The Friday Fives

1. What’s the most tech-illiterate thing you’ve seen a person do?
My mom, bless her heart, doesn’t use or understand email. Which, in the year 2020, is kind of difficult to share things with her. She still sends letters by mail and will send packages and envelopes full of little things from my past. It’s cute but a mom with no email is difficult to send things like recipes and gardening stuff she would be interested. And oddly it is just email. She reads her kindle and plays a few video games on her phone and is quite good about texting – clear down to photo sharing and using gifs and emojis. But email intimidates her for some reason.

2. What places would you never travel to because they’re too dangerous?
Probably Bolivia or one of those revolutionary South American nations. I had this book years ago, “Traveling to the World’s Most Dangerous Places” a travel book on how to negotiate risky, revolutionary, and third world countries. Much easier to travel those places from the safety of your couch.

3. What’s the best pet name you’ve ever heard?
I always to name a puppy of a large breed dog, like a rottweiler, “Gonk.”

4. What’s the craziest conspiracy theory you have heard?
I read this book about Nixon and Watergate and the author’s premise was that the break-in was not about the Democrats as much as what they may have had in opposition research, namely information about Nixon’s involvement in Cuba and Chile and the Kennedy assassination. I didn’t buy the story but it was a good story indeed.

5. What’s your favorite time of the day to have coffee?
7:00 am or so, on the couch with the New York Times crossword puzzle.

The Friday Fives

1. What is sexy but not vulgar?
Burt Reynolds
2. What has quarantine ruined for you?
Alone time
3. What is the stupidest thing you have ever done while drunk?
Well, there have been many – but the easiest answer is online shopping. I have ended with cases and cases of wine while browsing online a few cocktails in.
4. What YouTube rabbit holes do you tend to find yourself going down?
James May (from Top Gear) has two or three seasons of “The Reassembler” where he is given a set of parts for a common device and reassembles them while talking a bit of history of the device and other standard May snark.
5. You can add one “fuck” to any famous quote, where do you put it?
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you fuck something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Friday Fives

On Jeopardy, we would call these questions “Pot Pourrie”

1. If you could ask Donald Trump one single question and get an absolutely straightforward honest answer, what would it be?
Hey, have you ever actually read a book, a real book, not Hustler magazine, from cover to cover?

2. What’s a common saying that annoys you?
Perception is reality. It is a common corporate leadership adage that just so annoys me.

3. What sequel was better than the original?
The Godfather Part II. There will be no room for discussion on this point.

4. Who was the last person you hugged? How long ago was that?
Nurse Lori about four weeks ago.

5. Who is the least problematic and universally beloved celebrity, in your opinion?

Tom Hanks

The Friday Fives

1. What’s the most cluttered spot in your home?
The dining room table. It is a magnet of a mess and the general catch-all of all things at home Nall.

2. What’s your method for decluttering?
Start with the big stuff, move the to things that can be thrown away, and then piece by piece put things away.

3. What are your favorite cleaning products?
I found this cool thing that makes a non-bleaching chlorine solution from water, salt, and vinegar that is electrolyzed. It is non-toxic and cleans anything and sanitize everything and is color-safe and safe on fabrics.

4. What helps get you motivated to clean up?
When the mess gets in the way of comfort.

5. What’s the most organized spot in your home?
Bathroom cupboard and bathroom counter. Makes the morning and evening routines go so smoothly.

The Friday Fives

1. What is that thing in your house that was pretty common and is now absolutely extinct?

The VCR tape rewinder – because there was a time when you rented the tapes and Blockbuster and the grocery store would charge you for not rewinding.

2. What about something from your grandparent’s house that was common and absolutely extinct now?

Both of my grandmas had those old hand-cranked washing machine/tub.

3. What is a favorite television commercial from your youth for a product that no longer exists?

It was those Polaroid camera commercials with James Garner and Mariette Hartley – they were so popular, people thought the actors were an actual real-life couple.

4. What advertised product that passed away with time do you still recall fondly – the product, not the ad like the question above.

The Christmas- time toy commercials – or better yet, the Sears, J C Penny, and Montgomery Ward toy catalogs – pages and pages of sheer advertising.

5. What do you say to people who don’t take COVID19 precautions seriously?

My three employees who ignored the public health advice to stay home will argue with those who say it isn’t necessary – all are battling multiple bouts of pneumonia on their 3rd hospital stay, all under the age of 40, none men – and all ignored the guidelines. We have been WFH for 6 weeks now. Ask my nurse friend Sparky who has recovered but still weak with a painful cough and back to work in the oncology clinic. Or my friend with MS who hasn’t left his house for two months. Those individuals might provide a different argument.

The Friday Fives

1. Have you ever been in or caused a car accident?
Yep. My sister rear-ended me while moving her from Greeley to Denver. And I clipped a bumper on an icy road down by Park Meadows mall once December but there was no discernable damage.

2. Have you ever had a happy accident?
I live life generally with no solid plan and rely on luck and whimsy. Most of life is a happy accident.

