Friday Fives

1. What’s a little daily annoyance you wish science would have solved by now?
A universal remote that is really universal – works on ALL your appliances, your car, the door to your house, your garage. Make it a phone app and carry it with you everywhere – Bang! I just invented the modern day tricorder.

2. What’s your best eavesdropping story?
Wheww. So many. Sitting at a tavern bar and listening into conversations can be quite entertaining. I overheard a grouchy patron (Father Angelo is his code name) denouncing the guy who got kicked off the United plane. He said, “That Vietnamese loser Dr., they should have waited until the plane was in the air to kick him out.” His wife was with him and she was a bit shocked at the venom. But then again, I have never seen that many happy.

3. What small items make a camping/tailgating/picnicking experience much better?
A rug, mat on the floor of your tent or your picnic area can really raise the comfort level to that of civilized.

4. What is the longest amount of time you’ve stayed awake?
In the army once, during an operation/maneuver drill, I was up for nearly 30 hours and still driving down the autobahn. Those officers I was hauling around were rightly quite concerned.

5. What do you think happened when you see one shoe on the road?
I usually assume it was lost during someone moving between homes or apartments. But I do enjoy playing a more creative back story game. For fun, go to twitter and follow Tom Hanks – he posts pictures of single shoes or gloves that he comes upon (as well as odd cars that he claims he just bought ) It is actually a pretty funny follow.

Friday Fives

It’s Spring, what’s your thing?

1.Spring cleaning – got a big cleaning coming up? Any cleaning you do seasonally?
Lots of big cleaning coming up. I have two piles going, one for the thrift store, one to take out to the garage for storage. I think a big move of some sort is in the future so I am working on jettisoning cargo.

2. Baseball – juiced up overpaid meatheads? Or, America’s past time?
Certainly my past time. I enjoy watching baseball on television. Some people say that baseball was invented as a way to enjoy HDTV (Well not really people say, so much as I say.) Much like knowing the ins and outs of football (coverage, defensive plays, time clock management and all of that), baseball has a strategy and a pace all its own. Why did he use that pitch, how is the batter going to bunt, wasn’t that an athletic play out in left field. Its all in the game. And in our instant gratification world where we must have constant affirmation of our interests at all times, there is a peaceful and bucolic bliss in watching a baseball game.

3. Council of Nicea – a unifying summit of godly goodness? Or the greatest cover-up of all time? Defend your answers, and show your work.

I barely know what this is but I think it had something to do with the beginning of the Christian church.

4. Jesus – God’s resurrected son who walked out of that crypt, or charismatic leader and mortal who sadly did die that day on the cross?
I am a spiritual person, but really a religious person. I like the whole idea of Christianity but the way they are playing the modern game, I think most adherents have missed the message. There is some beautiful wisdom in the teachings of Christ, and of Buddha and of Muhammed – the path I walk is to take the best of all of these words and live a good life.

5 Tony Romo- was he great? Could he have been? Would you keep him, if you knew you could protect him?
Let him go. Denver does not need another geriatric used quarterback. Lono is obsessed with Romo thing. I am starting to worry.

Friday Fives

1. What’s one popular TV show you just refuse to watch and why?
Celebrity Apprentice. Never watched it before the crowning of the Orange Clown and won’t watch it now.

2. What’s one of your favorite movies that is overlooked and not praised enough?
It’s silly and sappy but I love love love “Creator”, starring Peter O’Toole. It is one of his most accessible roles and a fun romp.

3. What movie would be vastly improved by replacing the protagonist with a killer robot?
“LaLa Land.” The world is ready for dancing robots.

4. What actor or actress will only be remembered for a single role they played?
Joel Gray from “Cabaret”

5. What was the most cringeworthy acting performance in a movie/TV show?
Donald Trump in “Home Alone 2”

Friday Fives

1. Are zombies people too?
The greater question is are they covered under the rights and guarantees of the U.S. constitution? I say no, they are not. Much like rats, they are a plague on our soul. Speaking of “Rats,” Morgan Spurlock has a really great, really creepy documentary about rats and their history, plight and various cultures attempt’s to control them – find it online somewhere and watch it.

2. Should there be an order banning zombies from any immigration?
Well, I think it is easier than this. Instead of building an immigrant wall, we should build a zombie moat along our northern and southern borders. Zombies can’t swim and so then Bam! this is solved without a zombie ban law.

3. Should healthcare reform cover undead chain saw wounds?
No.

4. Can pets become zombies too?
This is an interesting vein of debate. Zombies seek out human brains to eat. Dogs and cats are therefore not prey to zombies as they don’t have human brains. So, I theorize, that no don’t become zombies because they aren’t their prey.

5. Which favorite celebrity would make the best zombie?
Sean Spicer, but instead of brains, he would be seeking out gum.

Friday Fives

1. What stops being cute after the age of 13?
Bed Wetting

2. What is something you hilariously misinterpreted as a kid?
I used to think that Holland and the Netherlands were different places. Hell is worse than that – I didn’t realize this misinterpretation until I was in my mid-30s.

3. If someone leaves an abandoned baby on your front porch what will you do?
Call the cops and Child Welfare Services – I am not a father figure – jeesh that would be a disaster.

4. What two types of people are there?
Those who have seen Springsteen live and those who have not. Those who have, understand. The Boss abides.

5. What is a skill that almost everyone in our grandparent’s generation had, that almost none of us have today?
Give back change in that cool count back out way – and do basic maths in their heads.