Friday Fives


1. What do you usually have for breakfast?
Toast, a basted egg and some fruit is the usual fare. Sometimes a steaming bowl of oatmeal. I am not a fancy breakfast lad.

2. What’s your ‘thing’ that you always have to explain to new people?
I have a group of friends that I have traveled around with for many many years. And we have a ton of inside jokes and banter. Invariably, I have to stop and explain a reference to anyone knew to the circle.

3. What are some unethical and possibly illegal life hacks?
Bit Torrent – the book, song, movie, audio book is probably there for the asking saving time and money and most likely unethical and possibly illegal.

4. What is the most annoying thing your neighbor does?
They never smile or say hello. It is off putting.

5. What was the dumbest rule your parents had growing up?
You had to eat everything on your plate and couldn’t leave the table until you had “Three No Thank You” bites – usually containing a menagerie of vegetables.

Friday Fives


1. If you could choose a song to die to what would it be?
End credits suite to “Star Wars” The episode is over.

2. Within the past 24hrs,what you song has been stuck in your head?
Van Morrison’s “Bright Side of the Road.”

3. What is the song that describes your point in life right now?4. What song always gives you goosebumps when you listen to it?
Barber’s “Adagio For Strings.” It’s pretty great.

5. Hey you, how tough are you?
I’m so tough that I can withstand the pain from that little cut you get when opening a can and brush your finger against the edge and cause it to bleed. That shit doesn’t even phase me, I am that tough.
I’m so tough that when I fall on the ice crossing the parking lot, I don’t’ hesitate to crawl the remaining way to the car.
I’m so tough, I cry when I watch “Love Story.”

Friday Fives


1. Your goal is to give someone a crippling fear of oranges. How do you succeed?
Well, first I would start with a bigger than life size poster of Donald Trump, who, as you know, is orange. Then a video barage of scary images featuring the orange skinned Ompaloompas. From there I would feed a ton of oranges to you until you throw up and the combination of all those visceral bad memories of orange would instil a great fear.
Either that or hypnosis.

2. Would your rather have the scorching heat of summer of the Arctic-tinged air of winter?
I am going to punt and vote for Autumn, my favorite season. I like the smell, the colors of the trees and shades of the sky in the fall.

3. Prometheus gave us fire? What should be another gifts from the Gods to render unto mankind.
Hmm, it would have to be something everyone can use. So a magic power, like the ability to roll back time wouldn’t work because if everyone had that power, there would be nothing getting done with a whole planet of do overs. I suggest the abilty to fly. Boom, transportation, energy and global warming problems are solved.

4. The ice cream truck has changed its enticing song. Now it plays [blank]_______.
There is nothing more annoying than the repetitive sounds of the ice cream truck. I think, to stay in that vein, we make the sound pay for itself by offering up the truck as an advertisement.
So on constant repeat I present the paid advertisement for Kars 4 Kids
1-800 KARS4Kids, K-A-R-S , Kars for Kids – over and over and over and over.

5. You discover a diary with only one entry containing the answer to the mystery of life. It says [blank] _____.
Two words: Raspberry Newtons.
(I don’t think I need to explain that any further, pretty self explanatory.)

Friday Fives


1. What is your favorite word?
Well, this week the word I am going to, over and over, is despondency.
2. If fictional characters were allowed to run for US presidency, who would you vote for and why?
Jed Bartlett

3. What is the most disturbing book that you’ve ever read?
“Christian Nation” A satiric farce. President McCain dies in office and Sarah Palin takes over as president and Christian Evangelical Fundamentalists take over completely.

4. You can have sex with one fictional character. Who is it?
Josie, from Josie and the Pussycats

5. What is your favorite place to read a book?
Curled up with my Kindle in my hammock creek side at the river over by Bufford.

Friday Fives


1. What was your first word?
I am uncertain. I am sure it was something simple like “Mommy.” But my mother has said that once I learned to speak I never stopped.

2. How old were you?
About 18 months.

3. Who heard you say it?
My mother and Grandma Mathis.

4. Did you have trouble pronouncing any words as a kid?
Not that I recall. As a dyslexic child I had more issues with handwriting and spelling

5. Are there any words you consistently mispronounce today?
There are ton. My sister is always correcting my pronunciations. I tend to put the wrong emphasis on the syllable.