Constantine (or whatever his name is) has a good sense of humor, and likes to drink. He’d probably forget it ever happened once he slept off his bender.
4. I remember playing Pong a few times when I was quite little. The first game I *played* was Pac-Man. I memorized the patterns, hoarded quarters, dreamed about it, and even suffered from Pac-Elbow. I was addicted. I’m no longer much of a gamer, because as an adult I feel games are a waste of time. However, I do have an inkling of an understanding of why people become addicted to the fantasy worlds they provide.
5. This one’s hard. I have many, many favorite movies, and picking one line is hard. Not really my *favorite*, but it came to mind:
Fozzie: Ahhhh. . . . .A bear in his natural habitat.
Kermit: The forest?
Fozzie: No–a Studebaker.
Or. . . . .
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he did not exist. And like that… he is gone .â€
Friday Fives
1. It was the great musical philosophers Donny and Marie that posed the juxtapostiion: “I’m a little bit country, I’m a little bit rock and roll. Which are you? Well, let’s talk about this. Get comfortable, because music is the language I speak. For all my life I would have told you; rock and roll. I would have told you that country is stupid, gay, over-produced, and insincere. In the last few years I have changed my ways greatly. Roy has turned me onto so much amazing music, as I have done the same for him. I can’t imagine leaving the house now without: Willie Nelson, John Prine, Johnny Cash, the Little Willies, and Dwight Yokam (sp?). Long story short, the original country… which is more folk music than asshats doing Ford commercials… is often profoundly great music.
Here is a test. How can I tell if it is good country, or just cheeseball over produced corporate drivel? Good question! The first and best secret is how ugly are they? I am serious. Before videos, country music was told by old ugly drunken bastards who lived hard lives. If your country guy is uglier than your grandmother… you may have a star!
2. What’s your shoe size? Do you think you have big feet or little? my shoe size is 8 in mens. Stop giggling, I know I have tiny feet. How tiny? My wife and I share shoes, true story. What does that mean? It doesn’t mean I have a small dick (the huge Ford in the driveway tells you that)… it says we are smart shoppers and I am slightly emasculated. Maybve we could keep this a secret, eh?
3. Would you rather slap the Pope with a dead fish or play pinochle with the Mona Lisa? two things on that: I love to fish, and I have no idea how to play pinocle. Instead, I offer a great Pope joke > this old preacher was out fishing with one of his young stable boys. The preacher lands this monster fish, a total beauty. He says to the boy “look at that sonnuvabitch!” the boy is taken aback and corrects the preacher. The preacher, trying to cover his tracks says “no, that is the kind of fish it is… a sonnuvabitch!. So they take it back to the monestary and have the nuns cook it up for the big Pope visit that night… and the legend grows about the true name of the beautiful fish. The Nun serves the Pope, and says “your Holiness, I carry to you this sonnuvabitch”. the server says “and I prepared this sonnuvabitch for you”. The cook then comes out and says “your holiness, I cooked the sonnuvabitch”. So the Pope looks up and says “Know what? You fuckers are alright!”
4. What was the first video/computer game your remember playing? choplifter. It was a rudimentary, single color, single dimension, DOS based game I learned on an old IBM. The premise was all these crappy stick figures were in a house fire and you had to medivac them away from the ground in this crappy helicopter. Problem was, if you loaded too many crappy stick figures onto one crappy helicopter, it would crash. Also, if you waited too long… the crappy stick figures would burn on the ground. There was a true sense of urgency in getting these crappy stickfigures to safety. Oh, and this was before Pong and Asteroids. Don’t believe me? Click here, I found a screen cap of it.
5. What’s your favorite movie line? Why?Oy, I too am a movie dork with too much in my head. Most of my arsenal comes from ‘Fish Called Wanda’ or ‘Princess Bride’. Ok, here it is. This is expletive ridden, and you should probably skip it. This piece is an exchange between Otto and Archie Leesh from Fish Calle Wanda:
interesting note on that. Kevin Kline won best supporting actor Oscar for that role. Name another time a comic role won the Oscar? Even better trivia: the audio of that exact scene was the greeting on my answering maching in college for exactly two days. It was meant to amuse my buddies. Problem is, my mother called and heard that and was profoundly NOT amused. I removed it immediately.
1) I’m a little bit country and a whole lot of Rock and Mother F’n ROLL!
2) 12…Big Daddy…12. I have the most friggin’ common size for men and it sucks when looking for those discounted shoes Roy gets to select from at his leisure.
