The Friday Fives

1. What can you say in bed and also at the dentist?


2. What name would you give to your country if you had the chance?

From Groucho – Freedonia

3. What’s on top of your fridge right now?

A baking stone and some racks and cookie trays.

4. What perfectly normal words cause you to giggle like a five-year-old when you hear them?

Do do and head.

5. What was the most interesting thing you learned about your ancestors?/strong?

I once did a deep dive on, and no one in our family knew much about my maternal grandfather, so I traced his family way back to medieval Wales and was a flag bear for some king or prince (Probably Dafydd ap Gruffydd)

The Friday Five

1. What is your New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day tradition?

I am old. I don’t go out and revel in the New Year’s Eve. I leave that to the rookies. I watch the Rose Bowl parade with a glass of prosecco and make a big brunchy breakfast.

2. Do you make resolutions? If so, what is one you are going to focus on this year?

I am not a big resolutions person, but I intend to get on the exercise bike during these cold months to get in shape for my spring-fall bicycle commute and perhaps melt off an additional 15 lbs. The trick is to rise early in the morning and trot over to the gym in our complex when there are no crowds.

3. do you have any New Year’s memories as a kid?

Our town would open a fired hydrant flood the local city park, creating a skating rink and I remember many years of skating on New Year’s Day – I think it was my dad’s idea so he could sleep in after coming home late on New Year’s eve partying at the Elks Lodge.

4. It will soon be 2024 – what technology were we promised that never came to be?

I am still waiting for flying cars. My sister thinks it’s a bad idea as folks can’t drive as it is. And I also am waiting for the Star Trek transporter. That would be a huge game-changer.

5. It will soon be 2024 – what technology or trend just needs to go away?

Social influencers.

The Friday Fives

Today’s post suggested by Lono: (
“Using humor and the style from please answer these questions with no more than a paragraph-long response for each. (You can edit the source to anything you want for the Chatbot to use as its basis). Questions are from this blog one year ago.

Pretty genius, actually.

1. If you had the power to shut down a company for good, which company would it be?

Oh, shutting down a company? That’s a tough one. Maybe I’d go with a company that makes square watermelons—because fruit should not be confined by geometry! Let watermelons be their irregular, wobbly selves.

2. If you could ban one song from the airwaves, what would it be?

Banning a song? Easy peasy. “Baby Shark.” If I hear that tune one more time, I might join a synchronized swimming team of sharks to escape it.

3. If you could cancel one television show or moment from the airwaves, what would it be?

Cancel a TV show or moment? How about we erase that time when everyone thought it was a good idea to bring back the mullet? Business in the front, party in the back? More like, “No thanks, I’ll pass.”

4. What movie should just not exist?A movie that should vanish into thin air?

“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” Seriously, who greenlit that? I don’t need my salad fighting back.

5. What typical American behavior should be banned outright?

As for banning American behavior, let’s say mandatory small talk. We get it, weather. Can we move on to discussing the important stuff, like why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?

The Friday Fives

1. What will be deemed illegal in the future?

Coal burning and cigarettes

2. What don’t people want for Christmas?

More Trump. Just make the dickhead go away.

3. What poor man’s meal recipe are you willing to share?

I may have shared this already, but here you go: Grandma’s Scalloped Oysters.

1 load: Cheapest generic store brand white bread
1 stick of butter
1 can of store-brand/generic evaporated milk
1 can of oysters

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Remove the bread crust and cube the loaf
3. Melt half a stick of butter and half the bread cubes and brown in a skillet.
repeat with the remaining butter and bread.
4. Open the canned oysters and, with scissors, slice them up while still in the can to make oyster pieces
5. Drain and reserve the oyster liquor.
6. Open the can of evaporated milk and combine the milk and oyster liquor in a mixing bowl.
7. In a greased baking pan, layer bread oysters, bread, oysters, then pour the liquid over and bake at 350 for about 45 or so minutes.
It is buttery, rich, and delicious and costs almost nothing.

4. For those older than 30, what did you have/do when you were kids that modern kids couldn’t ever understand?

It was dialing a corded telephone that was mounted on the wall in the kitchen with that ridiculously long cord.

5. If your last meal was fast food only, what would it be?

Arby’s Beef and Cheddar.

The Friday Fives

1. What holiday movie are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?

The live action Grinch Who Stole Christmas remake with Jim Carrey. Bad movie. Stay with the cute, 30-monute animated gem, folks.

2. What completely baseless holiday season conspiracy would you like to start?

The Elf on The Shelf is a part of an NSA plot to learn you secret family Christmas cookie recipe.

3. What holiday song are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?

“All I Want for Christmas” by Mariah Carrey. Not a great song.

4. What holiday food/beverage are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?


5. What is the weirdest holiday gift suggestion you have discovered while shopping onlline?

Giving a gift of a cow to a village in Asia or Africa.

