Category: Friday Fives

1. What type of food do you most like to eat?
Raspberries. In my world, raspberries are a food group and I work to get some in my diet every day.

2. What type of food do you most like to cook?
Sloppy, gloppy mexican. Green chili mostly. I love the melange of pepper, garlic onion and oregano.

3. What ingredient could you not live without?
Garlic, probably.

4. What do you never let in your kitchen?
Tripe. No need ever to cook this. Ever.

5. What is your favorite drink?
Ice tea during the day. Gin and tonic during the night.

1. If you have a phobia (or something close to one), what is it?
I hate prolonged planning of vacation. It gives me tremendous anxiety.

2. How long have you had the phobia (or something close to it)?
I think most of my life. I always hated the getting ready to go to grandma’s house, 120 miles down the road. Once I got there, I was happy and fine, and I actually enjoy travel – just not the planning and anticipation part.

3. If you know anyone with a phobia (or something close to it), how does s/he act when s/he is experiencing it?
A real phobia? Liked diagnosed and everything? No, I don’t know anyone. I have many friends on anti depressants and anxiety medication, but I think that is a side effect of our fast paced, commerce driven, win at any cost world.

4. What is one phobia you would wish not to have?
Fear of people. I thrive on interaction with others.

5. What is one phobia you wouldn’t mind having, if you were to face one?
Fear of interstates. I could use it for an argument to work from home on occasion. (Not everyday, I need people interaction remember. )

1. What was your favorite toy as a child?
I had this building set – Girder and Panel Building Set. I cherished it. But my toy I played with the most was a homemade (crafted by Mom) cloth layout of a town for matchbox cars – hours of fun for years.

2. What is your favorite toy now that you’re “grown up”?
Probably my MP3 player. Either that or my Palm Treo. That’s where I store all the entertainment.

3. What is the most dangerous toy you had growing up?
A house full of guns – a few of them mine. I was pretty dangerous in that vein. The rest remains unspoken in shame. It is a shame none of you met my little brother, before the “accident.”

4. What is the most dangerous toy you have now?
A case of Guinness and my new SUV. Watch out fellow citizens.

5. What one toy do you wish you had/have?
As a kid, my parents never bought us Legos. I wish we had some Legos. We lots of blocks and building stuff – Lincoln logs, Tinkertoys, and Erector Set, basic blocks. But no multi colored fun of the Legos.

1. What song would you sing to your newborn child? (OR if you already had a child, which song did you sing to him/her?)
I love the Disney lullaby from Mary Poppins, “Stay Awake” It is a sweet song with some subtle word play, very smart. Good for kids, I would think.

2. How do you think animals think? (i.e. in animal language, human language, etc.)
Have you seen a dog dream? Laying on a couch or a bed, they growl and woof, their legs twitch – they are living a vivid life. That being said, I think animals think in dog language are intrinsically tied to smells and body language when they read our communication and they use body language and sounds when they need our attention, like when Grandpa throws Kevin in the well – again.

3. As a child, did you have a dream to make a difference in the world? Can you describe your dream?
Yes, I always wanted to make a difference in the world – I had childhood dreams of super powers to save the world and of being president. Now, I just activate phones – not too life saving. Sigh.

4. Do you believe in God/a Higher Being?
I believe in an energy spirit of sorts that ties this big mess together. But theologically, I am not religious. I believe most world religions are great myths – the Illiad is no greater than the Bible or the Koran in teaching us about our world. Words and ideas are my religion, not God or a Higher Being.

5. Do you believe in aliens?
Not in a Drive Inn Movie/Roswell sense. But the universe is vast and large, it defies logic that we are the only living, sentient beings. But it will be many eons, if ever, if we come in contact with any other beings.

1. How and when did you learn to swim?
Learned to swim with lessons each summer, taught by the local Red Cross chapter. The pool was a mere three or four blocks from home – each summer we would spend a few weeks in the summer mornings learning to swim.

2. How and when did you learn to drive?
Learned to drive in Drivers Education class, the second semester of my junior year in high school. I received credit hours to drive around the county with Ed’s dad in a rental – I don’t think such things are offered in schools any longer.

