Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. What is your favorite drink recipe?
The Harvey Wallbanger
Vodka (I am fond of Kettel One), Cointreu, Orange Juice, Ice in a pint glass. Stir vigorously. Add a floater of Galliano to the top and enjoy. It’s like an old-fashioned orange creamsicle.

The Gin and Tonic
Gin, tonic,lime in a high ball class – stir vigoursly. Enjoy.

And in colder months a Martini. 7 shots premium gin (Bombay Blue Saphirre is my choice) one half shot vermouth. shake in an ice cold shaker full of ice.
Pour some vermouth into a cocktail glass and swirl and rinse. Discard the vermouth. Fill the glass with ice to chill.
Shake, shake, shake, shake. When ice has take over the outside of the shaker, it has been shaken enough.

Discard the ice in the cocktail glass and strain your drink into it. Serve with a cocktail onion or a pepperoncini.

2. What is your favorite comfort food?
Smothered burritos with homemade green chili. Or lasagna. Depending on the mood. I do turn to food when I am anxious. I tend to also migrate to candy as a comfort food – Red Vines and gummy bears are constant companions for anxiety.

3. What is your favorite comfort song?
This is tough. I love music and usually have something going all the time. But the favorite comfort song would be that song you play over and over and over again. Hmmmmmm. I think recently it would be “Lonesome Day” by Springsteen.

Lonesome Day (Bruce Springsteen, 2002)
Baby once I thought I knew,
everything I needed to know about you.
Your sweet whisper, your tender touch;
I didn’t really know that much.
Jokes on me, but it’s gonna be OK,
if I can just get through this Lonesome Day.

Hell is brewing, dark sun’s on the rise,
this storm’ll blow through by and by.
House is on fire, vipers in the grass,
a little revenge and this too shall pass.
This too shall pass, darling, I’m gonna pray.
Right now, all I got’s this Lonesome Day.

It’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, yeah (3x)
it’s all right, it’s all right…

Better ask questions before you shoot.
Deceit and betrayal’s bitter fruit.
It’s hard to swallow, come time to pay,
that taste on your tongue don’t easily slip away.
Let kingdom come, I’m gonna find my way,
after this Lonesome Day.

It’s all right, it’s all right, it’s all right, yeah (6x)

4. In a world without television, what do you do on a rainy/snowy day?
Write in my journal. Play computer chess. Cook – (usually bread or something complicated.)

5. Rabbit’s foot or horseshoe? What is your lucky totem?
Well, after last weekend’s gambling fest in Central City, I would say I am running totemless. But I do keep a polished blue rock in my pocket that reminds me of my dad.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. Fox? NBC? MTV? Which is your favorite channel?
For general network television, NBC. For cable stuff, HBO, Trio and BBC America. And I power surf a lot. I love finding old movies or old movies from the 1980s that I haven’t found in years. HBO is really a premium network. I usually spend all night on Sunday just hunkered down in front of the glowing blue hue starring at anything they put in front of me. I am such a rube. BBC America runs some very cool British mystery dramas on Monday nights. And Trio runs on a rather sporadic basis, old school Late Night with David Letterman reruns from his NBC years.

2. Who is the oldest person you can remember? Why?
I am at a certain advantage here for two reasons. My first job was working in the kitchen of an old folks home and I met several centarians. As a newspaper reporter I interviewed a delightful older lady who was 103 years old and an older gentleman who was 102. I don’t imagine they lived the Guiness/Bacon low carb diet that I am currently perfecting and soon to publish. But if there is even a hint they lived close to my diet, I will use them to sell my book, the new diet revolution!

3. What two colors most clash?
Orange and teal? (I tried to make these words all fancy with colors but it was no avail. When I tried it the annoying banner add at the top of the page is placed all over the web page. Now that is clashing. Let me tell you. )

4. Have you ever gone spelunking?
Not for any long periods of time. There is a very cool old series of caves outside of Meeker, Colorado, not far from my mother and her husband’s summer cabin. It is called Spring Caves and I would love to venture in there and look around. We were planning a trip once in high school as part of a Boy Scout outing, but we could never get enough parent permission slips. Apparently grown ups aren’t as curious about caving as your average 15 year old. Go figure.

5. What was the name of your third grade teacher? Can you describer her/him?
Mrs. Archuleta. A fowl-mouthed Mexican woman who had a very, very hot temper and would yell at the class in Spanish. We imagine they were Spanish epithets, but since no one in the class spoke Spanish, we just assumed we were being cussed at. It was the period around third and fourth grade, my bad teacher years, that I developed and ulcer and was put on a fairly aggressive dosing of Mylanta, dispensed by the school nurse a couple of times a day. Is it any wonder I have high blood pressure today? I think not.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. What are your favorite magazines, including the embarrassing ones?
Harpers, Wired, Family Circle (Okay, I dig the recipe/meal planner thing, quit teasing.) When they were still being published I used to love Games, Spy and Omni magazine. I don’t read as many magazines now – I read the internet instead.

