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1. If you had a racehorse. What would you call it?
2. Have you ever named your car/truck?
3. Do you have a nickname? What’s the story behind it?
Wah. Started while I was working at a call center for Ryder Trucks and my manager was a hockey mom and she started calling me Wah and it kind of stuck. (There is also R-Dub and RW which I also answer to.)
4. Besides a nickname, what other name would you go by if you could change your name?
Pete. A good basic, no explanation behind it necessary. A solid name – Pete.
5. If you could name a new letter in the alphabet what would it be and how/when would it be used?
Gelmon. It lands right after Gelmon and would be used in the spelling of slurred words to make them easier to understand.
1. What “old person” things do you do?
I go to bed early. On Sunday mornings I listen to my favorite radio show and do the New York Times Crossword puzzle.
2. What is one simple thing that you still can’t do?
My handwriting is still pretty dismal and I am incapable of doing most division in my head.
3. What is a lesson you only had to learn once? What’s the story behind it?
Be careful when taking a new job to listen to the voice in the back of your head and not take the job.
4. What is one random act of kindness a stranger did for you?
Well, there was that blow job in Geneva, but I will save that for another time. (She thought I was Canadian.)
5. What was the nicest thing you’ve done yesterday?
I gave up my seat on the light rail to an older gentleman who seemed in pain and harried at the thought of standing holding to the rail during the trip.
1. What’s a sketchy cheap buy which ended up being one of your best purchases.
Well, this is a very recent purchase On Amazon Prime Day in July, sight unseen, I bought a queen-sized bed mattress, for less than $250.00. I haven’t slept better in years.
2. What car would you buy from any era if you had 20k bucks?
I have always had a love/lust affair from one of those super lush Bugattis from around the 1920s.
3. You have won $100,000,000 in a Lottery, Only Catch is you can ONLY buy things that start with Your First Name Initial, What are you buying?
R – should be pretty simple. hmm. The Rocky Mountains?
4. You would be rich if you had a dollar for every time what?
This is unfortunate to admit, but hardly a secret. Picking my nose. I’d be a trillionaire.
5. What is your go-to phrase to low-key piss someone else off?
I stole this from Jim Ward from The Stephanie Miller Show, but it is perfect. “It’s not patronizing, it’s condescending – there’s a difference.”
1. Add Fukin’ to any band name. Which band escalates from 0 to 100 the fastest.
Fukin’ Dokken! ?
2. What’s your “I fuked up” moment?
I am so clumsy and sometimes just obtuse so there are many, but generally, I would say the entire 8 month Viasat ordeal.
3. What’s your “Here just take my fukin’ money!” product or service.
Xfinity. I just can’t seem to unplug.
4. What’s a simple fukin’ thing to do that people just don’t seem to understand?
I am a broken record on this, but Jesus Fukin’ Christo, people – use your blinkers!
5. What’s the fukin’ deal?
The only thing that I can figure is on 11/8/16 our nation suffered from a temporary psychosis. I mean really. Donald Trump was elected president. I am still stumped.
1. You get to make one law that goes into effect no matter how outrageous. What is it?
Tie Tuesday. Everyone has to dress up in their “Sunday Best” to work or where ever on Tuesday. One day a week we dress like Doris Day and Carey Grant. Not a bad thing, not at all.
2. You get to host your own TV talk show. Who are your first three guests?
1. David Letterman
2. Author and Colorado School of Mines graduate George Saunders
3. Bruce Springsteen as musical guest
I will not take a moment to defend any of these as this list is perfection.
3. You get to choose the actor to portray you in the movie made of your life. Who do you cast?
I have vacillated over this for a bit. It is either Dick Van Dyke or Bill Murray. Hmmm. I am going with Bill. He is my fashion idol. Now, if this has to be a contemporary actor (or even younger!) maybe Seth Myers?
4. You just got arrested for murder in the middle of the night while you were in bed. They say you killed a mailman on March 10, 2019. How do you prove your innocence?
I can definitively show that no one entered or left my home on March 10 in the evening. At that time I was unemployed and semi-permanently ensconced on my couch. Here is my web traffic and phone GPS traffic. I ain’t been nowhere, man.
5. You have unlimited resources and seven days to end the world in the most creative way possible. How would you do it?
I would meld the personas of Q from Star Trek (TNG) and the Stay Puft Marshmallow man and let him wreak his havoc.