90996458

Crunch

Remember this? When I was in the seventh grade, calculators started popping up. What fun they were. You could use them to cheat on math homework, use them to spell out dirty words using inverted numbers, use them to program sounds to disrupt class. Today, only math teachers are really adept at using them, but in the beginning they sure were fun.

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And Because It’s A Storm

More shockwave fun for everyone in honor of today’s March Snow Day: A collection of several snow themed events to take the edge off cabin fever. Why does it always snow before pay day and not after?

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3-2-1 Penguins

It has been a while since I sent this out. But it has been updated with different scenarios and the overall goal has changed. So, no longer must we put Kevin the Space Penguin into orbit. Instead, toss the duct tape ball into the doom tunnel. Good luck. It is like outerspace mini golf.

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Five Pro War Questions
Five Anti War Questions

One last post for a bit on the topic of why war, why now. What do you believe and can you explain, in perhaps a mythical essay test question format, why you support your pro-war or anti-war position.
Taken liberally from the No War Blog.

  • Point Counter Point Debate
  • 90876981

    Why We’re Going To War And Why We’ll Keep Going To War

    Thomas Barnett is an instructor at the Naval War College and prominent Think Tanker appearing as a talking head all over the airwaves. His recent article in this month’s Esquire magazine lays out probably one of the most plausible reasons why so many have rallied around regime change in Iraq, why Iraq, Iran and North Korea can be considered an “Axis of Evil” and why the strategy of global commerce and world trade dictate where the problem spots in the world are and why we must “aggressively shrink them.” I am not competely on board on going to war – however, in the course of hours, that point will be moot. So now, as a thinking member of a free society, my job is understand why we chose war and to understand how to work to stop war in the future.
    “A country’s potential to warrant a U.S. military response is inversely related to its globalization connectivity.”
    This piece fills in much of that for me.

  • The Pentagon’s New Map
  • 90868332

    Losing A Popularity Contest With Hussein

    pasted from Michael Moore's website. His open letter to GW Bush:

    Monday, March 17, 2003

    A Letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush on the Eve of War

    George W. Bush
    1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
    Washington, DC

    Dear Governor Bush:

    So today is what you call “the moment of truth,” the day that “France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table.” I’m glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn’t sure if I could take much more. So I’m glad to hear that today is Truth Day, ’cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

    1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON’T FIND THEM! Why? ‘Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don’t want to kill him! Funny how that works!

    2. The majority of Americans — the ones who never elected you — are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives — and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here’s what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs almost two dollars — the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

    3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

    4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won’t have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

    5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let’s see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What’s that you say? You don’t THINK so? Well, hey, guess what — we don’t think so either!

    6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn’t even have this country known as America if it weren’t for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That our greatest thinkers and founding fathers — Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, etc. — spent many years in Paris where they refined the concepts that lead to our Declaration of Independence and our Constitution? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do — tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can’t get out of.

    Well, cheer up — there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you “win” the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner — and who doesn’t like to see a good ass-whoopin’ every now and then (especially when it ‘s some third world ass!). So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year’s election. Of course, that’s still a long ways away, so we’ll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

    But, hey, who knows — maybe you’ll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis — they got our oil!!

    Yours,
    Michael Moore

  • www.michaelmoore.com
  • 90739737

    I Start Wednesday

    Well, drama over, job secured. See below for all the machinations. A drug test on Monday and off I go.

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    Life Without French? Impossible’

    This was cute. The Christian Science Monitor put some of its folks to work and deciphered the words we use everyday that are French in origin and then replaced them with less decriptive or less common words. And it creates a good point. Maybe the doughheads in the U.S. Congress who have replaced French Fries and French Toast with Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast will get a clue and just let this xenophobic behavior fade away and get on with solving real problems instead of condemning democracies that don’t happen to vote the way the Bush administration wants them too.

  • Life without French

  • Friday Fives

    1. As a child, who was your favorite superhero/heroine? Why
    Green Lantern. He seemed to be “more real” than the other heroes. Except for maybe Peter Parker of Spiderman fame, he seemed puzzled and uneasy about his powers.

    2. What was one thing you always wanted as a child but never got?
    An electric go cart and a set of Legos ® (My mom and dad were more of the Tinker Toy/Lincoln Log set.)

    3. What’s the furthest from home you’ve been?
    Geneva, Switzerland or maybe Northern Italy while serving in the Army and stationed in Germany.

    4. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to learn but haven’t yet?
    To speak Spanish and if I can take two instead of one ? to play the guitar.

    5. What are your plans for the weekend?
    Saint Patrick’s Day Weekend, which involves a parade downtown tomorrow morning. I am not making any promises, but perhaps I will commandeer a float and make like Ferris Bueller and sing to the crowds.

    90731652

    Spring Is Upon Us

    No call yet on whether I have the job. Let me tell you about yesterday. I spent three hours up in Westminster at the Finali offices. A very nice facility that is just west of Ball Aerospace offices. The “Candidate Assessment Workshop” consisted of a lot team building projects, communications skills and customer service roll playing scenarios in which the 19 candidates would be hired for 11 positions available. I hope I did well, but I you can never really tell with these things. All you can do is be yourself, present your self as interested, professional and knowledgeable and hope that is what they are looking for. It does seem a lot for a job that doesn’t pay much, that is for sure. There are certainly a few there who annoyed the Finali folks on hand for assessment as well as annoying a few from the placement agency from time to time. I, of course, was as charming as can be, although I bit my tongue and didn’t go for the punch line, letting that slip sometimes can get a job candidate in trouble after all. They said they would have an answer today after the background checks were completed, but it is my experience that such statements need to be extended. But hopefully I will have an answer before Tuesday. The training class is supposed to start on Wednesday March 19.
    In other news, I got my approval for the extension for unemployment benefits, so if everything goes bad, I at least have another 13 weeks of unemployment.