3) I have come to enjoy a good game of Pinochle and Mona is one hot momma.
4) I am a big vidiot from way back. I played pong, then super pong, then moved into Space Invaders at the local bars, then home Atari, then Intellivision, then No-Friendo, then you name it I now have upgraded to the latest stuff out there. Yes, thank you…I am a nerd who plays video games in his basement. No, I don’t download porn…too busy playing video games.
5) Too much time…too little to do. Stop! Reverse that. (Pretty much anything Willy Wonka is gold.). Also like “Stay gold Pony Boy.”
How can you still want to know even the oddest detail about me? But for fun, and because I am in a seriously shitty mood today, I will answer your questions.
I am more than a little bit Rock and Roll.
My feet used to be a delicate 7.5 but since I had children I feel more comfortable in an 8.
I’m all about hanging with Da Vinci. So deal me in with the Mona Lisa.
Did anyone other than I ever play Crystal Castles. It had these little Teddy Bears that went around gathering crystals. It was super girly. It didn’t have a joystick…just a giant roller ball in the middle of the game? Anyone? Anyone…?
I’d be hard pressed to choose a movie line…
“As you wish”
“If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball”
“We’re gonna get our taints handed to us, that’s what!”
“My answer is being yes”
I could play this game all day! Now it’s your turn. Name those films and I’ll send you a prize!
(I miss your face today.)
Tony Mo…I miss your face too
!) I’m more inclined towards rock ‘n’ roll, I think. Currently playing in an office I share with other people is a Soft Pink Truth song with a sample proclaiming, “Jesus was a cocksucking Jew.” I suppose you could place said sample in a country song & given the current climate, I’m certain most of America would scream, “Dogdamn those Dixie Chicks!”
@) I wear a size 8 & given that I’m 6’2″ I’d say I’ve abnormally small feet.
#) I’d rather slap the pope with the fish simply because the idea makes me smirk like the Mona Lisa.
$) I remember being trapped in Kansas for the blizzard of ’81 or ’82 & playing some hand held Donkey Kong thing.
%) Willy Wonka: “MUMBLER!”
1.) If I had to choose, I’d say Rock ‘n’ Roll although my roots are grounded in both.
2.) I wear a 9 or 9 1/2 depending on the designer’s idea of what a “9” is. As I’m 5’9″, I think my feet are freakishly large……….and we all know what THAT implies 🙂
3.) Slapping the Pope with a dead, rotting fish would easily make my Best Moments of My Life list. And it would likely be my last moment as well, as I’m sure Pope Palpatine would go all Emperor on my ass and sizzle me blacker than a tar-baby.
4.) Pong. Then I discovered Asteroids whilst in Toronto as a wee lad. I then went through all the subsequent upgrades. I usually go on month-long benders and then let my Xbox collect dust for a few months before dusting it off. I love games though. What’s NOT too like? You get to shoot, mame and disembowel all manner of things! There’s nothing like hopping in an AT-AT and opening a can of whoop-ass on a bunch of pussy-ass rebels. DIE REBEL BITCHES, DIE!!!!
5.) Favorite movie line that jumps to mind:
I haven’t kept the Great Bitch in the keep for ten years out of passionate attachment.
From the Lion in Winter
1. I seem so rock n’ roll, living in LA and all, but that’s not quite me. And, although I went to my first Alpaca farm last week, I’m still not all country. Another point in the case of me being the long lost love child of the dynamic duo (Donny & Marie that is, not Batman & Robin).
2) I was cursed with canoes for feet. I’m the shortest female in the fam yet have the largest feet. Mom says that’s why I’m so grounded, I say mom’s bad a compliments.
3) Tough call, I always jump at the chance to belittle the highly overrated. With my fish slapping & pinocle skills, they’d both be pretty sorry.
4) My best friend lived next door neighbor and had ColecoVision (those two things explain why she was my BF). Anyhow, we used to play Burgertime and I rocked it as Chef Peter Pepper.
5) Harold: You sure have a way with people.
Maude: Well, they’re my species!
1) I would rather chew on tin foil than listen to country! (Johnny Cash excluded)
2)13 Clown feet to go with my clown hair.
3) Slap the poe so hard the post hole digger hat flys across the room!
4) celecovision baseball at a friends house.
5) Oh Shit where do I begin……
You don’t know the power of the dark side!
Wanna go pretty boy?
I’m fuckin dying you asshole!
Hey Peter, take care of your corn hole buddy.
I could go on and on andon and on and on and on……..