Category: Friday Fives

1. Which do you think reveals more about a person, the contents of their refrigerator or the contents of their purse?
Their purse, bag, attache is usually an outward indicator of who a person is: the tools used through the day. The refrigerator is a the keeper of the secrets – the orderliness or disorderliness of a person’s life. The refrigerator tells more, I think.

2. When you visit someone’s home, what are you most interested in looking at?
Well, the default answer is the medicine cabinet – or a cupboard in the bathroom – but based on the above question, maybe we should be looking in the refrigerator.

3. If you could make it so that one person on earth was physically incapable of telling lies or keeping secrets, celebrities & politicians included, who would you choose?
If the world depended on one absolutely honest person, I want that person to be the Attorney General. With all the recent stuff in the past years, we need a crime fighting hero on come through and clean stuff up.

4. Have you ever spilled the beans on someone else’s secret? If so, what was it?
Yes. In the Army, under the charm of wine, I let slip to an Army friend’s Fiance that her beau was sleeping around with other women in the barracks. I was in a ton of trouble and to some extent shunned.

5. Have you ever kept a diary? If so, was it top secret? What did you write about?I have kept several versions of a diary, not necessarily top secret.

1. How often do you usually get sick each year?
I usually get two big colds a year – colds that will keep me from work and the word.

2. Which is worse to catch: a cold or the flu?
The flu, in a landslide. A cold is manageable – some Zycam, Mucinex and a Tylenol/Motrin double combo and a cold’s symptoms can be easily mitigated and you can exist. A flu will knock you on your ass and make you wish you were dead, easily taking you of the game for two or three days at the very least.

3. Do you plan to get a flu shot? Why or why not?
Yes, I get a flu shot and a pneumonia shot every year. You simply do not get sick from getting a flu shot – anyone who tells you otherwise is dead wrong. Any “sick” complications from a flu shot are psychosomatic, according to several doctors and nurses I have talked to about this. Get a flu shot, stay well and alive – there are too many virulent uckies out there to chance it in this globally diverse world.

4. What are your favorite home remedies for cold and flu symptoms?
Flu – bottle of bourbon, some aspirin, a Benadryl to make sure I sleep, many blankets and then sweat it out for a day or so – usually works well – unless my fever is particularly high, then it is OJ and napping. For a cold, see above – the Mucinez, Zycam, Tylenol, Motrin combo is absolutely the next best thing to an actual cure.

5. When you’re sick do you take “sick days” or do you force yourself to continue working?
I have no qualms about calling sick if I am sick. I work in a huge cubicle farm. Germs and viruses can pass easily to one another. Staying home helps mitigate that risk for my coworkers and helps me get better faster.

1. What’s your favorite small office supply (like something that can fit in your top desk drawer)?
I have a seven hole punch that works in my Daytimer binder and it is a pretty important part of my day.

2. What’s your favorite medium office supply (like something that can fit on your desktop)?
My daytimer and binder. At work it is my little bible.

3. What’s your favorite large office supply (like a furnishing or a large tool)?
This is complicated, but under my desk I keep a trash can, turned upside down and I use it much like an ottoman or hassock to rest my feet while I sit in my chair.
4. To which specific office supply do you have a particular personal attachment?
I have a fancy red stapler I bought to replace the cheap one provided. I really love it and it is probably the most borrowed thing on my desk.

5. Which office supply do you consider yourself something of an expert on?
Either Sharpies or Post Its. I keep a huge assortment of each and have caught myself in deep discussions about how I use them – that would at least put close to the expert category.

1. If you were a fruit, which would you be and why?
I think the kiwi – tasty, portable, different – that’s me!

2. If you wake up and smell smoke, and you have to get everybody (pets included) out of the house safely, but you have time to grab one item, what would you grab?
Does that include the pet? Because obviously the cat would go. Another item is the portable hard drive – it has my papers, my pictures, my receipts, my music, my software and my porn. I can start anew virtually trouble free.

