The Friday Five

1. What is your New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day tradition?

I am old. I don’t go out and revel in the New Year’s Eve. I leave that to the rookies. I watch the Rose Bowl parade with a glass of prosecco and make a big brunchy breakfast.

2. Do you make resolutions? If so, what is one you are going to focus on this year?

I am not a big resolutions person, but I intend to get on the exercise bike during these cold months to get in shape for my spring-fall bicycle commute and perhaps melt off an additional 15 lbs. The trick is to rise early in the morning and trot over to the gym in our complex when there are no crowds.

3. do you have any New Year’s memories as a kid?

Our town would open a fired hydrant flood the local city park, creating a skating rink and I remember many years of skating on New Year’s Day – I think it was my dad’s idea so he could sleep in after coming home late on New Year’s eve partying at the Elks Lodge.

4. It will soon be 2024 – what technology were we promised that never came to be?

I am still waiting for flying cars. My sister thinks it’s a bad idea as folks can’t drive as it is. And I also am waiting for the Star Trek transporter. That would be a huge game-changer.

5. It will soon be 2024 – what technology or trend just needs to go away?

Social influencers.

The Friday Fives

Today’s post suggested by Lono: (
“Using humor and the style from please answer these questions with no more than a paragraph-long response for each. (You can edit the source to anything you want for the Chatbot to use as its basis). Questions are from this blog one year ago.

Pretty genius, actually.

1. If you had the power to shut down a company for good, which company would it be?

Oh, shutting down a company? That’s a tough one. Maybe I’d go with a company that makes square watermelons—because fruit should not be confined by geometry! Let watermelons be their irregular, wobbly selves.

2. If you could ban one song from the airwaves, what would it be?

Banning a song? Easy peasy. “Baby Shark.” If I hear that tune one more time, I might join a synchronized swimming team of sharks to escape it.

3. If you could cancel one television show or moment from the airwaves, what would it be?

Cancel a TV show or moment? How about we erase that time when everyone thought it was a good idea to bring back the mullet? Business in the front, party in the back? More like, “No thanks, I’ll pass.”

4. What movie should just not exist?A movie that should vanish into thin air?

“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” Seriously, who greenlit that? I don’t need my salad fighting back.

5. What typical American behavior should be banned outright?

As for banning American behavior, let’s say mandatory small talk. We get it, weather. Can we move on to discussing the important stuff, like why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

The Friday Fives

1. What will be deemed illegal in the future?

Coal burning and cigarettes

2. What don’t people want for Christmas?

More Trump. Just make the dickhead go away.

3. What poor man’s meal recipe are you willing to share?

I may have shared this already, but here you go: Grandma’s Scalloped Oysters.

1 load: Cheapest generic store brand white bread
1 stick of butter
1 can of store-brand/generic evaporated milk
1 can of oysters

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Remove the bread crust and cube the loaf
3. Melt half a stick of butter and half the bread cubes and brown in a skillet.
repeat with the remaining butter and bread.
4. Open the canned oysters and, with scissors, slice them up while still in the can to make oyster pieces
5. Drain and reserve the oyster liquor.
6. Open the can of evaporated milk and combine the milk and oyster liquor in a mixing bowl.
7. In a greased baking pan, layer bread oysters, bread, oysters, then pour the liquid over and bake at 350 for about 45 or so minutes.
It is buttery, rich, and delicious and costs almost nothing.

4. For those older than 30, what did you have/do when you were kids that modern kids couldn’t ever understand?

It was dialing a corded telephone that was mounted on the wall in the kitchen with that ridiculously long cord.

5. If your last meal was fast food only, what would it be?

Arby’s Beef and Cheddar.

The Friday Fives

1. What holiday movie are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?

The live action Grinch Who Stole Christmas remake with Jim Carrey. Bad movie. Stay with the cute, 30-monute animated gem, folks.

2. What completely baseless holiday season conspiracy would you like to start?

The Elf on The Shelf is a part of an NSA plot to learn you secret family Christmas cookie recipe.

3. What holiday song are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?

“All I Want for Christmas” by Mariah Carrey. Not a great song.

4. What holiday food/beverage are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?


5. What is the weirdest holiday gift suggestion you have discovered while shopping onlline?

Giving a gift of a cow to a village in Asia or Africa.

The Friday Fives

1. What is the most disturbing thing you’ve heard said casually?

There was this click of folks running around together working in the fraud department where I worked. They were involved in a sex club/cult, and the unfiltered stories they told were quite disturbing. I am not a prude, but their stories usually leave my mouth agape.

2. You go to bed like normal, but when you wake up you’re in a hospital 200 years later, and you haven’t physically aged a day. What’s the first thing you ask?

Did the Broncos win.?

3. What TV show never gets old to you?

I still tune into Friends reruns and the Star Trek franchise.

4. What is the worst movie you have ever seen?

Leviathan is a really bad knockoff of The Abyss. There are many others, certainly, but I walked out of the theater on this one. So Bad

5. What movie would never be made nowadays?

Blazing Saddles