Day: March 24, 2017

1. Are zombies people too?
The greater question is are they covered under the rights and guarantees of the U.S. constitution? I say no, they are not. Much like rats, they are a plague on our soul. Speaking of “Rats,” Morgan Spurlock has a really great, really creepy documentary about rats and their history, plight and various cultures attempt’s to control them – find it online somewhere and watch it.

2. Should there be an order banning zombies from any immigration?
Well, I think it is easier than this. Instead of building an immigrant wall, we should build a zombie moat along our northern and southern borders. Zombies can’t swim and so then Bam! this is solved without a zombie ban law.

3. Should healthcare reform cover undead chain saw wounds?
No.

4. Can pets become zombies too?
This is an interesting vein of debate. Zombies seek out human brains to eat. Dogs and cats are therefore not prey to zombies as they don’t have human brains. So, I theorize, that no don’t become zombies because they aren’t their prey.

5. Which favorite celebrity would make the best zombie?
Sean Spicer, but instead of brains, he would be seeking out gum.