1. What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?
I may have written about this before, but I like to wrap a Pringles potato chip in a leaf of iceberg lettuce and make a crispy “unwich”; the salt, the sweet, and the crunch are satisfying. I also like uncooked egg noodles “raw,” But that is just weird.
2. What would a world populated by clones of you be like?
That is a lot of people making a lot of out loud, inane observations and bad attempts at jokes all the time. As well as a world of pretty clumsy people.
3. What inanimate object would be the most annoying if it played loud upbeat music while being used?
The dishwasher. We have a nice, quiet dishwasher, but it seems to run for a long time. If it played loud, annoying, perhaps inappropriate music that can’t be muted, well, then I guess hand-washing everything would be the course of the day.
4. What food is delicious but a pain to eat?
Pomegranate.
5. What obstacles would be included in the World’s most amazing obstacle course?
I have seen a number of obstacle course competition shows and have run through a few myself in my army days, so I speak with some knowledge. Remember that board game with a table board game-sized obstacles that had to be negotiated with a ping pong ball blown to float in the air by a hand-held blower to negotiate the course? That is, instead of a ping pong, it is a human, and air flow is provided by a drone.
1) Many. Canned pumpkin, chicken and Sriracha ; Peanut butter and carrot sandwiches and Peanut butter on a nice juicy hamburger (this one came from a beach restaurant in Puerto Rico).
2) Unbearable, I would assume.
3) Sidewalks.
4) All of the hard shelled crustaceans (i.e., lobster and crab).
5) Lots of fluffy and bouncy bobs of fun.
What weird food combinations do you really enjoy
Pizza and pineapple. No shame. No fear. Don’t tell Kimmel, though. in the last year or so, I’ve gotten into making pizzas at home. It’s super fun and cheap. and it ain’t easy at all. I don’t have any special devices like a pizza oven or a pizza peel. Those are the SHIT! If I weren’t dying, I’d prolly by one. I got pretty good at it, too.
To make sure you are picking up what I am putting down, ladies… I cook and clean and bake and do all the laundry. and I make bread from scratch. and I make my own noodles, and make my own pizza dough. This last one… don’t bother. Just go to Kroeger and put the little pack for like $5. They have done all the sciency stuff and measuring stuff for you. Trader Joe’s is even better and cheaper. Do not have a bad thing to say about Trader Joe’s.
What would a world populated by clones of you be like
Omg a nightmare. Too chatty, too liberal, drives too fast. Wants to tell the world all about being left handed. Like anyone gives a shit. No thanks, world. You only get… and need… one of me. For now.
Yeah, I identify as a cool young black wearing a douchey ‘Truck Guy’ shirt. Ain’t worse than identifying as Rachel Dolazal. Two of you out there are laughing your asses off. It’s a deep cut, no charge. Funny Pickup Truck Guy T-Shirt, Like A Regular Guy, Only Cooler Saying – Aggressive Thread Truck Apparel
What inanimate object would be the most annoying if it played loud upbeat music while being used?
My sleeping pills
What food is delicious but a pain to eat?
All those spikey ones. Who the hell looked at artichokes (which I LOVE) and said to themselves ‘you know if i boil and peel and boil and peel and invest a good hour or two, there is a a tiny 6 calorie root ball in the middle that is quite nice. IF, you dump that in butter. I mean… its just not a reasonable return on an investment. For sure, the perfect embodiment of this is Drurian. Even though I was in Thailand for a while, I chickened out and never tried it. Why? Because it smalls like rotten feet. The entirety of Bangkok (we were staying over the fresh food market) smells of rotten feet. Our hotel even had a sign at check in that said guests can not have or move or bring into hotel any Drurian. I wrote about my experience with Drurian here, inside a whole subsection about Thailand. Hold shit was that place a gold mine for content. I walked around with a notepad just jotting content ideas down. That chunk I call ‘the travel thairies’. Get it? Thailand diaries? I gotta patent that shit. Oops, I just did. Travel Thairies® ****
The 9 Best Railay Beach Hotels & Resorts in Krabi, Thailand
Railay travel – Lonely Planet | Thailand, Asia
The pics above are where we stayed at the beach, Railay beach. It’s spo beautiful it’s like fake. Bonus to the beauty, bio-luminescent water after midnight, and monkey who will break into your room. The bio word above, it’s NUTS. Here is some guides and sciency stuff. The water doesn’t just glow (unless you live in Cleveland), but when you are in the water and move around, that triggers it. It is a …. sacred experience, bucket list type experience. I thought it was adorable, the wife not so much. Anyhow, it’s here and I strongly recommend it. Every piece in there (about 7 or 8) are really good content I stand behind. Read them and laugh, rinse and repeat. And do know NONE of those pieces are to shit on Thailand. It’s my favorite place in the world… besides our little ranch here outside of Denver. Thailand is like Italy… I would move there tomorrow if the opportunity presented itself. Here are the pieces I am recommending.
Start here
Drinking on the plane (a how to)
Thai massage
Why Bangkok smells like feet
The fabled Red Light district of Bangkok
Chinese People eat the weirdest shit, and other observations
Buddhism> you’re doing it wrong
Do they really just shit in holes? Will i have to, also?
Thai food, what is it like… really?
Really, I should be able to write off the whole trip as research . That would be if I made any more doing this. I don’t. Not a penny. Those adds below, they are ads because I get to use the app (WordPress) for free. A more than fair deal.
What obstacles would be included in the World’s most amazing obstacle course?
Self pity, self aggrandizement, how quickly and discreetly you can masturbate in said obstacle course. This counts for girls, too. For the lady-folk of the world, I know that your privacy involving being exposed in public is a big ask. However, for your safety, we have mounted cameras everywhere! You are welcome, as I am a sensitive man. Lastly, a serious talking down to by your middle school gym teacher.
**** the Trademark symbol rant
some navel gazing, even though I have prattled on far too long. I haven’t felt well enough to write for a couple of weeks. Feeling much better now. Thank you Benzos! The Registered Trademark symbol – ® – do you suppose that is trademarked? Here is a related thought. Yup, you got me all jacked up on high grade medical Valium. So just sit your ass down.
You know when you see the term ‘pat pending’ means? It means Patent Pending. It is a manufacturers way of saying “ok, technically we do not have a patent. So you can completely rip this idea off. But you better do it quick! ‘Cause any day now that patent is coming through. More likely? We are bluffing. the process of getting a patent is just nearly impossible, I guess for good reasons.
1) Have you ever used a grilled cheese to scoop applesauce? It’s yummy.
2) An absolute nightmare.
3) Totally defeat the purpose of a night light.
4) Mango
5) Pools of incredibly thick vanilla pudding.