Category: Friday Fives

1. What is your favorite hobo name?
Side Saddle Bill – know for his alley yodel and ability to juggle pieces of string.

2. Are you afraid of being attacked by a tiger?
Tigers, no. But I once had a pet puma who would attack me randomly between the hours of 4 am and 5:30. No one wants to be attacked by a pet puma.

3. What time do the bull’s come home?
Usually in March, after a rather randy week of debauchery at spring break in San Padre.

4. Do you poke the bee hive or rattle the bird’s nest?
I prefer to poke. Rattle can leave scars.

5. What is your performance bonus money for your exceptional performance during the recession gonna be spent on?
I am going to buy a nice house house at the Hamptons for me and the little woman. (really, she is little, like 2 foot for or something. You should see her wrangle the vacume cleaner it is hilarious. Hilarious and precious. My little boo does like to keep things clean and tidy.)

Broke ass recession edition

1. If you had to drop everything and condense life into whatever you can cram into a car in a 20 minute getaway what would you absolutely pack?
I do love the sound of a getaway – it sounds like a caper. Well, the computer, the music hard drive and my wireless broadband card. Cell phone and Bose stereo. A quick suitcase filling for clothes. My DVD wallet. A box of family photos, my banjo and heck a ton more – my car can hold a bunch of stuff. If I am making a run, I am probably headed to ranch where most everything else is.

2. Screw expensive and fancy – what do you like that is cheap, simple and probably a bit embarrassing if anyone really found out?
I like Skillet Lasagne Hamburger Helper and basic hamburgers at Burger King.

3. Cheap date during the recession – where would you go?
I have always wanted to go to a high school football game between two teams I know nothing about. A night in the stands, a nice date, concession stand popcorn. Good times.

4. In college, the happy hour with the best free food was always a priority. Any tips on local free food finds.
This is tough. I have really looked in years. Denver has few of these kind of deals as it tends to attract the drifters and ner do wells. But any place with a taco bar is usually a bonus. I think the Emerald Isle has one of those.

5. Have you ever gone dumpster diving?
I have picked up a lamp and a bookcase placed next to the dumpster a time or two. But, I haven’t specifically gone dumpster diving, going from dumpster to dumpster in search of reclaimable throwaways.

1. What is your favorite vegetable?
Recently I have discovered Brussel spouts – fresh, roasted Brussel sprouts. Do this – take about 2 cups of fresh Brussel sprouts from the produce section. Trim and cut in half. Toss with some olive oil, salt and pepper. Place on a roasting rack, cut side up and roast for about 25 minutes at 425 degrees. These are amazingly yummy treats.

2. What is your favorite salad dressing, sauce, gravy, or condiment?
I think we have covered Sriracha sauce here already. I also love homemade bleu cheese dressing and Ken’s Lite rasberry salad dressing.

3. What is your favorite culture’s food (American, Chinese, Creole, Indian, Italian, Mexican, Soul Food, Southern U.S., etc.)?
I love Vietnamese food and Thai food. I can eat that stuff all day every day.

4. What is your favorite beverage?
Beer, then Iced Tea and a recent unhealthy perhaps addiction to Coke Zero.

5. What is your favorite food?
Not unlike Garfield, my favority is Lasagna.

1. If you can only hear one song for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Jungleland by Springsteen. It is complex, with a great gritty narrative and really long (over 9 minutes) so it can fill a lot of time in a musically empty void.

2. What one song would you like to be played on your funeral?
Souls of the Departed by Springsteen. A very touching ballad.

3. What one song that is best to describe your feeling right now?
Is there a hungry song? (I ain’t ate the breakfast yet). “Hungry, hungry, hippo.?”

4. What one song would you like to hear when you’re sad and depressed?
Anything from Herp Alpert and the Tijauna Brass. I listened to a greatest hits CD of him yesterday and there isn’t a sad song in the mix.

5. What one song that you wished you have written?
I talked about “The Weight” a few weeks back. That one is on the list. The family of the author of “Happy Birthday” makes money every time that ditty is played. It would be nice to be the author of that.