2. What is the funniest thing you have ever said.
Without blowing too much hubris, I am a pretty funny guy. I come from a pretty funny family. I can’t pin point the funniest thing I have said, however the funniest things I say, I usually say them using a phony Kentucky Colonel accent, like my hero, Foghorn leghorn. A lot of the funny things I have said have been crafted while with the gang: Ed, Julie, Fun Shelly, Sage and the crew. So it is hard to take credit for the riff and the tangent that the group has set out on. But I think in the last week the riff that was the funniest bit of banter is our version of the poor English speaking weather man on the Spanish speaking channel. “Ewwww it is windy!” (You have to see the bit to really appreciate it.)

3. What is the best movie you have NEVER seen this year.
Passion of the Christ? Miracle? Troy? Or a delightful imagined film based on the life of Willard Scott – entitled “How the Windbag Blows.” Directed by Ridley Scott and starring Mike Meyers as everyone’s favorite weatherman.

4. If you were a boardgame, which one would you be?
Clue. I really want to live in that mansion. With all of those secret passageways and tunnels. And what a colorful and wacky group of friends. Good time, baby. Good times.

5. Tell us how to make your favorite sandwich.
Roy’s Toasted Cheese Sandwich
Two pieces of sourdough bread – buttered on both sides.
A few thin slices of red onion
A few thin slices of tomato
A few slices of a mixture of cheeses: sharp cheddar, Monterey jack, a strong Swiss or gouda.

Combine and ensure there is cheese next to the bread and the veggies are surrounded by cheese.

In a pre heated cast iron skillet on medium high heat, grill for two to three minutes on each side.

Step Five – enjoy.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. How do you take your coco? (marshmallows?) Ice tea (sweet?) your soda

I found a cool “Butterfingers” flavored hot cocoa mix last winter. Peanut butter, toffee, chocolate all in one. And forego marshmallows for cocoa and go for the marshmallow cream. Super yummy. I drink sweet tea. as they say down south, although I cheat. I put ” sweet and low” (the pink stuff) in my tea. I always have, even as a child. I was recently diagnosed with hypertension. High blood pressure. And so I am attempting to limit my caffeine. I am going to start drinking decaf ice tea during the day to see if it will help. It will probably cut my caffeine intake in half. I generally detest diet soda. But Coca-Cola now has a diet variety with lime flavor. Pretty yummy. An ice cold Coke with lime is pretty damn good.

2. What is your favorite television commercial (past or

I loved the old Oscar Mayer commercials with some super cute kid singing the B-O-L-O-G-N-A song. Mason Reese, that was his name. I am a bit frightened that I remember that. And it isn’t more than just a coincidence, but I also enjoy the new Nextel commercials. The one with the emus running amok in Manhattan is my favorite, since my mom and Jim have a few emus at the ranch.

3. When was the last time you laughed so hard you had to

With this new blood pressure medicine, peeing is what I do best now. Pee, pee, pee, pee. But the last time I laughed so hard I had to pee was Monday evening. Mike Meyers was the guest on “Inside the Actors Studio.” It was a repeat of a special two hour interview and Meyers stole the show. He was so fricking funny, I literally had to run to the little boys room after the laughter. If you ever get a chance to watch it, do.

4. Dishes or trash? Fold or send out? Mow or vacume?
I do the dishes and leave the trash for my sister. I should send my shirts out. For laundry, if it can’t get hung up on a hanger in the closet, it stays in the laundry baskets. (one for skivvies, one for soxs. ) If I had a yard, I would be the one charged with the mowing. I am an excellent lawn mower. Fancy designs etched into the turf. Truly a work of art when all is said and done.

5. Diet Dr. Pepper or Red Bull?
Red Bull and vodka. Diet Dr. Pepper is good, but not really considered a staple. And frankly, what can be mixed with Dr. Pepper at the end of the day. Nothing.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. Worst. Book. Ever.
Without Remorse, by Tom Clancy. Schlock, pure unadulatered schlock. I read every word. There are a number of very bad books and I tend to flock towards them. Ben Stein, oh he of Comedy Central, wrote a really bad spy novel that I bought at a thrift store. It is so bad I can’t even find the title on Amazon. I wasn’t impressed with Lie Down in Darness by Styron but will probably give it another chance now that I have matured passed my college days. And next, although it isn’t a book, it is a play, I must mention Shakespeare’s Coriolanus. It was tedious and lacked humility and reading it just made me bitter.
This really isn’t fair. I had to read a lot of stuff as an English major in college and I have a more concrete idea of “Worst.Author.Ever” compared to “Worst.Book.Ever.” The worst author ever is easy. Tom Clancy.

