1. Do you drink wine? Do you have a favorite wine?
I dabble in wine. I generally enjoy Chianti/Sangiovese and there is a particular Cabernet Sauvignon that I enjoy. But wine is not my drink of choice. That is raspberry Koolaid.
2. How was your tax season? Are you revolting?
Uneventful. Print out tax extension form. Put in envelope. Mail. Simple.
3. What type of internet connection do I need? (from Pandora Radio FAQ)
I want one with a personality. I am not keen on simple utilitarian tools. Cool fact, soon, very soon, there will so many choices on internet connectivity and different tools you can use – Intel is working on an interface for refrigerators so that it can keep an running grocery list and a prescribed time, send the list to the store. Digital cameras will soon have 4G technology so that photos taken can automatically be uploaded to a drive regardless where you are. A new phone is now being made, using new internet technology, that allows you to use the phone as a debit card. Waive the phone at a register station while shopping, you account is accessed and money moved to pay for the product. But with all this tech, there is little personality. I want talking computers with attitude, like on the Jetsons. And flying cars.
4. When you come upon a marauding band of Orcs, how do go about ensuring a victory.
This question reminds me that each spring I try to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It is a rainy long weekend for me, so I think I will fire that up.
5. When giving advice to Karl Kipper, what is the first thing you address?
I would start with the teeth. Whitening of the teeth, certainly is a good thing, but Christ all Mighty, Karl, them teeth glow under the summer sun. Take a step back and look human, will ya?
1)Nope
2)efile still waiting for the state to come through.
3)Fast and functional. no lag time when others are on.
4)Nachos. Orcs are suckers for nachos
5)Lube. Lots and lots of lube.
1) Yes. I go through stages of wine. Currently I am on a foofy white wine kick. A Buttery chardonnay makes me gay (as in happy).
2) i just tea-bagged the auditor, the cocksucker! Actually I got a whole bunch of tea back.
3) It’s important for us both to have similar interests and it can’t want any more children.
4) If by day, you will die a horrible dismembering death. But by night…headlights get them every time, just like deer.
5) The envelope.
1. Do you drink wine? Do you have a favorite wine?
I love wine, but honestly doubt I have a real palette for such things. I’m in a Shiraz phase at the moment.
2. How was your tax season? Are you revolting?
I’ve said this before and will likely repeat it again, still… Next year is when I get it all ironed out.
3. What type of internet connection do I need?
Optical is where it’s at baby! I would be fully on board if it was available today.
4. When you come upon a marauding band of Orcs, how do go about ensuring a victory.
I lead with a band of marching pan flutes followed by a virtually unpenetratable line of drummers. Next are the rows of scantily clad, screaming men armed with sticks. No wait, I take that back, just me at the peak of my moon time with a gatling gun.
5. When giving advice to Karl Kipper, what is the first thing you address?
There is a guy so completely obsessed with you, Mr. Kipper, that he writes about you in almost every Friday Five since you were born, and yes that predates the www, still, you should have a talk with this man.
1. I do drink wine. I’m not as an obsessive wine snob like a good friend of mine (who I won’t name, but his name rhymes with Madam Barnold), but I have graduated to better wines. I’m on a long Pinot Noir bender lately, and can even start to tell the appellation from the aroma.
2. Thanks to the collapsing economy, I was able to make a lot less in 08 than I did in 07, which meant I paid less. So, it wasn’t too painful.
3. The love kind.
4. What are orcs? I’m assuming they are the plastic shoes designed for retards and fat people. The way to defeat them is to herd them into an escalator. You won’t get all of ’em, but you’ll inflict some damage, and can mop up the rest with a garden hose.
5. He’ll need to focus on the so-called “big three” if he’s going to repair his life.
–One, ballroom dance lessons. Carl was never much of a dancer, and now’s the time to fix this.
–Two, his golf swing. A scratch golfer in his day, he hasn’t been religious about being on the links, and this really shows in his driving game.
–Three, reuniting with his bridge partner, and getting his game back.
1. Do you drink wine? Do you have a favorite wine?
yes. Generally most reds – merlot, cab, shiraz. Here is the thing, though, I really don’t like warm wine. It is disgusting. When they say ‘room temperature’, they are not meaning 72 degrees. I so dislike a warm red, I will put two ice cubs in the glass. I know, tacky. What I do is this, the ‘20 minute rule’. If you are drinking a white, take it out of the fridge 20 minutes before you are going to drink it. If you are drinking a red, put it in the fridge 20 minutes before you are going to drink it. Works like a charm!
2. How was your tax season? Are you revolting?
lame as always. Ever since we got married we have owed. Before we were married (and filed single), we got money back. There are probably lots of other factors, but I hate giving over even more money at tax time.
3. What type of internet connection do I need?
red. It’s also best to run fives.
4. When you come upon a marauding band of Orcs, how do go about ensuring a victory.
I take that out that dvd, and just watch Princess bride all over again.
5. When giving advice to Karl Kipper, what is the first thing you address?
the hats. It’s old. It used to be cute, like, for a week. Now, it’s just sad. Karl, you are six for christ’s sake, man up and start carrying yourself like an adult. It’s time for you to start carrying your weight around here.
I can’t focus. This wasn’t a great ‘Fives’. Mostly, that is Roy’s fault for crappy questions. See below for the real reason.
* listen, we have a MUCH bigger story breaking here. The Governor of Texas has just threatened to secede. Omg, this is comedy gold. Too muh to think on right now, but you can expect to here plenty here if this story grows legs. I mean, just… wow. I could quit my job tomorrow and do nothing but make fun of Texas. Let’s just sleep on this, you and I.