Category: Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. How do you take your coco? (marshmallows?) Ice tea (sweet?) your soda
(diet?)
I found a cool “Butterfingers” flavored hot cocoa mix last winter. Peanut butter, toffee, chocolate all in one. And forego marshmallows for cocoa and go for the marshmallow cream. Super yummy. I drink sweet tea. as they say down south, although I cheat. I put ” sweet and low” (the pink stuff) in my tea. I always have, even as a child. I was recently diagnosed with hypertension. High blood pressure. And so I am attempting to limit my caffeine. I am going to start drinking decaf ice tea during the day to see if it will help. It will probably cut my caffeine intake in half. I generally detest diet soda. But Coca-Cola now has a diet variety with lime flavor. Pretty yummy. An ice cold Coke with lime is pretty damn good.

2. What is your favorite television commercial (past or
present)
I loved the old Oscar Mayer commercials with some super cute kid singing the B-O-L-O-G-N-A song. Mason Reese, that was his name. I am a bit frightened that I remember that. And it isn’t more than just a coincidence, but I also enjoy the new Nextel commercials. The one with the emus running amok in Manhattan is my favorite, since my mom and Jim have a few emus at the ranch.

3. When was the last time you laughed so hard you had to
pee?
With this new blood pressure medicine, peeing is what I do best now. Pee, pee, pee, pee. But the last time I laughed so hard I had to pee was Monday evening. Mike Meyers was the guest on “Inside the Actors Studio.” It was a repeat of a special two hour interview and Meyers stole the show. He was so fricking funny, I literally had to run to the little boys room after the laughter. If you ever get a chance to watch it, do.

4. Dishes or trash? Fold or send out? Mow or vacume?
I do the dishes and leave the trash for my sister. I should send my shirts out. For laundry, if it can’t get hung up on a hanger in the closet, it stays in the laundry baskets. (one for skivvies, one for soxs. ) If I had a yard, I would be the one charged with the mowing. I am an excellent lawn mower. Fancy designs etched into the turf. Truly a work of art when all is said and done.

5. Diet Dr. Pepper or Red Bull?
Red Bull and vodka. Diet Dr. Pepper is good, but not really considered a staple. And frankly, what can be mixed with Dr. Pepper at the end of the day. Nothing.

Friday Fives

1. Worst. Book. Ever.
Without Remorse, by Tom Clancy. Schlock, pure unadulatered schlock. I read every word. There are a number of very bad books and I tend to flock towards them. Ben Stein, oh he of Comedy Central, wrote a really bad spy novel that I bought at a thrift store. It is so bad I can’t even find the title on Amazon. I wasn’t impressed with Lie Down in Darness by Styron but will probably give it another chance now that I have matured passed my college days. And next, although it isn’t a book, it is a play, I must mention Shakespeare’s Coriolanus. It was tedious and lacked humility and reading it just made me bitter.
This really isn’t fair. I had to read a lot of stuff as an English major in college and I have a more concrete idea of “Worst.Author.Ever” compared to “Worst.Book.Ever.” The worst author ever is easy. Tom Clancy.

2. If you pick three films that you love that no one else seems to know, what would they be?
1. The Creator – Great performance by Peter O’ Toole.
2. Miller’s Crossing – The Best.Cohen Brothers.Movie.
3. The Great Train Robbery – Sean Connery, Donald Sutherland, Lesley Anne Down. Written and directed by Michael Crichton.

3. What’s the most unethical and/or illegal thing you ever got away with?
When I got laid off from a truck renting company’s customer service department, they kept paying me for 6 months. I left with severance and vacation pay and then still kept getting paid. I didn’t tell a sole. Well, except for my family and friends. They were worried about my spending, so I had to tell them all was well. But I never told my former employer, that’s for sure.

4. As usual, I’m running late for work. What do you do every morning before you leave home?
Look for my building ID badge! I have a pretty set routine: morning television news, shit, shower, shave, dress, breakfast (cereal, superfood, toast) and then assemble the day’s needs: celll phone, badge, keys, wallet, brief bag. NPR or CDs and off to the morning commute.

5. Write a haiku about how hot you are.

The ass is sagging

I turn 40-years this month

My wit keeps me hot

Friday Fives

1. How are your map reading skills. What is your favorite “Road trip” memory.?
I have pretty good map reading skills. I am an Eagle Scout, for crying out loud. Factor in my Army time and the few hikes I took to the hills as a boy and as a college student and I am confident that given a map and a compass, I can find my way home. However, it is always important to remember to keep the mountains to the west and know that on the west side of the great divide, rivers and streams run to the west. On the east side, it is just the opposite. But there is a place over in Clear Creek County where the river runs West and it really should run East. So just go figure. A fav road trip? It would have be the trip we took in the Army from Germany to London in a jeep. We got lost in Luxemborg, fell asleep on the Channel Ferry and nearly forgot to get out of the car and we had so little time that the site seeing tour of London lasted about two hours. Crazy, crazy trip.