3. If you were stuck on an island, who would be the one person you would want with you and why?
These kind of survival versus decadence questions are tough. I think I would take . . . (this is hard, all my friends read this and are cheering for me to pick them. .. ) Anthony Bourdain – good food, travel adventures, good stories – he could save me and feed me.

4. If you could change one thing about your physical appearance, what would it be?
Ditch the belly – give me some abs and then watch out, the world will be mine!

5. If you could spend the day with one famous person, dead or alive, who would you choose?
Very similar to question 3. Lately, I am a bit obsessed with Lewis Lapham – a fascinating guy to spend the day with.

1. Tea or coffee?
Cofee in the a.m. Then iced tea in the afternoon.

2. Do you speak your mind?
Yes, I do. At work and at home, I am quite outspoken.

3. What is your escape?
I use the bat cave whenever possible.

4. When is the last time you cried?
When we finally put Nextel away for good and buried her. It was a sad event. She was pretty cool.

5. What are your bedtime rituals?
I try to brush a tooth, wash the face and hands before collapsing, unless I had one to many scotches – then it is merely collapsing.

1. What item would you be embarrassed for people to know you own?
I have been involved in “White Slaving” for many years. I have storage shed down the road full of working girls to supplement my income. I am not proud of this, but it pays the bills.

2. What is something you splurged on just for you?
Just this week the old elivery man came by with this:Sharp Aquos 52″ HDTV

3. What is something that you own with no real world value that is priceless to you?
A few artifacts from my father and grandfather. An old watch that doesn’t work and a mechanical pencial specifically come to mind.

4. Do you collect anything?
I am a packrat, but I don’t specifically collect any one thing. I love buying books and browsing bookstores and generally can’t resist a purchase, but I am not collector any particular kind of book or author.

5. What item belonging to a friend/family member do you covet?
My father’s anniversary ring. It reminds me of him and allows me to take him with me each day.

1. Do you like it when I do this?
It all depends.

2. What are your hidden charges?
It is in the fine print

3. Why don’t people go to the bathroom on TV?
The three-walled set.

4. When do you get up?
Reagan spoke of “Morning in America.”

5. What does it taste like?
Generally there is always a tang.

1. Describe how you’re feeling using lyrics from an 80s band.
I go with Lyle Lovette:

If I Had A Boat:

If I had a boat
I’d go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony
I’d ride him on my boat
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean
Me upon my pony on my boat

2. What album or song in your collection do you hate to admit that you love?
My Mandy Patinkin album. Very esoteric. Inigo Montoya sings showtunes. Can’t explain it, but I love it.

3. What album or song makes you feel like doing naughty things?
Well, obvious answer is stripper songs, like girls, girls, girls. I think I will go with “Stinkonya” That is a nasty song.

4. What album or song do you listen to while doing naughty things?
Bitches Brew by Miles Davis.

5. If you were in a band, what would it be called?
A great question. Reminds me of Dave Berry and his obsession with finding the best band name. Current choice, Road Dip. Somewhere, in email or in a Word document I have a whole list of these we have collected, but I can’t locate it.

daylightrobbery

1. Budweiser or real beer?
Wassup!

2. What do you feel about your nose?
No picking

3. Children: Baked or broiled?
What has happened to the roast.

4. Do you like it when I do this?
A little song and dance.

5. Do you like the sound of chickens?
Cock a doodle do.

I have been reading a lot of poetry lately. I guess that is the reason for the cryptic questions today. Brought to us via Not Necessarily Safe For Work.

1. What’s in your pocket?
I am sure there is a song lyric in ths – I got rain in my pocket and I need to find some shelter.

2. Is the pork ready?
The pork is ready, now bring out the pie.

3. Have you ever had to rock to and fro to make your poopie go?
And swayin’ to the music.

4. Do you like onions?
Onions-I once envisioned an onion hut, a restaurant/sammich stand focusing on onion.

5. So, how big is it?
Now that the swelling has gone down, most people hardly even notice it.