Random bag of questions:
1. Do you look at yourself carefully in the mirror before you leave for the day?
I try. True story, Monday, while leaving for work, I gaze in the rear view mirror of my car and realized that I left the house without combing my hair. Generally this would be considered poor form, but at work, I got compliments on my new hair cut. Go figure.
2. How has luck/chance/facts-of-life/God/karma/nature treated you so far?
I am generally lucky and things generally fall my way.
3. Would you rather: Be mechanically induced to scream at the top of
your lungs for an hour – or – have your eyes glued shut for a day?
A good scream could be cathartic. I don’t think I could take blind. What kind of machine is this? Who would make a scream inducing machine? That is an odd bit of inspiration. Suddently you are in the workshop, crafting away to build a machine to physically exert a scream – would such a machine hurt? Is it a painful scream or a happy scream?
4. If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?
What is the opposite of raspberries?
5. Is there an animal you would never have as a pet?
A snake. I have said it before and I stand by it. Snakes aren’t pets, they are soup.
1. Unless it’s a date night (i.e., if I’m just leaving for work), I spend roughly 45 seconds in front of the mirror—Mitchum®, cologne, moisturizer, eye cream, pomade. Less than a minute.
2. Well, you take the good, you take the bad, you take ’em both and there you have. . . Actually luck/chance/FOL/BigG/Karma and I have a tempestuous relationship. For everything good that happens, something else is always lurking on the horizon that can/may/will fuck things up. I don’t know that I believe in luck/chance/FOL/BigG/Karma. Such concepts are all too simple to be true.
3. Eyes wide shut, please. “Mechanically” induced sounds like it has the remote possibility of ruining my lovely singing voice.
4. Polyester, or possibly blended scotch.
5. You already know the answer to this one, Nall—a bobcat.
A couple of years ago, I decided I was ready for a pet. As I’m more of a cat person, yet I’m also “Norris” butch, so I decided I needed an appropriately butch pet cat. Thus, I thought of a bobcat. A bobcat seemed perfect as it has pretty fur and perky ears, but is about the size of a mid-sized dog, and possesses a ferocious hunting instinct. Long story short, Bobby turned out to be a gawd awful pet. He marked everything in the house with urine, tore up the furniture, attacked my houseguests, essentially held me hostage in my own home. When push came to shove, my Peruvian houseboy, Pedro, had to take out Bobby with a rifle shot to the skull. I’ve recovered, gotten the house back in order, and now have a lovely fur muff made of genuine, homegrown bobcat.
1) No. I look carefully inside myself to make sure i’m put together on the inside.
2) Luck -50/50, Chance – I hate those damn monopoly cards, Facts-of-life – Just love the Trudy, God- Waiting for an invitation to dinner, Karma – Isn’t that Dharma’s evil sister?, Nature- I just love the call of it.
3) Glue me baby!
4) Tomato Aspic (which is basically tomato jello…and it’s super sicko!)
5) Sea-monkeys.
1. I do look in the mirror to apply SPF, moisturizer and makeup. I have to do my night-time regimen in the dark so that I’m not tempted to pick my face.
2. I am on the roller-coaster that is Life.
3. Screaming at the top of my lungs for an hour might leave me hoarse *and* deaf, so I’m going to go with glueing my eyes shut. Zoe can be my seeing eye dog.
4. Zucchini
5. A spider. I don’t care HOW large and fuzzy they can get, that still does not make them a pet.
{{{shudder}}}
1.) Of course. I believe in putting your best face forward in public. On the flip-side, I don’t spend half an hour in front of the mirror. Hair fiber, a quick nose-hair trim ( if needed ) and some cologne can be done in under 2 minutes and under one if my nasal hairs don’t look like tentacles creeping out of some dark cave.
2.) Pretty good. I don’t really believe in any of those things as the universe is really a mind-boggling number of events that can intersect in equally mind-boggling numbers of ways. I guess you could consider yourself “lucky” if said mind-boggling events occurred ( i.e. crossed each other ) in just the right way but really its all relative because you could never conceive of all of the other “amazing” things that could happen to you. So how could you “really” know if you were lucky?
3.)I’ll take “eyes glued shut for a day” Alex. “Mechanically induced” brings to mind Ned Gerblanski ( the voice-box dude ) of South Park fame. How am I supposed to flirt with men with a voice like that?
4.) Boonesfarm Country Quencher
5.) I think all animals are cool in their own way, but for safety reasons, I think having a rhinoceros would be kinda tough. Like, remodeling my house–for like the third time–would get really old.
1. My morning regimen is 20 minutes long, from alarm to finishing hair tousle. If I’m able to fit in any “careful mirror examination time” in there, I’m very very lucky. Which brings me to the next question..
