1. Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?
A statue, made of rasperries and vanilla vodka (I think I envision a fountain.) Commemorating the successful completion of my laundry.
2. If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?
I was always fascinated as a kid, watching very early renditions of the current wrestling fad. It was broadcast on Channel 2, usually on Saturday afternoon. And the Gagne brothers had this move called a “Flying fore arm head smash, off the third rope.” I think I would bring back that magic.
3. Would You Rather… be machine-gunned to death with Lite-Brite pegs -or- be assasinated by Cabbage Patch Dolls?
Both premises are so fateful – glow in the dark bullet holes or a store bought toy ravaging revenge, as if the very world of commerce had taken to violence. I always enjoyed the Lite-Brite as a child. I think I will go with that route.
4. What is the phrase least likely to be uttered by you?
“Well, that’s about it, the house is clean from top to bottom.”
5. Friday Fill-In: How much time has passed since you last _____?
Balanced a checkbook. With the debit card and telephone banking, I never really take the time to reconcile my checking account. I think the last time was back in my unemployment in 2003 – money was tighter back then.
1) This question seems familar but, I believe my statue would commemorate my successes in New York City & be made out of something non toxic so little children could play on & around it without incident. That makes me sound like Michael Jackson, doesn’t it?
2) If I were a wrestler, my finishing move would be gouging out the eyes of my opponent because then they wouldn’t be able to see to find me later (if they survived).
3) I’d rather be assasinated by Cabbage Patch Dolls because that’s simply frightening on every level. Light Brights are too much fun & I don’t think I’d would be thankful for my death.
4) The phrase I’m least likely to utter is, “No, I don’t need that.”
5) How much time has passed since I last slept. Well that’s easy… 5 hours.
1. See my answer to this same question from October 6, 2006.
2. The sleeper hold. Such an anti-climactic, yet powerful way to end the match.
3. I guess the assassination would less painful.
4. “Let’s go huntin’!â€
5. How much time has passed since you last _____?
Worked out. Not since Wednesday. I’ve had a bad week when it comes to exercise.
1. My statue would be made like a torte…layers of sun dried tomatoes, gruyere, roquefort & herbs. It would commemorate something culinary? Although I guess folks consuming my image is a tad bizarre. *shrug*…very “The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover”-esque.
2. I would attempt to perfect The Hammer of Thor….because during wrestle smackdowns at home, it’s used on me. Time to turn the tables!
3. Since either option is deemed fatal, I’ll go with the prettier demise. Death by Lite-brite, please.
4. “No, thanks…I have enough cash right now.”
5. How much time has passed since I last: cleaned our balcony windows. Ages, apparently, because our view is getting rather murky.
1. Your people want to make a statue in your honor. What will it be made out of and what victory will it commemorate?
we have discussed this, actually twice. That being said, I want everyone to understand this would be the right thing to do. Allow me to recap – it would be a landscape water/mountain sort of thing. I would be an ecosystem and look mostly like ponts and hills from the ground. However, from a bird’s eye view you would look down at my smiling visage. This would, of course, be paid for by tax payer dollars. Yup, just tell the Feds it’s something Christian… they will roll right over.
2. If you were a wrestler, what would be your finishing move?
crapping on my recently vanquished foe’s chest. That assumes, of course that I won. I mean, I don’t just go around town crapping on people. Well, not unless they are vanquished foes I mean.
3. Would You Rather… be machine-gunned to death with Lite-Brite pegs -or- be assasinated by Cabbage Patch Dolls?
the second. To quote the late Mitch Hedburg, it would be the cutest infestation ever. By the way, this is also the second time we have addressed this exact question. You’d think since Roy steals his material from other sites… at least he would dig a little more.
4. What is the phrase least likely to be uttered by you?
Is that all that is left of today’s mass? Hmmm That was fun, how about some more things least likely to be uttered by me?
please, no more ice cream.
It was right after the second time I voted for Bush.
Man, I sure miss living in the desert.
Dogs, why would we need another dog?
the lord taught us masturbation is a SIN
5. Friday Fill-In: How much time has passed since you last _____?
walked? almost exactly one week
1)E-Z Cheese and for something silly.
2)The flying crotch of death!
3)Light-brite pegs.
4)Wow I never would have said that.
5)Won a spilling be. Never
Rem would like me to submit his response to #4:
“Hey Bob, did you bring the double-headed dildo and the Budweiser.”
1) My statue will be a huge stone replica of myself shitting on pigeons while spray painting an inner-city youth.
2) With the growing popularity of Luche Libre, I have coined what I like to call the “Japanese Taco.” In this finishing move I fold my oppenent in half and vomit sushi in his lap.
3) I pick the Lite-Brite, but only if I could later be plugged in at my funeral to fill the pulpit with colorful pins of light.
4) “All that praying sure paid off, luckily I didn’t try to do anything to better my situation myself.”
5) How much time has passed since you last gave a rat’s ass? Well, who the hell knows?
1) Mad from beef and honoring my victory over that damn Asian kid in the hotdog eating contest.
2) Since it worked for my brother…The infamous “Sitting on the head and farting” move.
3) The slow agonizing death-by-doll is so Goth and I AM SOOOOO GOTH.
4) I am so sorry and wrong.
5) …said I was sorry and wrong? Ummm, the answer is never in the same sentence.