The Friday Fives

1. What is your “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that” condition?

Pay your mortgage.

2. What’s something from your childhood that you still have?

I still have a lot of my old boy scout stuff – patches, badges, uniforms, my beloved compass.

3. You woke up and today’s date is January 1st, 2000. What’s the first thing you will do?

Buy some houses and property in Denver – way before the boom and bust and then just do whatever it takes to hold on just before the real estate bust and sell out quickly.

4. If fast-food workers are described as burger flippers, how would you describe your job?


5. If you had the option to bang any fictional character of your choice who would you pick?

Jessica Rabbit.

The Friday Fives

1. What’s your favorite word?

Friday! Just kidding. A favorite – hmm a very difficult choice. Of the words I use often it would be the simple, lovely, ambidextrous “fuck. ” It’s a noun; it’s a verb; it’s an adjective. It really does it all.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Irregardless. It is indeed a word, look it up. But it is so unnecessary. Regardless does the exact same thing.

3. Do you have a nifty grammar punctuation rule that makes you feel smart every time you get to apply it?

Two tricks. One is a nifty spelling rule – there is a “rat” in separate. And I adore the semicolon to get around the vicious comma splice that could plague so many college papers.

4. If you could change one grammar rule what would it be?

See above – quit being such a blue-nose about commas and the comma splice. Faulkner, Joyce, Rushdie they do/did it all the time and they turned out okay.

5. What common grammar mistake annoys you the most?

The use of the possessive apostrophe in third person use. Especially your vs you’re. (and while we are on the topic: their, and they’re, and there) Typos I regretfully can overlook but when these example are over-used consistently incorrectly it gives me concern. I blame autocorrect and using mobile devices to communicate and defaulting to shortcuts and abbreviations for so many woes that translate poorly when someone tries to communicate formally. I had an employee who never used the word “because” correctly in emails and instead would use “cause” in its place (not the colloquial “cuz” which I still don’t care for). I could never never break her of that habit.

The Friday Fives

1. What brand is overrated?

Starbucks. Really it’s just over roasted coffee.

2. What has absolutely no real reason for being so expensive?

Again, Starbucks. Coffee is incredibly cheap crop with a huge huge mark-up.

3. What’s an inappropriate song for a funeral?

“I want to dance with somebody.”

4. What movie title becomes the most ridiculous when you add “The Conjuring:” to the beginning of it?

“The Conjuring: Snoopy, Come Home”

5. How do you think COVID ends?

We end up getting a shot every year and in winter months live and work with masks on from now on.

The Friday Fives

1. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?

It was with my parents at the good old West Theater in Craig – the earliest I remember was Mary Poppins – I am not sure but that is the earliest recollection. I do know the first movie I saw with just my dad on some sort of father/son outing was Yul Brenner in “Sabata” an old 1960s spaghetti western. In my early years, say thrid grade ad on we used to go to movies together. It is a great memory I have of spending time with him.

2. What is the first documentary you saw?

As a kid, it was probably “The Undersea World of Jacques Costeau” or one of those Disney animal movies that showed on Sunday nights on “The Wonderful World of Disney.” As an adult at college, it was probably “Blue Eyes Brown Eyes” or something close to that about an experiment in bigotry at an elementary school in the early 1970s.

3. What is your favorite “Caper” film.

Tough call. Probably a tie between “The Sting” and “The Usual Suspects.” Both are nearly perfect films.

4. What are some older tv shows or movies that you would actually like to see rebooted?

I always dug, as a kid, the odd, “doesn’t hold up” Saturday morning show “Ark II” that is crying out for a reboot as a group of scientists are trying to save mankind after some kind of nuclear/climate disaster.

5. What’s a tv show/movie that helped you in your hard times?

I always have a good cry after watching “It’s Wonderful Life.” That movie still holds up.

The Friday Fives

1. What is your worst winter driving story?

Wow, this is a loaded question. On the 26th of December just last week or so I had a white knuckle express with white-out blizzard-like conditions from Debuque Canyon all the way down I70 to Georgetown but that isn’t my worst drive. Trogg had new tires and was driving like a champ. I popped him into 4X4 and just went slow. But having grown up and spending my life until I was 30 years old living in Colorado mountain towns. When I read this question the first thing that came to mind was a trip back to Gunnison from home in Craig after a Christmas vacation and having terrible driving conditions between Delta and Montrose on a usually nice a tame two-lane highway turned into a snow-filled wind tunnel. My poor little 4 cylinder Pontiac was no match to the wind and struggled to go forward and the wind-tossed me back and forth across the road – it was probably some of the worst 45 minutes of winter driving I have ever experienced – I have driven in lots of winter storms.

2. Do you have a “Damn, I am the boss driving in this crap!” story?

Try driving over Rabbit Ears Pass on Highway 40 coming into Steamboat during a really wicked windy winter storm and by the time you hit the 7-11 in the Springs you will say to yourself, “Damn, I am the boss driving in this crap!”

3. What is the coldest winter that you recall?

There was a really cold year in high school. I think I was a freshman or a sophomore. I wasn’t driving yet. And it was -30 degrees below zero. And we still went to school and no classes were canceled. Different times.

4. When is the latest in the year snowfall you recall?

I have seen snow in July in the Colorado mountains.

5. How bad does stupid cold weather give you stupid cabin fever?

Before the quarantine shutdown, there were some really dark “get me out of here days.” But I am so so homebound now that staying in all the damn time seems kind of normal now.