2. While I’m not sure how luck works, I would have to say I’m plodding along like the rest of us, with ups and downs and everything in between. I believe it’s a matter of subjective perspective as to whether or not you believe ‘fate’ or ‘luck’ has treated you well, or poorly.
3. I’ll take glued eyes for a day. Just take 3 Restoril and sleep through it. Mmm, sleep.
4. Beano.
5. There are actually several ‘pets’ I would never have, however the first that comes to mind is a centipede. The stuff nightmares are made of, and just TRY putting a collar on it. Good luck, Bub. Good luck, indeed.
Do you look at yourself carefully in the mirror before you leave for the day?
carefully? not at all. I know exactly what I look like, so I only look for abnormalities. The only time I give me face a good focus is when shaving. I don’t like my face in the winter, it is pasty and ghostly. Someone as near handsome as me looks better tan.
2. How has luck/chance/facts-of-life/God/karma/nature treated you so far?
ridiculously well. I am so blessed it makes me sick. That is why I am a Dem, because I want to give some back to my community.
3. Would you rather: Be mechanically induced to scream at the top of your lungs for an hour – or – have your eyes glued shut for a day?
the second one, I could deal with the blindness if only for one day. I would just stay in bed. There is a way to mechanically induce screaming in me, it is every Broncos game. I scream when I am excited and I scream when I am angry. When I actually go to games, which is rare because it is incredibly expensive, my voice takes days to recover.
4. If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?
kryptonite, duh
5. Is there an animal you would never have as a pet?
Dunno, as we don’t have kids… I am a very big pet person. Have two dogs, cat, and some fish now. I’d like a menagerie of animals, though. Did I use that word right? If so, how dazzled are you by that word? Seriously, y’all, I had to look that shit up. See what I do for you? If it weren’t for my love of travel, my house would be a zoo. That beind said, probably a yeti (sasquatch). Not only do those things eat a LOT, they crap the weight of a gallon of milk every three or four hours. They smell really bad. They smell like wet dog, about 10 of them. And no, you can’t potty train them.
One cool thing about having a yeti, is people would stop picking on me at work. Hear that, Josh? I am gonna get a yeti who is gonna rip off your arms and beat you with them. Seriously, you are a jerk. I hate you, you are such a jerk. Why are you so mean to me? Do you care that I am a person with feelings? Wait until my yeti gets a hold of you. You’ll be sorry then.
Ok, I changed my mind. Turns out I would like a yeti for like a week or something.
1. Not Really. Quick shave and comb through the hair. I did go to work once with shaving cream still on my ear. Perhaps I should spend more time primping.
2. I think I’m 50/50 good/ bad luck.
3. I’ll take the glue. I dig my quiet time.
4. Bird shit.
5. Rats. Can’t stand ’em.
1. I do carefully check out my visage in the mirror on most days, however, it rarely takes more than 20 minutes from the time I enter the shower until I emerge fully dressed and coifed from the closet. ;~) A little smutz in the hair, occasional moisturizer, deoderant, and cologne are all this boy has to offer.
2. I’m staunchly in the “make your own bed” karma sort of mindset. When I approach life with a positive and upbeat outlook, it treats me well. When I dwell on the negative, not so much. Life has been really good over the last 18 months or so, and I plan to continue the trend.
3. I’m with Sage, take the glue, and a few pills, and suffer in silence…
4. My mother’s foul sister Linda, who almost ended up staying the night with me last night. Bleh! My mother has been firmly scolded to not volunteer my domicile without permission ever again. Distant and trashy relatives should be rarely seen and NEVER heard.
5. They must have no more and no less than 4 legs. They also must be classified as mammals. If they don’t meet those criteria, they are not welcome to share my home. The exception, of course, is fins and scales. I’m completely comfortable with most creatures that have those.
Number five reminds me a lot of Kosher kitchen. Perhaps pets should have been included in the dictates of Leviticus. I’ll have to have a word with the editors if I ever get the chance… ;~)
1. The least one can do for one’s self is not to look needlessly foolish by having toothpaste on one’s pants, that could look like something lewd. A quick glance just to check for spills, spots and tooth barnacles is the absolute minimum.
2. My luck has been surprisingly good the past week. I’m well overdue for a bull horn to the anus or some such random inauspicious occurence.
3. Since the gluing of the eyelids would likely later result in me also screaming for an hour whilst I peeled my eyelashes apart, I’ll cut to the chase. AAAAHHH…
4. Velveeta covered Spam
5. Birds. Little, sqacking, chirpy birds.
1) Screw em this is me clown hair and all!
2)Kicked in the crotch with a ski boot on!
3)A day long nap I’m in!
4)Mayonase
5)A horse they freak me out