thisiswhatyoushalldo

1. What is one handy spelling tip you were taught that you still use today?

There is “A Rat” in “Separate.”

2. What’s that one thing in the grammar world you’ve never learned to do?

I have trouble understanding where to put double apostrophe’s when they follow a question mark or exclamation mark.

3. You have a gun held to your head and you have to spell a word correctly to save your life, what is one common word that would get you killed?

Weird – It’s weird you asked as I spelled this wrong about three times today.  The rule to remember – “Weird” is spelled weirdly.

4. Which English grammar rule  has helped you the most in your life?

Adding -ly makes and an adverb and adding -ing makes a verb into a gerund noun.

5. Do you recall a grammar rule you were taught in school is not in fact a grammar rule?

Ending a sentance with a preposition. A rule imposed by lazy middle school teachers who don’t trust their young learners with complex sentence structures.  In the words of recognized English language master, Sir Winston Churchill:  “This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put.”

Please place your caption in the comments.

Please place your caption in the comments.

It has been a while since the last music playlist roulette.
From your playlist of choice (iTunes, Spotify, personal collection, or whatever) what are the first five songs that come up on shuffle.  Why is it  on your list?

1. “I Was Drunk” Alejandro Escovedo.   This is from the “Discover Weekly Playlist Archive playlist on Spotify.  It is a great outcome from an essential app:  IFTT (If This Then This) which creates a rule and batch script that takes the traditional Spotify  Discovery Playlist and downloads each week’s 25 – 30 songs and loads them into the archive playlist.  Genius.  Lots of new music drawn from stuff you have liked and saved on Spotify.  I saw Alejandro once when they opened for The Old 97’s at the Bluebird in the early Oughts.
2. “Long May You Run”  The Stills-Young Band.  Same list, same reasons it’s there.  Have you heard of the Neil Young Archive.  Neil has loaded up everything he has dones, albums, outtakes, live appearances and concerts and for a pretty fair, affordable fee you have access to stream – in the words of Esquire reporter Charlie Pierce – The Greatest Living Canadian.
3.  “Stranger In A Strang Land” Leon Russell Same list.  I came late to show with Leon Russell. I was always more of a Dr. John fan – but Russell had blues piano chops in a very different vein.  He recorded and toured with Elton John once during the dusk of his career.  Good album, wish I had scene the tour.
4. “Lonesome L.A. Cowboy” – New Riders of the Purple Sage.  An early influencer, if that is correct, of the L.A. Country Rock sound of the 1970s and Echo Valley sound.
5. “Travelin’ Light” J. J. Cale.  You know him – just listen to some Clapton and you have heard his song.

1. The porn industry wants to start turning historical events into adult films, what are some of the titles they come up with?

The Gettysberg Undress

Enola’s Gay

Homoroe Doctrine

Water-Sports-Loo

2.It is November 4th, 2020. You wake up and turn on your TV while eating breakfast to see your face plastered all over the news. Somehow you have won the Presidential Election by majority vote. What is the first thing you do?

Impeach Reality Television

3. You have 5 minutes to live. What song do you go out to?

Tough one.   Sure there is my classic Friday afternoon leaving work song: Springsteen’s “Rosalite.”  Maybe Sid Vicious’s “My Way.” But I think u will go with Jello Biafra’s “Are You Drinking With Me, Jesus”

4. What questions should you NEVER ask at the end of a job interview?

Wanna see my cock?

Can I take the conference calls from a stall in the john?

What are your office policies on wearing pants?

5. What do you use the little pocket on your jeans for?

I have this little cool bluetooth reciever that lets you plug in decent wired headphones into and connect to you phone making any headphones bluetooth wireless.  It fits into the watch pocket perfectly.

1. What’s the weirdest place you have ever slept?

Alas, it is probably behind/under a park bench at the end of the light rail line in Stuttgart.

2. What song makes you happy whenever you hear it?

The Booty song:

3. What’s the best soft drink/soda flavor of all time?

Cragmont Cream Soda from Safeway.

4. You suddenly have a fully functional tail, what the first thing you do with it?

Train it to dust and remove any foot prints that I leave behind.

5. What is something your dad told you that you’ll never forget?

I have had lots of advice from dear old G-dub.  But seriously, something is afoot. Ghost of Gary has been in my dreams in the last few nights. And he has been angry. Last night, apparently, I allowed a big old pallet of hay that he had delivered to the driveway become infested with rats and vermin. I will try this evening to reconvene this argument because I am in no way to be taken as pro rat, despite my father’s allegations,