3. How and when did you learn to tie your shoelaces?
As a very awkward lefty, I had a family friend who was also left handed come over a few times while I was in kindergarten – just for shoe tying lessons.

4. How and when did you learn to cook?
I began to learn to cook while in Boy Scouts, probably at the age of 12 or 13.

5. How and when did you learn to type?
I took a typing class my sophomore year of high school – and then again after basic training in the army I was sent to army clerk school and also taught typing.

1. What is the earliest movie you remember watching in the theater?
In our small town, one of the things the locals were proud of was the movie theater. My folks went to the movies a lot and I remember lots of movie outings even as a very wee one, three years old or so. I remember watching Disney and lots of kids movies. The first movie that counts was probably some Kurt Russell movie: The Computer Who Wore Tennis Shoes or The Barefoot Executive, or one of the other Dexter movies from Uncle Walt. Now that I look at that short list, I wonder, did Disney have a foot fetish?

2. If you could strike one word from the English language, which word would you choose and why?
Irregardless, followed very closely by Orientate. Both words are superfluous.

3. If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?
Rasperries. Or maybe Porn. Porn, good fresh porn will bring down nearly any superhero.

4. Would you rather win an Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Golden Globe, Oscar, Pulitzer, or Nobel Prize? What work would you win it for?
I would love to have the Nobel Prize for literature or even poetry. But my work place poetry, centering on policy. procedures and office supplies will probably never win the big prize:

Gazing at the red stapler, sullen and alone
I am stunned at the absence of its little friend.
Burgundy and full so helpful and matched
My tape roll is gone.
No longer shall I affix.

5. What is your catch phrase? Don’t have one? Then make one up!
At work, with a hint of sarcasm, my catch phrase is “Living the Dream.”
But today, I did cast a new one: “One can have a great time at work, with a nose full of coke.” But I don’t think it will catch on.

1. Bully, teacher’s pet, geek, shy kid in the corner, or something else?
Teacher’s pet. I have fooled enough people – they love me.
2. What did/do you usually eat during lunch time at school?
At school, I generally had the school lunch. I distinctly remember Chilled Purple Plums.

3. What did/do you normally wear to school? Thinking back to what you wore(if you’ve already graduated), do you like it?
Pretty normal, nerdy dress. And in High School, I wore Levi 501 jeans, because that is what all the kids wore.

4. Any sports/activities/clubs you participate(d) in?
I was in band, on the speech team and drama club and boy scoutes. Crap, I was such a nerd ! Although, paradoxically, I was fairly popular. We will never figure this out.

5. Any worthwhile friends you (would) still keep up with after graduation?

I have a mail, email relationship with high school friend, Tony, but that is about it.

1. What is the best thing about the city in which you live? What is the worst?
Best thing – Every day, in the morning the sun reflects off the Rocky
Mountains – spectacular and beautiful mornings. Every evening the sun drops behind the Rocky Mountains. Spectacular sunsets. Everyday at work I can gaze at Mount Evans.
Worst thing: Denver traffic is lame and unpredictable. Sometimes Monday is a terrible drive, sometimes a piece of cake. Our climate and location make it a very transient city, lots of new folks all the time and there is no one real system of driving. You never know what is afoot on the highways and byways.

2. Describe an idea or invention of yours that you would like to see turned into reality. I hate travel coffee mugs. They are either plastic lined or metal lined and either way they smell and taste like plastic or metal. I want a decent, durable travel mug for coffee with a porcelain or glass interior that won’t break and still be strong enough for daily commuting and travel.

3. Name an overrated author, musician, and movie. Name an underrated author, musician, and movie.
Overrated author: James Patterson and/or Tom Clancy. Both write huge amazingly huge selling crap.
Musician: Brittany and all of the other RoboMusic crap that is created as current top 40 pop music. If it can’t be recreated on an acoustic guitar and sung around a campfire at 11 am it is not music.