2. If you pick three films that you love that no one else seems to know, what would they be?
1. The Creator – Great performance by Peter O’ Toole.
2. Miller’s Crossing – The Best.Cohen Brothers.Movie.
3. The Great Train Robbery – Sean Connery, Donald Sutherland, Lesley Anne Down. Written and directed by Michael Crichton.

3. What’s the most unethical and/or illegal thing you ever got away with?
When I got laid off from a truck renting company’s customer service department, they kept paying me for 6 months. I left with severance and vacation pay and then still kept getting paid. I didn’t tell a sole. Well, except for my family and friends. They were worried about my spending, so I had to tell them all was well. But I never told my former employer, that’s for sure.

4. As usual, I’m running late for work. What do you do every morning before you leave home?
Look for my building ID badge! I have a pretty set routine: morning television news, shit, shower, shave, dress, breakfast (cereal, superfood, toast) and then assemble the day’s needs: celll phone, badge, keys, wallet, brief bag. NPR or CDs and off to the morning commute.

5. Write a haiku about how hot you are.

The ass is sagging

I turn 40-years this month

My wit keeps me hot

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. How are your map reading skills. What is your favorite “Road trip” memory.?
I have pretty good map reading skills. I am an Eagle Scout, for crying out loud. Factor in my Army time and the few hikes I took to the hills as a boy and as a college student and I am confident that given a map and a compass, I can find my way home. However, it is always important to remember to keep the mountains to the west and know that on the west side of the great divide, rivers and streams run to the west. On the east side, it is just the opposite. But there is a place over in Clear Creek County where the river runs West and it really should run East. So just go figure. A fav road trip? It would have be the trip we took in the Army from Germany to London in a jeep. We got lost in Luxemborg, fell asleep on the Channel Ferry and nearly forgot to get out of the car and we had so little time that the site seeing tour of London lasted about two hours. Crazy, crazy trip.

2. Have you ever shoplifted?
Yes, I admit it. As a teen I used to “take” things out of Kmart. It was the easiest store in the world to rip off. A small town with a quaint naivete, they had no idea they were supplying me with a few cassettes and magazines. This didn’t last long. I wasn’t a career criminal or anything like that. It was over the course of about three weeks one summer. And eventually I had convinced myself that the entire world was on to me, that everyone knew I was a crook. It was against everything I was taught (did I mention I am an Eagle Scout?) Also, I have been known to take a glass or mug or two from a bar. That is probably shoftlifting as well.

3. What is your first thought in your head in the morning? What was your last thought last night?
First thought? “Cat, stop playing with my toes!” This happens EVERY morning around 3:30 a.m. Last thought? “What would I do with my lottery winnings?” A lottery ticket is a ticket to dream. And baby I have spent that fortune in my head on several different occassions.

4. What was your favorite children’s television show? What is it now (children’s show, that is.)
Favorite as a child: A tie between Zoom and The Big Blue Marble on PBS. Now: A tie between Bill Nye the Science Guy and Daria, both showing on Ngn.

5. What’s your zodiac sign? What year in the Chinese calendar were you born? Do you put stock in any of this?
I am a Gemini. Those that follow the stars tell me I am pretty textbook Gemini:
“Gemini is communicative, versatile, can be talkative, and is very curious. Curious, curious, curious… I?ll say it one more time – curious. Gemini energy loves to know how things work. And Gemini energy thrives on knowing what makes other people tick. And when curiosity gets the better of Gemini energy, Gemini may even say scandalous, shocking things or perform outrageous acts for no other purpose or reason than Gemini was “curious” and wanted to see what would happen. Gemini enjoys knowing a little about everything, and Gemini can be the penultimate “jack of all trades, master of none…” Now, of course, I also know that Gemini can get a bit upset over this notoriety and their alleged expertise in skimming the surface of subjects. But tell the truth… We both know it?s a reputation which has been honestly earned (don?t we, Gemini)? C’mon, you can’t kid a kidder! And one more important thing to know about Gemini… Hermes (Mercury, the ruler of Gemini), by some accounts, was the god who originally owned and wore the “Helmet of Invisibility.” This Helmet happens to be the very same Helmet of Invisibility more typically associated with the hidden god of the underworld Hades (Pluto, the ruler of Scorpio). Apparently Hades was merely borrowing the helmet from Hermes. So Mercury (the ruler of Gemini), like Pluto, revels in (and loves) working silently, invisibly behind the scenes. So, while Scorpio is the sign most notorious for being secretive, Gemini is certainly no slacker in the area of being secretive and keeping things under their hat.