The Friday Fives

1. What did you purchase as an adult because you could never have it as a child?

Legos. My parents never ponied up for Legos.

2. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Gi Joe . I had his rescue jet and lots of accessories.

3. What was the first video game you played?

I am of the olds. “Pong” on the original Pong player on a black and white Magnavox TV.

4. As a child, what was your favorite breakfast cereal?

Toss up between Cap’n Crunch with Crunch Berries or Lucky Charms – they’re magically delicious.

5. What is your best, most beloved childhood memory?

I took many camping trips to local reservoirs with my cousins and running around unsupervised in the woods.

The Friday Fives

1. What do you think is the most addictive non-drug?

Coffee / Caffeine. Gots to gots to haves it.

2. What brand has your loyalty?

Nikon. I spent a number of years always with a camera in my hands while working as a newspaper reporter,
and my mighty, mighty Nikon was my old reliable. I may go find some black and white film, pull that great camera out of its bag, and grab some arty pics.

3. What is your favorite poverty meal that you will eat, no matter how much money you have?

Ramen. Delicious. Doctored up with some sriracha and soy sauce, some green onions, and a hard-boiled egg, it is delightful and costs nothing.

4. What is the far worst thing that happened to you this year?

My dang car was stolen! Those bastards.

5. What is your favorite Conspiracy Theory?

I am not a huge conspiracy theory believer. But I enjoy reading about the faked moon mission. I don’t believe the moon landing was fake, but the stories make me smile. People can be very stupid sometimes.

The Friday Fives

1. If you were a girl in the 70s in the U.S., you were expected to take Home Ec. in high school. Did you and what did you take from the class, if anything? If you are a guy, would you have liked to have had the option of taking it?

In 8th grade, they offered Homec for boys, and for one quarter, it was basic cooking, and for another quarter, it was sewing, and we all made down vests from a kit we had to buy. I still have many of those skills taught.

2. How were your school lunches?

Up through 6th grade, the home lunch program was run by my grandmother, and she ran a scratch kitchen. It was pretty good. Homemade rolls, hamburger buns, and homemade donuts. It’s not a bad way to grow up.

3. Did you walk, take a bus, or have someone drive you to school?

Through my junior year of high school, I walked to school (It was a small rural town, and we were “townies). In my junior year, I drove myself, and in my senior year, the new high school was farther away, so I drove myself as well. I also rode my bike to school quite often.

4. Were any classes off-limits to you because of your sex?

Not really. We had co-ed PE, women in FAA raising cows alongside the men. Men’s and women’s sports were competitive, but otherwise, it was all co-ed.

5. Looking back on it now, what was the biggest life lesson you took from high school?

Small-town America can be broad-minded – sometimes, but then again, this was in the late 70s and early 80s, and that town has gone full-on Trump these days and probably not the fun time it was back then during the coal boom.

The Friday Fives

Friday Friends

1. What do we think happened to Ross?

He is such an insecure and duplicitous person. He became a big MAGA head and was convicted in a real estate swindle.

2. Did Monica end up putting all her weight back on?

Not fat shame, but yes. She is also very insecure. In fact, we probably need to talk about how their parents raised them. After Monica got her hubby and kiddo and the house in the burbs, it was back to the bonbons and deserts all day long.

3. On the “Pivot!” episode – have you ever had that big furniture-moving conundrum that ended up ruining what you were moving?

We had this huge, huge old oak desk that my dad secured from the post office where he worked, and he refinished it, and we moved it into the house, and we didn’t ruin the desk but had to take the doors off the frame and damaged the door jamb trying to get it into the house.

4. Seriously, how much rent would you have to pay for a sweet ass apartment like Monica’s?

I mean seriously. i know it is part of the story that it is a rent-controlled apartment sublet from her grandma but that thin is easily a $6,00 a month rental. On what they make? No way.

5. Do you think Phoebe and Joey were ever kicking it together secretly or hooked up later in life?

“How you doin’?” Yeah, they were definitely doing it. He was a sex machine and Phoebe definitely had her freaky side.

The Friday Fives

1. What’s a movie that you love even though you know it’s a horrible movie?

“Wasabi” A very bad, French in translation and captions buddy cop movie starring Jean Reno

2. What video game will forever be in your heart regardless of age you reach?

Tempest. In high school, working at Safeway, each night at closing we would play the arcade version in the lobby for hours on end.

3. What’s a hygiene tip or trick that everyone should know?

The blade buddy – a textured silicone strop for your disposable razor. i haven’t changed my razor blade for eight months and no knicks or nothin’ !

4. If your life was a movie, which would it be?

“Catch 22” It is a never-ending endless circle

5. Which television shows had too many series/seasons?

“Lost” Try as I might I can’t get through season five much less six or seven.