1. Has anybody ever heard of a Farrah Fawcett record? Did she sing? What song did she sing?
She had a raspy kinda voice – I would want her to sing something soulful and magical, perhaps about her appearance on Letterman or making love to the Bionic Man.

2. If Michael Jackson starred in a sitcom, what would it be about.
It would involve Bubbles the chimp and be a lot like “My Two Dads.” Each week, MJ and Bubbles would get into hijynx while trying to raise their child on the mean streets of Detroit.

3. Ed McMahon sang. In fact you can still find a few of his albums on ebay. What would you have Ed sing to?
He would be engaged to my birthday and sing “”Moon River,” while downing 16 shots of Jaeger (Hey, tis is Ed we are talking about – this is no tough challenge.)

4. If you could name an 11th commandment, what would that be?
Abide.

5. Do you have a favorite alternate route to work?
I will some times take Quebec/Tamarac/Yosemite down to work in the morning. It is peaceful and pretty in the early morning light. I did not do that today and got behind three big trucks hauling drywall and moving at about 40 miles/hour. Sweet Jesus, this is an interstate, get a move on!

1. When do you get up?
The alarm goes off at 5:08, but I generally don’t get up until 5:28.

2. Do you pout and preen like cheap tarts in a red light street?
Oh, I can be pouty, and now, 80 pounds lighter, I do tend to preen. (PS this is a song lyric by the Police. I looked it up.) When I think pouting and preening, I don’t think of the Police, I think of The Rolling Stones.

3. Does it taste like chicken?
Generally Chicken is the only thing that tastes like chicken. That being said, I don’t think I have eaten many exotic meats to the know the difference.

4. This is a colon : and this is a semi-colon ; – what’s next?
The colon is connected to the bunghole. But seriously, I was contemplating this the other day. With email and texting I wonder how long English society will stick with “sentance graphics” and diacritical marks.

5. What do you keep in your picinick basket, boo boo?
SPF 50, a big water bottle, mp3 player and some sunscreen.

1. Anne Frank was born today. Which leads me to think of hiding places. Do you have a secret hiding place?
As a kid, there was this cave over the hill that was a day hike (a day hike in kids terms, so it was about 45 minutes.) We used to think it was great hiding place.
In adult world, a great hiding place is lunch. Most of my peer group doesn’t leave for lunch. So stepping out for the noon hour is a great way to hide for an hour or so.

2. Donald Duck was born this week (Do you see a Wikipedia theme here?) How should Donald star in a new comic/movie?
I can’t stop thinking about Howard the Duck and how bad that film was. That image won’t allow me to concentrate to cast a new DD film. But however the DD film comes out, it will have a great scene with Scrooge McDuck and all of his money in the big vault.

3. Sunday is flag day. How to you let your freak flag fly?
I am a nerd and quite confident in my nerdiness. My freak flag will be to partition my computer hard drive this weekend to allow a dual boot disk running Ubuntu Linux. That my friends in geeky.

4. I kinda dig looking at house plans and architect drawings. Frank Lloyd Wright was born this week. Do you have a favorite building.
I really like the architecture of Denver’s Brown Palace. And if you look down from the top of the hill on 17th St. in Denver there is neet view of The Cash Register Buiding and Independance Tower sitting as if they were right next to each other. A nice architectural view.

5. Someone has declared this as national fishing week. When was the last time you went fishing?
Years and years. Seriously, probably eight or nine. My step father is an avid fisherman and goes almost weekly but I have yet to go with him – his skills are far superior to mine and I am humbled.

Friday hodge podge.

1. Where is your favorite place to eat breakfast.
I have many breakfast eatery haunts. Such exciting place as the “W” Cafe in Gunnison and the Arrowhead Inn Cimmaron (Oh, sweet Mary, those scones!) But P17 in uptown Denver has these amazing bottomless guava juice mimosas and a braised and broiled uncured bacon dish that I literally dream about. Last week I had Sunday brunch at Lucilles – and that didn’t suck either – count the ways to use the butter !!

2. What is your favorite place to get stinkin’ drunk
Besides my living room? I still have a warm spot for the king of dive bars, The PS Lounge on Colfax. For a bit more flair, a great place to get stinking drunk is The Cruise Room in the Oxford Hotel in LoDo.

