Friday Fives


You are hosting an intimate dinner party at your home. As your guests leave, you give them a gift:

1. What must read book would give as a thoughtful gift?
Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. Exceptionally well written, light and fun with a great dark message of the uselessness of war.

2. What must listen music album would you give as a thoughtful gift?
ELO’s Greatest Hits. A album for the ages. I consider Jeff Lynne the fifth Beatle.

3. What must have kitchen gadget would you give as a thoughtful gift?
A lemon/lime juice extracting plug. Pure genius. Works with OJ too!

4. What life changing personal gadget would you give as a thoughtful gift?
The 6-1 Util-Key. This wonderful little key chain knife is the greatest little thing. I use it every single day for some kind of task.

5. What else could be a thoughtful gift?
A 6-pack of Hanes Men’s White Underwear. Maybe not always appropriate but my grandmother taught me many years ago that underwear is always a thoughtful gift.

Friday Fives


1. Do you think Bob Dylan deserves the Nobel Prize?
Absolutely. I am all for it. He is weird and wonderful and changed the whole role of lyrics in music. Take a moment and read his song lyrics at his website – thats some sweet melodius joy that comes from his mind to his pen to his lips to our ears.

2. Do you have a favorite Bob Dylan song?
From Time Out of Mind: “Trying To Get To Heaven”

3. How would you describe Dylan to someone who is unfamiliar?
He is the eyes and ears of our soul and bridge between pop, soul and folk music – For Christ sake he invented modern Rock and Roll.

4. Who else deserves the Nobel Prize in Literature?
Don Delillo – the Dylan of the printed narrative. Go read White Noise, go read Libra.

5. What performance artist stands a chance of also winning the Nobel Prize?
Well, if you come to this page for any amount of time, you know I am going to nominate Springsteen, the New Jersey street poet.

Go away now, Donald. Just GO AWAY


No, Donald Trump, your basic apology for the outrageously rude and sexist comments you made are not good enough.

You said in your apology that these comments were made 10 years ago and that people who know you know that is not who you are now.
This is the thing – comments made 10 years ago mean you were 60 years old. These are not some flippant statements made in his youth.

He was 60 years old at the time.

It is safe to assume that by that age he is a fully formed adult. How many folks remember their grandfather at 60 and then again at 70. Was there a big change? No. There was not. The obnoxious horrible 60 year old is the obnoxious horrible 70 year old.

Go forth, Donald and go lose this race and then go away. Take the advice of Bill Weld and go be start a successful laundry business.

Friday Fives


1. What is never going to stop being funny?
Old puns and groaner jokes. You know the kind: “It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.” I love these kinds of jokes and they never get old.

2. What piece of stand up comedy (10 minutes or less) has successfully made you cry with laughter?
Louie CK. On just about any of his stand up acts there is usually an observation that sends me into tears.

3. What joke is hilarious, but takes a few seconds to get?
I am not much of a joke collector. I am a funny guy and can say some funny things but in the words of Adam Carolla, I am a joke factory, always making the funny, not a joke warehouse, always storing up the funny. So I am pulling out my well paged joke warehouse file to find this one: “Why’s it so hard to play chess in the park with old men? You have to find 32 of them and then try to get them to stand still.” via Jackie Martling.

4. You have five minutes to talk to your pets and they’ll understand every word you say. What do you tell them?
“Oh, Bruno, you old deaf blind soul. You must be miserable.”

5. When was your biggest “I should not be laughing” moment?
It usually involves watching someone fall on their ass on the ice. I know I shouldn’t laugh or find it funny but I do. I so do.

Friday Fives


1. What’s the biggest lie the internet has created?

2. What free things online should everyone take advantage of?
Your local library. Most libraries have become a strong bastion of emedia – ebooks, movies, periodicals, comics, graphic novels, software, music all available for free to borrow with just a point and click of the mouse.

3. What is a hobby you can get into for almost no money?
Linux and the Free Open Source Software movement. There are dozens and dozens of versions of the Linux operating system you can download and set up on your computer to learn and you don’t have t remove and can continue to use Windows or Mac or whatever but Linux is the backbone that runs the world. Your phones, your internet, your utility company your television are all based on Linux – learn it and learn how the world works.

4. What is something that you used to be a cheap ass on, until you tried the high-quality version, and now you can’t go back?
I am cheapskate on lots of things and go with store brands, generics, thrift store finds whenever possible. But I don’t buy cheap shoes. Want shoes that are comfortable? Tired of having foot odor? Want shoes to last to spread your fashion dollar – buy high end footwear.

5. What do your friends or co-workers love, and you don’t give a fuck about?
A number of my friends are obsessed with Project Runway. they micro analyze episodes and talk about it a lot. – I could give a shit.