3. Have you ever done anything ‘accidentally on purpose’ and regretted it?
I think this counts. In Microsoft Outlook the key combination [ctrl] + [enter] will send an email – nice keyboard hack to have in your back pocket. However, in Microsoft Skype, the same key combination [ctrl] + [enter]will initiate a voice call. I have called more than my share of folks accidentally.

4. Do you think the kitchen or the bathroom in your house has seen more accidents?
In my house, the kitchen by far. My bathroom is a minor surgery and er center for most cut finger trauma care from some kitchen accident.

5. Do you believe nothing happens by accident but rather by destiny?
In the words of Malcolm Nance, it takes aa lot of planning for a coincidence to occur. I am not a big believer in destiny.

The Friday Fives

The Prine 5’s

1. How did you discover John Prine?
Good story. 1983: In between my time at Cu Boulder and before I joined the army I got involved in a community theater group in town and the director of the current show lived two houses down the street and they were playing the album and then gathered with cast members usually each night and sat in the back yard on a cool summer night and played Prine in guitar circles singing his songs. I was hooked.

2. What makes him so special?
It is difficult when critics reaction to y our first album begins calling you the next Dylan – as happened with Prine. He discounted all this and simply referred to himself as just a singing mailman – his job prior to being discovered playing in a tavern in downtown Chicago with Steve Goodman. Kris Kristopherson was in the audience and subsequently met Prine and the rest is history. But through all that, he remained an every man and considered himself a songwriter and guitar player who discovered a microphone and a voice.

3. Let’s say I have never heard the music, but you are interested.  What’s one critical studio introductory song?
Sam Stone

4. And also, one live performance that gives a good introduction to Prine.
Lake Marie

5. Is there a standout lyric of his that sticks with you?  Why?

It’s folksy lyrical whimsey.

That’s the way that the world goes ’round

I know a guy that’s got a lot to lose
He’s a pretty nice fellow, kinda confused
Got muscles in his head, ain’t never been used
Thinks he own half of this town

Starts drinking heavy, gets a big red nose
Beats his old lady with a rubber hose
Then he takes her out to dinner, buys her new clothes
That’s the way that the world goes ’round

That’s the way that the world goes ’round
You’re up one day, the next you’re down
It’s half an inch of water and you think you’re gonna drown
That’s the way that the world goes ’round

I was sitting in the bathtub, counting my toes
When the radiator broke, water all froze
I got stuck in the ice without my clothes
Naked as the eyes of a clown

I was crying, “Ice cube”, hoping I’d croak
When the sun come through the window, the ice all broke
I stood up and laughed, thought it was a joke
That’s the way that the world goes ’round

That’s the way that the world goes ’round
You’re up one day, the next you’re down
It’s half an inch of water and you think you’re gonna drown
That’s the way that the world goes ’round

That’s the way that the world goes ’round
You’re up one day, the next you’re down
It’s half an inch of water and you think you’re gonna drown
That’s the way that the world goes ’round
That’s the way that the world goes ’round
That’s the way that the world goes ’round

(Suggested by Lono /hat tip.)

The Friday Fives

1. Tough week for me, I need a laugh. What is your best “Dad” joke?
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.Â
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

2. As we all shelter in place, what are you cooking in the kitchen?
Bread and baking things.

3. If Gordan Ramsay had to use your kitchen, what would he be most angry about?
An electric stove, you are ridiculous!

4 What has surprised you about self-distancing and staying at home?
I pace a lot and have no sense of concentration.

5. Today was supposed to be opening day. Usually, I am downtown for this mess. What do you miss most in these days sheltering from the viral storm?
Barstools. I miss barstools – and people watching.

Friday Fives

1. What’s the worst potato chip flavor you’ve ever tasted?

That’s a tough one as I really like potato chips.  But probably the worst was was a beef German sausage flavored bag of chips.  Something was just not right.

2. The weirdest thing that happened to you this week?

Started working from home managing a 70 seat call center virtually.

3. What’s the best bad decision you ever made?

Going to work at Transameric – way in over my head, no training, pay cut, but I genuinely like my job

4. Best song for the apocalypse?

REM’s End of the World is too obvious.  Going to a bit more obscure – Dirty Blvd -by Lou Reed.

5. You have been appointed Gosh, God’s assistant for smaller, less serious everyday business. What are some of your policies and if necessary, how do you explain them to/conceal them from your boss?

Gosh has the power to clean up after people is a snap.  But hide it, the clean up only last for about a week – so there is a good chance God will miss it. 

The Friday Fives

1. What thing should never be mentioned in a job interview?
That time when I was on that month-long coke binge and spent all my time jacking 7-111. I thought of it as effective project management of a process that had a good return on the dollar. Very few recruiters seemed to agree.

2. What is the silliest thing you have heard people say about you?
I am cocky. Lord, it is so the opposite, and least inside my head.

3. What hobby/activity/anything would be a lot cooler if you added “but with fire” at the end?
Archery hunting. Venison on fire – comes to the table precooked.

4. What job is a bad idea to do from home?
Generally any of the surgical sciences and practices.

5. What is a weird food combination you really enjoy?