4. If your life were a sitcom slated to air in the fall, what would the show be called? Who would you cast in the starring role? And for extra credit, give us a brief treatment of the show.
Really! A 40 something lives a dull life at home and work and stares for hours at the largest television – constantly surrounded by interesting and fascinating friends, he ignores them most of the time – numb at the boredom of corporate cubicle land and the need to constantly figure out where it went wrong.
All sitcoms should star Jonathan Silverman.

GEORGE: I’m really serious. I think that’s a good idea.

JERRY: Just talking? Well what’s the show about?

GEORGE: It’s about nothing.

JERRY: No story?

GEORGE: No forget the story.

JERRY: You’ve got to have a story.

GEORGE: Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting for,
for that table in that Chinese restaurant that time? That could be a TV
show.

JERRY: And who is on the show? Who are the characters?

GEORGE: I could be a character.

JERRY: You?

GEORGE: Yeah. You could base a character on me.

JERRY: So, on the show, there’s a character named George Costanza?

GEORGE: Yeah. There’s something wrong with that? I’m a character. People are always saying to me, “You know you’re a quite a character.”

JERRY: And who else is on the show?

GEORGE: Elaine could be a character. Kramer..

JERRY: Now he’s a character. (Pause) So everybody I know is a character on the show.

GEORGE: Right.

JERRY: And it’s about nothing?

GEORGE: Absolutely nothing.

5. Have threesome with your close friends or with total strangers?
Strangers – totally I love you people, but I don’t need to fuck you. I will take my penis to the strange – and let come what may. Less need for diverting eye contact the next day.

1. what is your coldest memory?
Growing up in Craig and going to school in Gunnison, I have soooo many coldest memories. That is like asking Lang to remember a hot summer in Arizona. That being said, I remember a nice, happy cold memory when our Boy Scout troop made snow caves and camped out in them over night one weekend in February. It was great fun and a great adventure.

2. what is your personal ‘room temperature’?
I like it to be a constand and cool 68 degrees. When the temp gets to about 72 or so I am u ncomfortable, winter and summer.

3. what is your warmest/ hottest memory?
Probably the beach in Tunisia – although basic training in may and June in South Carolina was pretty miserable – hot, humid, no a/c and due to the basic training nature of the event, deliberately uncomfortable.

4. at the end of this crazy road, assuming you have a choice – what city/ climate will you choose, and why?
Tough one. Denver has a pretty great climate, but this last week of oh my fucking god it is shitting bricks cold has been annoying. But I am a desk jockey. I don’t play golf. I generally avoid the outdoors in my sedentary 40s. I will probably find a way to stay in Colorado at the end of days. But where I land I can’t say for sure. I have a sweet spot for the beauty and landscape of the Western Slope and I generally enjoy about 30% of the folks that live on the other side of the state. Kevin, however, is a puss and will probably head back to Arizona to be with the old people. We all feel very sorry for Kevin and his bad decisions.
5. Would you rather…. Lick a flag pole, ala Christmas Story, or jump in an icy lake, ala the Polar Bear Club.
I have, in fact licked a flagpole in the winter. Craig is very fucking cold in the winter. These things happen. I am a boy and dares have been made, things have happened. An ice pool, while heart stopping can come to a formal and quick end. The tongue on pole logistics can end badly.

1. What’s the most strange thing anyone has ever pointed out to you?
Isn’t it strange that A guy who usualy has a joke handy, a smart ass remark on the ready is completely stumped by this question and has nothing. By 2:00 afternoon I will have a 20 minute monologue ready to go. ugh. More coffee please.

2. What’s the most obvious thing anyone has ever pointed out to you?
This type of aha moment is usually related to a life tip of some sort – house cleaning, kitchen chore, home improvement thing – the most obvious thing I have been pointed to was the wisdom to cook on medium or medium high heat. Cooking on high is for amateurs.

3. What’s the most miserable thing anyone has ever pointed out to you?
That my hopes and dreams of an early retirement will never, ever happen.

4. What’s the most extraordinary thing anyone has ever pointed out to you?
The world is run by B and C students (thank you Reverend Ed.)

5. What’s the greatest thing that anyone has ever pointed out to you?
George Bush only has 374 days in office. Sigh.