3. What do you do to ask for forgiveness (see above)
I have been known to ground myself after a particularly boozy evening. I stand in front of the mirror and give myself a stern talking too and then I am grounded to my house for a few weeks.

4. What is your absolute, must have on hand condiment?
Huy Fong Sriracha sauce – an Asian hot sauce that is perfect with eggs, tater tots, fries and a Pat’s Philly Cheese sammich. A bottle must always be in the fridge.

5. Do you follow celebrity gossip? Who gets your attention.
I don’t. I don’t get TMZ television or any of the other television gossip shows. I don’t go to gossip web pages. I guess if I had to pick it would be The Soup, with Joel McHale.

1. On this day in 1848, the ice cream freezer was patented. What is your favorite flavor of ice cream is… OR for those other types: You don’t like ice cream because…

I am a fan of Dryers French Vanilla ice cream. Lots of vanilla and creamy goodness. Sure there are the many specialty pints of ice cream from Ben and Jerry’s and their competitors, but I always come back to rich french vanilla.

2. If you could create a bicycle path through your neighborhood or town, where would the path lead?

I would go to Wonka’s factory and each day ride off to enjoy some chocolate and candies and play cribbage with the Oompa Loompas.

3. Do you have a favorite Mother Goose rhyme? Better yet, why not write one.

Roy, Roy, Roy was a very good boy.
Each day he traveled on the highway
Sunshine bright and cars left and right
It is time to cut off that bitch with the cell phone.

(More of a modified limerick, but hey, it’s off the cuff.) .

4.Monday is “Donut Day.” Many people consider donuts to be a great breakfast food. Describe your “perfect breakfast.

Well, breakfast has lots of variables. One is no more than three screwdrivers. Once I get to the fourth, the day is shot and I will usually be plastered after moving on to the fourth.
Next, cold pizza is not good for breakfast. Convenient, yes. Good, no.
Coffee must be part of the equation. During the week, breakfast is usually toast juice, and a bowl of cereal with some coffee and a vitamin rice smoothy.

5. I dig office supplies. What is your favorite office supply that hasn’t been invented yet.

I have been know to spend lunch hours at Office Depot. I dig post its and sharpies and fancy staplers and hole punches and . . . oops, I got carried away. I want a folio binder that looks sharp but is sized for those lined post it note pads (5X7 or so). If such a one were designed, it would replace my day timer as my fundamental office gear.

1. This week, in 1881, the American Red Cross was founded by Clara Barton. The Red Cross provides aide to people and communities in times of need. Describe a time when you helped someone. (first aid use is optional.)
I am a helper. Today I helped our non English speaking Korean cleaning lady fax her paysheet to her temp agency. I am that nice.

2. Go to Wikipedia, what pops up when you click the Random Article link? Upon reading it, any thoughts come to mind?
The Way He Makes Me Feel is the title of a popular song from 1983 performed by Barbra Streisand. The song is featured in the film adaptation of the play Yentl, in which Streisand starred and sang most of the music. The lyrics were by Alan and Marilyn Bergman, with music by Michel Legrand. Chirst, that is the lamest random link I have stumpled upon in ages. I mean really – Yentl? Wikipedia serves up Yentl? /sigh.

3. Speaking of random, we do this about every six months or so. What are the first five random songs that pop up on your MP3 player?
1. The Beatles “Baby It’s You”
2. Bruce Springsteen “Restless Nights – Alternate Version (bootleg)
3. Flying Burrito Brothers “If You Got To Go”
4. Ryan Adams “Sweet Lil Gal”
5. Chakachas “Jungle Fever”

4. Saturday is “Penny Day.” Many people believe that if you find a penny face up, it might be lucky and you should pick it up. They also believe if you find a penny face down, you should leave it on the ground. What are your thoughts? Do you think there is such a thing as a “lucky penny?”
What, are you kidding, pick up a random penny? And die some painful flu death from N1H1? Filthy, disgusting useless pennies? No thanks. If I want random money, I will take 10 million dollars like this couple.

5. Tuesday is Roy’s Birthday. What is up with that?
Each year I pick out a nice present that any or all of you can get me. Here is this year’s lovely wish.