2. Have you ever shoplifted?
Yes, I admit it. As a teen I used to “take” things out of Kmart. It was the easiest store in the world to rip off. A small town with a quaint naivete, they had no idea they were supplying me with a few cassettes and magazines. This didn’t last long. I wasn’t a career criminal or anything like that. It was over the course of about three weeks one summer. And eventually I had convinced myself that the entire world was on to me, that everyone knew I was a crook. It was against everything I was taught (did I mention I am an Eagle Scout?) Also, I have been known to take a glass or mug or two from a bar. That is probably shoftlifting as well.

3. What is your first thought in your head in the morning? What was your last thought last night?
First thought? “Cat, stop playing with my toes!” This happens EVERY morning around 3:30 a.m. Last thought? “What would I do with my lottery winnings?” A lottery ticket is a ticket to dream. And baby I have spent that fortune in my head on several different occassions.

4. What was your favorite children’s television show? What is it now (children’s show, that is.)
Favorite as a child: A tie between Zoom and The Big Blue Marble on PBS. Now: A tie between Bill Nye the Science Guy and Daria, both showing on Ngn.

5. What’s your zodiac sign? What year in the Chinese calendar were you born? Do you put stock in any of this?
I am a Gemini. Those that follow the stars tell me I am pretty textbook Gemini:
“Gemini is communicative, versatile, can be talkative, and is very curious. Curious, curious, curious… I?ll say it one more time – curious. Gemini energy loves to know how things work. And Gemini energy thrives on knowing what makes other people tick. And when curiosity gets the better of Gemini energy, Gemini may even say scandalous, shocking things or perform outrageous acts for no other purpose or reason than Gemini was “curious” and wanted to see what would happen. Gemini enjoys knowing a little about everything, and Gemini can be the penultimate “jack of all trades, master of none…” Now, of course, I also know that Gemini can get a bit upset over this notoriety and their alleged expertise in skimming the surface of subjects. But tell the truth… We both know it?s a reputation which has been honestly earned (don?t we, Gemini)? C’mon, you can’t kid a kidder! And one more important thing to know about Gemini… Hermes (Mercury, the ruler of Gemini), by some accounts, was the god who originally owned and wore the “Helmet of Invisibility.” This Helmet happens to be the very same Helmet of Invisibility more typically associated with the hidden god of the underworld Hades (Pluto, the ruler of Scorpio). Apparently Hades was merely borrowing the helmet from Hermes. So Mercury (the ruler of Gemini), like Pluto, revels in (and loves) working silently, invisibly behind the scenes. So, while Scorpio is the sign most notorious for being secretive, Gemini is certainly no slacker in the area of being secretive and keeping things under their hat.

I was born in the year of the Dragon:
“1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000: People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic, excitable, short-tempered, and stubborn. They are also honest, sensitive, brave, and they inspire confidence and trust. Dragon people are the most eccentric of any in the eastern zodiac. They neither borrow money nor make flowery speeches, but they tend to be soft-hearted which sometimes gives others an advantage over them. They are compatible with Rats, Snakes, Monkeys, and Roosters. ”

Yep, that’s pretty much me as well.

Friday Fives this week via Roy.

Friday Fives

1. Where are you right now? Weather? Temperature?.
At work in the Inverness Tech Center in beautiful scenic Englewood, CO. Snowing and rain. 30 degrees.

2. What have you lost recently? What were the consequences?
The most recent “lost” item, as in never to be seen again, is a pair of glasses. I had them in a case and was walking to my car. They were my spare pair while my “good” lenses were getting fixed at the opticians. I ended up having to wear an old pair for about a week. Kind of a bummer. The glasses were an old prescription but the sunglasses were a current prescription and it was a bit tiring on the eyes.

3. What was the first CD you ever purchased? Does that embarrass you now?
The first CD was “Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen. Followed a replacement CD, “Synchronicity” by The Police.

4. Fountain or Ball Point?
Pilot P-700 .07 Ink Gell rolling writer. A great, great pen and cheap. You can usually buy a dozen or so at Office Max or Costco for about 4 bucks.

5. Crest or Colgate?
Crest. Although I recently switched to the Crest orange flavored toothpaste. It is disappointing. Sure, it tastes great but it doesn’t have that “slap-your-ass-and-wake-up” effect of traditional flavored toothpaste.

via Friday Fives.

Friday Fives

1. What do you do for a living?
I am a “Fraud Specialist” at Nextel. Basically, I look at a few accounts everyday and determine if they were set up using fraudulent credit. I basically follow our sales force around the database and undue what they have done because they are working so hard to get a commission that they cut corners. But I also work on issues of identity theft and account hijacking and adjust charges/deactivate accounts were invalid charges have occurred.

2. What do you like most about your job?
I am generally do a good thing and am actually contributing to some good in the world. It is a laid back department with smart people and a very generous corporation.

3. What do you like least about your job?
When I close one of our tickets wrong, I know I will get dinged the next day and it irritates me that I can let little things like that slip by.

4. When you have a bad day at work it’s usually because _____…
I am unable to fulfill God’s glory and message while pinned in my cube.

