[Questions this week with the always thoughtful Kevin.]
1. Wanna go to space? I mean, really. I can get you a ticket for 1 year from today. You’ll need to train and stuff. Actually, training for it will be your full-time job for the next year. And… you aren’t going to take selfies and knock out a Plimtpon’s-esque memoir. You are there to work. It will be about a week. 20% chance you don’t come home alive… or ever. *** odds slightly different if Matt Damon is responding. You in?
I have given this a lot of thought. I am a child of the 60s and 70s. I was five years old when we landed on the moon. I had toy astronaut action figures and accessories and was obsessed with Space comic books and sci-fi as a child and teen. As an adult – no I don’t want to go to space. As I age I think I am getting a bit claustrophobic – I need space, not outer space.
2. You are going to space to save mankind? HA. Not exactly. No. But – you may certainly tell your family that. You are going up to.. basically… jiggle an antenna on a broadcast satellite. Not entirely different from what you had to do to get UHF. You still in?
Maybe, if it was more mission-oriented and short-term you could convince me but probably not. Don’t get me wrong, I am still fascinated with the idea of space and studying space, and following NASA missions and sci-fi movies.
3. You get a bring a book and a record. You won’t be leisurely reading, but you get to leave a record and a book behind in space. What book and record?
“Moby Dick” is a nearly perfect book that all of the universe needs to read. Album, John Prine’s “Great Days – a compilation” because he represents the best of mankind.
4. You get to go back in time to the constitutional congress, late 1700’s, NE United States (er… what will be NE United States). You are with all these luminaries – Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Lin Manuel Miranda… you have about a paragraph to explain to them your mission. Ideally, you might touch on – the future, jet airplanes, outer space, television, and cell phones. Yes, television needs to be on the list, it’s why you are going to space. Think of it this way… you need their funding. You have to sell them on the whole idea.
This will be a pickle trying to explain the value of what is to be had exploring the heavens the home of The Lord when the British are still giving them such a pickle. It goes against all we are currently trying to do in space on a mission of peace, but I would share with them the benefits of weapons and military superiority as a way to beat back the tide of King George.
5. You get to take one of them with you- whom? They don’t have to be listed above but do have to be of that time.
James Madison – the author of the US Constitution and a generally deeply intelligent and fascinating man.
6. Lastly, and I know we are at 6 questions… What do you bring to the mission? Are you handy? Are you funny? Maybe you are a super fast thinker on your feet… a la all the stuff that had to be fixed on the fly on Apollo 11. Just real quick again… why did we bring you?
I am a quick thinker, I can easily adaptably lead teams and if I do say so myself I am pretty funny. And I just invented Twister/Corn Hole – a whole new game that would be excellent to play in zero gravity. More on that exciting new American Pastime to come later.