The Friday Fives

1. If you where about to be executed, what would your final words be?

“Well, i did not see that coming?”


2. If countries are people, which one will be the best roommate and why?

Sweden. Sweet, nice, pleasant and lots of cocoa.

3. What’s one thing that is worth spending money on once a month?

Paid youtube membership. There is a lot of deep deep content on youtube but the ads are a miserable experience. Paying to have no ads has become a justifiable no brainer.

4. What is a newish lifehack you have discovered that has changed your life?

Baking bread in the microwave.

5. You have 1 hour and $1 million in just 1 store. Where are you going?

Off to the Maserati store !

The Friday Fives

1. What do people do after an orgy?

Slam them on the ass and say “Good game!”

2.  What is something depicted on TV that’s never as easy as it looks?

Having a car explode in a car crash.

3. What are you most insecure about your body and why?

My ass. i used to have a great ass from swiming and bike riding and all that running and marching in the army but now I have a fat flat ass of an old man.

4. What is a newish lifehack you have discovered that has changed your life?

Baking English Muffin Bread in the microwave. It’s fast and doesn’t heat up the whole house.

5. What’s the most misunderstood book that has affected your life?

Moby-Dick. i know have gone on and on about this here on the Fives but read it as an adult with no fear of a test or essay due at the end. It really is quite good and fun and sticks with your.

The Friday Fives

1. What is your weirdest addiction?

Softcore North Korean porn.

2. What’s your go-to when you run out of toilet paper?

It generally never happens, but if the spare roll is in the closet in the other room, I also have a roll of paper towels to clean the bathroom on hand, and I will tear off a small square and go to town.

3. What do you say to an unwanted door-to-door salesperson?

True story. Unfortunately. There are no witnesses. When I was living in Gunnison, a few Jehovah’s Witnesses knocked on my door. I was working from home at the time, writing up a newspaper column and finishing up some desktop publishing of that week’s issue on the good old trusty Macintosh SE, which I used to produce the local newspaper. I heard some clatter in the quad of my apartment complex. So when the Witnesses came to my door, I answered the door naked and invited them in. They passed on the invite. There may or may not have been some weed and booze involved.

4. What was the scariest “We need to leave… now” gut feeling that you’ve ever experienced?

There was this tiny little bar near my apartment in Denver called the Lil Taz. My friends and I were “collecting” Denver dive bars at the time. We strolled in and ordered some beers, hoping to get some tacos, but the kitchen was closed. We ordered some beers, and I excused myself to the bathroom after some time. While “resting” in the restroom, a group of guys came in and began to snort some lines up their noses with some powdery substance from the tank of the toilet. I quietly went to the sink, washed my hands, and walked out, returning to the table of my friends and telling them to drink up; we were leaving and explained what I had just seen and that it was about to get really weird here soon. We were just three white folks in a bar frequented by a number of Latinos, and it was obvious we weren’t necessarily welcome there, so the anticipated coke/meth-infused atmosphere was more than troubling. I am not sure that there was any coke/meth or that we were unwelcome, but between the vibe and the beers we were drinking and the fact that it was a very, very small bar was unnerving, and we left immediately. Had we stayed, it might have been a great party.

5. What’s the most unusual thing you’ve found on the street?

I am always fascinated by that one glove found on the side of the road. Over on the Twitter machine, if you search for Hanx (Tom Hanks’ Twitter account), he frequently posts a random picture of just one glove found on the sidewalk, gutter, or road, and that Twitter feed always gives me a nice warm glow.

The Friday Fives

1. Do you turn down the car stereo in order to see better?
Yes, I have been known to do that – in order to concentrate. For examply when driving through Vail pass during a snow storm or through Glenwood Canyon in a rain storm I usually need silence in order to keep the wheels on the road.

2. If you are listening to music right now, what song are you listening to?
SiriusXXM Deep Tracks – Faces – On The Beach. It is pretty obscure. Pretty sure Ronnie Wood is on vocals.

3. If you could Google your own brain, what you search your memory for?
Where did I loose my keys last week?

4. When someone says “musical genius” who is the first artist that comes to mind?
Bob Dylan. No other answers will be accepted.

5. A New York City jury has convicted Donald Trump of 34 felonies.
Thoughts?
Although a complicated case it was also open and shut. Due to Wall Street and dinvestment banks headquarteed in NYC, the DA’s office quite good at building these kind of financial corruption cases and if you followed the case it was pretty straight forward and easy to follow. The Orange Bloviator has never been held accountable for anything in his life and this is a fitting and apt topper to a life long career of deception.