5. What other career(s) are you interested in?
Porn. *

*(see the dichotomy between 4 and 5? That is a joke, you see. We built the foundation in the joke in number 4 when I made up the crap about Jesus and then slammed the joke home, (in the humor parlance, “the hammer”) by going the other way – again in the world of humor writing a misdirection – by tossing in the porn reference.)

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Friday Fives

1. What’s your favorite animal?
It used to be dogs. And it used to be a Scottish terrier, most importantly, Whiskey, the wonder dog, the most brilliant and talented dog that ever lived. If I ever get an other dog, it will probably be a Scotty. But a few year’s back, a few very dear friends got me a cat. Brando, the wonder cat, the most brilliant and talented cat that ever lived. Cats are certainly moving up on my list. However not just any cat. Brando, the wonder cat, the most brilliant and talented cat that ever lived is a very cool, suave cat. He is part puppy and part puma. Some cats, they just swing that way, babe.

2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?
Well, there are the two listed above, primarily. Family pets included a Spitz dog named Gigi. And there was a Rat terrier named Abigail and my sister’s first dog, Molly, a dim brained Labrador/Golden Retriever mix. There was Mom’s cat, Olivia. And another family dog, Rudy that I barely remember at all. Dad was a sucker for stray dogs and was known to bring a few home from time to time until an owner could be found.

3. Is there any specific pet that you’ve wanted but never had? Why?
Monkey! Need I say more. We used to have a cousin who lived in Denver and he was famous to us as children because he had a pet chimp. That’s right a chimpanzee – and part of the family. Honestly, I would dig having a chimp. I also want a real tall and smart standard poodle. They are cool dogs.

4. Are you allergic to any animals?
I am pretty sure I am allergic to gerbils/hamsters. I had a roommate in college who had a gerbil/hamster (Is there really any difference) And that was only time I broke out, head to toe in hives and was painfully sick with an allergic reaction. I am certain it was those vermin pets.

5. Do you have any ‘pet’ pet peeves (your pets or others’)?
Not using your signal in traffic, primary pet peeve. Having a set opinion and unwavering in the ability to change your mood/opinion – pet peeve number two. Rats, snakes, gerbil/hamster/chinchilla/guinea pigs, most birds, ferrets/minks, pigs – these are not pets and in most case they would be soup. Pet peeve three: Owning any of the above animals and calling them pets. It ain’t right.

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Friday Fives

1. What was your first job?
I was a diswasher/dining room buser at an old folks home. I was 15 years old and looking right into the eye of aging, alzheimer’s and death. As a first job it really grounded me. I would be playing checkers with some charming old man one day and come in to work the next and that same guy had a stroke the night before and was very much a changed man. I remember finding a set of teeth in the soup bowls and often had to break up a few fights at the table as the old folks would bicker with each other over the condiments.

2. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
The real kiss, with fireworks and everything I was 16 on a high school band trip one summer. We were in Portland, OR for their annual Rose Festival and I met a girl. The rest of the story has been related in thousands of teen angst rock songs.

3. What was your first car? What happened to it?
It was a family hand-me-down. A 1968 Ford Galaxy Custom 500 with a standard “three on the tree” transmission. Fun to drive. It was eventually passed on to some cousins as their childs’ first car – or something like that.

4. What was your first concert?
The Rolling Stones, 1981, Folsum Field, Boulder, Colorado, Tatoo You tour.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?
A movie tonight and some beers with friends after work. Sunday is the weekly Soprano’s potluck and food/wine fest. Saturday is still wide open.

via Kevin.

Friday Fives

When was the last time you…

1. …sent a handwritten letter?
It has been a long time, probably three or four years.

2. …baked something from scratch or made something by hand?
I bake bread quite often and make an amazing French baguette. It is on the list of things to do this weekend as a matter of fact. The last time was probably about three months ago, however.

3. …camped in a tent?
It has been years, although I take a trip with some college friends each year and instead of a tent, I generally sleep under the stars. The last trip, I slept on the trampoline deck of a catamaran.

4. …volunteered your time to church, school, or community?
This week’s questions have driven home the fact that I am a selfish bastard. Okay! You have made your point. I should do more for other people. Now get off my back.

5. …helped a stranger?
I try to always help the little old ladies in the grocery store reach for stuff. About two weeks ago I gave a lady a jump start in the parking lot of the grocery store.

via Friday Fives.

Friday Fives

If you…
1. …owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Probably Mexican or maybe a coffee shop with a good, decent cuppa Joe.

2. …owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Books. Used books and maybe used records/music.

3. …wrote a book, what genre would it be?
A humorous detective/thriller novel.

4. …ran a school, what would you teach?
English and Linguistics with a special course of Common Sense!

5. …recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
Dirty, Missisippi Acoustic Blues.

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Friday Fives

1. What was the last song you heard?
With Love From Me To You by The Beatles.

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
American Splendor (on DVD) and Mystic River (at the theater.)

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
Razor blades, shaving cream, a Sante Fe chicken wrap sandwich.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
Watch the St. Patrick’s Day parade, wash some laundry, work out, cook Sunday dinner before watching the Sopranos, finalize my income taxes (sigh!)

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
Sara G., William B., Kevin L., Isela L., Caia S.

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