Rhinos Don’t Wear Shirts
Via Sage, via Rachel. The best (at least in recent history) from the chat rooms. Funny, funny stuff, indeed.
Friday Fives
Friday Fives
You have just won one million dollars:
1. Who do you call first?
My bank to make arrangements for a big ass deposit. Then Julie and Mom
2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
A Delorean or somekind of fancy fun to drive car. Then a fancy, fun to drive house.
3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
Pay off Mom’s farm and Julie’s college.
4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
I would set up a nice trust for the Craig Library, which is having lots of money problems. The library was my Dad’s pride and joy.
5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
I would invest a good chunk to grow for later. Probably in a combination of long term tax free bonds and the Motley Fool’s investment formula. It has shown a decent track record of growth based on the Dow Jones top five stocks. (Man, did I just pull that out of my ass!)
via Friday Fives.
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Blitzers
My “Blitzers” are in the shop. That is what I am calling my new eye glasses: “Blitzers” because they are just like the kind worn by the monotone cable news monolith Wolf Blitzer.
But I digress.
My Blitzers are in the shop. You see, January has become Roy’s month of complicated eye wear. I ordered some new, perky trendy glasses this month and got them on Jan. 2. Great. Fancy. Fine.
And a week later I opted to go to another optician and get a pair of back up glasses and some prescription sunglasses. So far nothing is outrageously out of line.
Then, with three pair of glasses in hand I was ready to tackle anything that could come along, vision wise.
But then the clumsiness set in. In the course of two and half weeks, I have misplaced my new sunglasses for three days (found, thankfully. Thanks, Kevin.) I have completely lost my back up glasses. Gone, missing, vanished in a trip from the office to the car. And the new fancy glasses, the Blitzers had to go back to the optician due to an unfortunate crack in the lens after just a week.
I sit here, typing away and working wearing an old pair of glasses with a four year old prescription and squinting as I look across the room.
Sigh.
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Obligatory Primary Analysis
The Democratic presidential primary process is off and running and I am about as confused now as I was months ago when I was telling friends that this thing was going to come down to Dean and Kerry and Kerry would probably get the nod, because of his deep pockets and political connections.
Then months later, that changed and I was swept up in Dean fever. But alas, the good doctor has a lot of momentum to over come.
And I honestly don’t know who I would support.
Colorado’s caucuses are in April. And by that time, the presumed nominee will be known and my participation in my precinct caucus will be just a mere formality.
But it is important to keep a few things in mind. Of the total delegates needed to secure the party nomination, to date, only 1 percent have been identified.
And if past performance is any indicator of future performance, Bill Clinton didn’t win a primary until the tenth state in the circuit. John Kerry has won both the Iowa caucus and the NH primary. No candidate in a challenged race has ever won both and gone on to win the nomination. So there is still plenty to watch.
Tuesday, February 3 and the following Tuesday, February 10 will be more telling than the two little sprints we have seen so far and perhaps, by then we will know who will be the challenger to Bush for 2004.
And as dry as this may all sound, I really get excited and fascinated watching this political stuff. More fun that mini golf, that is for sure.
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It’s A ‘Cask’ Not A ‘Box’
I have been talking a bit about wine and how, to some degree it is unapproachable to many. Earlier this month, I gave a few web site suggestions for good wine advice and even some bad wine advice. But what about middle of the road wines? Like good scotch, good beer and good tequila, there is a place at any table for good wine and average wine for enjoying at home throughout all the week without the pretension.
Last year I discovered Franzia’s’ Chianti.
Now before you make the ugly sour face, know this. All wine in a box is not bad. In fact there are actually full-fledged reviews of box wines or “cask wines” as the industry is trying to get us to call them. And these wines come from Austrailia and Europe. Hardly what you think of when you think of a big box or gallon bottle of Carlo Rossi.
Anyway, back to the Chianti. There is a lot of talk about a mass marketed (yet still impossible to find here in Denver) wine called Two Buck Chuck. A merlot/cabernet blend wine that actually gets high marks from many reviewers. In fact Chuck dabbled to acceptable reviews in Chianti, so cheap Chianti (my favorite) had to be available. And Voila, Franzia’s Chianti in a box, err, I mean cask. And then, checking out at Lucas Liquors, I learned that Franzia is actually made by Chuck, of the Two Buck Chuck claim. And it is a smooth, mellow yet wine flavored beverage that keeps the head happy on a mellow week night. Sigh.
Also on the shelf a try this weekend, Hardy’s from Austrailia and their cask packaged Chardonnay and Shiraz.
I will let you know.
I might add that at $9.99 per 5 liters for the Chianti and $9.99 for 3 liters for the Hardys, these wines come in at $1.50 and $2.50 per bottle respectively. If they are no good, you are truly out no money.
But so far so good.
Friday Fives
Friday Fives
At this moment, what is your favorite…
1. …song?
The Thrill Is Gone – by – B.B. King (He was on old school Letterman reruns last night and the song has stayed with me.)
2. …food?
Green Chili Smothered Chili Relleno. (I think that is going to be my lunch.)
3. …tv show?
That 70s Show (Damn, that Red Foreman is funny!)
4. …scent?
Vanilla. (Mmmmm, beans.)
5. …quote?
“Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out all the wrong words.” Mark Twain. (Actually, my favorite Twain quote goes something like “There are few words in the English language and I will be damned if I can only use some of them. (referring to swear words). However, I cannot find the exact quote.)
via Friday Fives.
Friday Fives
Friday Fives
1. What does it say in the signature line of your emails?
It is a rotating collection of booze related quotes from W.C. Fields. Currently, it reads: “I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake–which I also keep handy.”
2. Did you have a senior quote in your high school yearbook? What was it? If you haven’t graduated yet, what would you like your quote to be?
That was 20 years ago, I hardly remember. However when signing a book or card for mass consumption, I was recently given a great line: “//insert another name from the card/book you are signing// appears to think well of you.” That makes me laugh.
3. If you had vanity plates on your car, what would they read? If you already have them, what do they say?
Veerlft (Veer left)
4. Have you received any gifts with messages engraved upon them? What did the inscription say?
A silver mug from a wedding engraved “Groomsman” and a silver champagne bucket engraved: To: Lullabelle, love Snowball.
5. What would you like your epitaph to be?
“Get Off My Lawn!”
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Because We Will All Regret Them Someday
A charming and very funny essay on tatto removal. Share with your inked friends. They will thank you someday.
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Pine Box
I haven’t decided if this is sad, funny, ironic, necessary, obvious or just plain odd. It definitely should be included in some dark country song Slim Cessna or maybe Uncle Tupelo. I was going to just sneak it in to some post as some sort of non sequitor embedded link but it really deserves a post of its own.
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On The F*%*#ing Moon!
Some love via Sage. Beware of spewing liquids while watching. It is that funny.