The Friday Fives

1. What’s the last book you read?

“The Dark Forest by Cixin Liu. Volume two of the Three Box Problem. A slo start but the last third is quite gripping.

2. What’s a well known brand that’s in decline?

Fit Bit. They used to be everywhere but now with smart phones and smart watches they have kind of lost their wave.

3. What’s a really great music documentary?

It is probably trite to say but I always go back to “The Last Waltz” and The Band’s last concert. There was also a fascinating VH1 documentary on the last days of Warran Zevon recording his last album. I think it was called “My Ride Is Here.”

4. Name a song you like that is NOT sung by the traditional lead singer.

Jerry Garcia is the generally recognized lead singer of the Grateful Dead but Bob Weir’s version of Chuck Berry’s “Pjromised Land” is one of my favorites.

5. What is a seemingly random movie line you will blurt out out of context?

“This will not stand you know. This aggression will not stand, man” – The Big Lebowski.

The Friday Fives

1. What brand of clothing from the past would the current generation have never heard of?

Ocean Pacific shorts. In the 80s they were everywhere. The default costume of Magnum PI.

2. Do you have a TV show you could binge over and over again?

I have been told that I watch “Friends” reruns too much.

3. Jason Isbell calls Taylor Swift a genius and perhaps the biggest songwriter ever.
What do you guys think?

Well, after Paul McCartney,perhaps.

4. What song makes you emotional, no matter how often you hear it?

“He Stopped Loving Her Today” by George Jones. It was kind of a soundtrack while my father was in hospice care.

5. Name an album where you can listen to every song from the beginning to the end and not have the urge to skip a song.

“The Rising” by Bruce Springsteen. Each song is great and the order is perfect .

The Friday Fives

1. What was your favorite magazine to read as a teenager?

Omni magazine. a monhtly sci fi compendium published by Penthouse magaize. You actully read it for the articles.

2. What’s a great song with misunderstood/unintelligible lyrics?

“Louie, Louie” The world’s most recorded rock song.


3. What’s a now “obsolete” technology you miss?

I miss my old Nextel phone and the push to talk radio feature. What a great simple technology. Squwack and then talk. More efficient than a phone call or a text message. It’s bandwidth was picked away at by other industries and could no longer be sustainable as a money making venture, the technology still exists and is great.

4. What makes people age the most?

Smoking cigarettes.

5. Who is your favorite Lee?

Bruce

The Friday Fives

1. What’s a terrible song to play at a funeral?

Living on a Prayer by Bon Jov.

2. What’s a terrible song to play at a child’s birthday party?

Smoking in the Boys Room – Brownsville Station

3. What’s a normal amount of money to keep in your checking account?

I have about two paychecks in reserve, usually.

4. What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

“You are the best boss I ever had ” said to me right ater I terminated his employment.

5. If you could go back and tell your teenage self one thing, what would it be?

Pay attention to your laundry and your money.

The Friday Fives

First apologies: I was traveling back from Greenville, NC, all day on Friday and literally forgot about posting the Fives.

1. What memory from your childhood always brings a smile to your face when you think about it?

Riding the passenger train from Craig to Hayden to see my grand parents back in the day when that line was running.

2. What was a sad moment from your child that pulled you into real life?

Death of my grand father and going to the funeral when I was five years old.

3. What will you never buy cheap?

Coffee. Don’t but the cheap stuff. Live is short. And shoes

4. What do you usually buy the cheapest version of?

Most generic or store brands of basic kitchen pantry staples (canned tommatoes, peanut butter, baking goods. )

5. What’s your favorite childhood TV show or cartoon?

I was a pretty huge fan of “Jonny Quest” but watchng old episodes on YouTube – wow, show did not hold up.

The Friday Fives

1. What would be the worst Buzzfeed list

“15 ways to make your Nazi concentration camp death showers more efficient.”

2. What is one thing that Amazon absolutely should sell?

George Jetson’s flying car

3. What is the weirdest thing you have found for sale on line?

A full size reproduction civil war cannon


4. What’s the worst thing about the Nextdoor website ?

The passive racism. I live in Southeast Denver where all the money is and some of these homeowners are just down right racist Trumpist pigs.

5. Hit the random button on Wikipedia and what comes up?

Cool – Flanders!