I was born in the year of the Dragon:
“1916, 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000: People born in the Year of the Dragon are healthy, energetic, excitable, short-tempered, and stubborn. They are also honest, sensitive, brave, and they inspire confidence and trust. Dragon people are the most eccentric of any in the eastern zodiac. They neither borrow money nor make flowery speeches, but they tend to be soft-hearted which sometimes gives others an advantage over them. They are compatible with Rats, Snakes, Monkeys, and Roosters. ”

Yep, that’s pretty much me as well.

Friday Fives this week via Roy.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. Where are you right now? Weather? Temperature?.
At work in the Inverness Tech Center in beautiful scenic Englewood, CO. Snowing and rain. 30 degrees.

2. What have you lost recently? What were the consequences?
The most recent “lost” item, as in never to be seen again, is a pair of glasses. I had them in a case and was walking to my car. They were my spare pair while my “good” lenses were getting fixed at the opticians. I ended up having to wear an old pair for about a week. Kind of a bummer. The glasses were an old prescription but the sunglasses were a current prescription and it was a bit tiring on the eyes.

3. What was the first CD you ever purchased? Does that embarrass you now?
The first CD was “Born In The USA by Bruce Springsteen. Followed a replacement CD, “Synchronicity” by The Police.

4. Fountain or Ball Point?
Pilot P-700 .07 Ink Gell rolling writer. A great, great pen and cheap. You can usually buy a dozen or so at Office Max or Costco for about 4 bucks.

5. Crest or Colgate?
Crest. Although I recently switched to the Crest orange flavored toothpaste. It is disappointing. Sure, it tastes great but it doesn’t have that “slap-your-ass-and-wake-up” effect of traditional flavored toothpaste.

via Friday Fives.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. What do you do for a living?
I am a “Fraud Specialist” at Nextel. Basically, I look at a few accounts everyday and determine if they were set up using fraudulent credit. I basically follow our sales force around the database and undue what they have done because they are working so hard to get a commission that they cut corners. But I also work on issues of identity theft and account hijacking and adjust charges/deactivate accounts were invalid charges have occurred.

2. What do you like most about your job?
I am generally do a good thing and am actually contributing to some good in the world. It is a laid back department with smart people and a very generous corporation.

3. What do you like least about your job?
When I close one of our tickets wrong, I know I will get dinged the next day and it irritates me that I can let little things like that slip by.

4. When you have a bad day at work it’s usually because _____…
I am unable to fulfill God’s glory and message while pinned in my cube.

5. What other career(s) are you interested in?
Porn. *

*(see the dichotomy between 4 and 5? That is a joke, you see. We built the foundation in the joke in number 4 when I made up the crap about Jesus and then slammed the joke home, (in the humor parlance, “the hammer”) by going the other way – again in the world of humor writing a misdirection – by tossing in the porn reference.)

via Friday Fives.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. What’s your favorite animal?
It used to be dogs. And it used to be a Scottish terrier, most importantly, Whiskey, the wonder dog, the most brilliant and talented dog that ever lived. If I ever get an other dog, it will probably be a Scotty. But a few year’s back, a few very dear friends got me a cat. Brando, the wonder cat, the most brilliant and talented cat that ever lived. Cats are certainly moving up on my list. However not just any cat. Brando, the wonder cat, the most brilliant and talented cat that ever lived is a very cool, suave cat. He is part puppy and part puma. Some cats, they just swing that way, babe.

2. What pets have you had in your lifetime?
Well, there are the two listed above, primarily. Family pets included a Spitz dog named Gigi. And there was a Rat terrier named Abigail and my sister’s first dog, Molly, a dim brained Labrador/Golden Retriever mix. There was Mom’s cat, Olivia. And another family dog, Rudy that I barely remember at all. Dad was a sucker for stray dogs and was known to bring a few home from time to time until an owner could be found.

3. Is there any specific pet that you’ve wanted but never had? Why?
Monkey! Need I say more. We used to have a cousin who lived in Denver and he was famous to us as children because he had a pet chimp. That’s right a chimpanzee – and part of the family. Honestly, I would dig having a chimp. I also want a real tall and smart standard poodle. They are cool dogs.

4. Are you allergic to any animals?
I am pretty sure I am allergic to gerbils/hamsters. I had a roommate in college who had a gerbil/hamster (Is there really any difference) And that was only time I broke out, head to toe in hives and was painfully sick with an allergic reaction. I am certain it was those vermin pets.

5. Do you have any ‘pet’ pet peeves (your pets or others’)?
Not using your signal in traffic, primary pet peeve. Having a set opinion and unwavering in the ability to change your mood/opinion – pet peeve number two. Rats, snakes, gerbil/hamster/chinchilla/guinea pigs, most birds, ferrets/minks, pigs – these are not pets and in most case they would be soup. Pet peeve three: Owning any of the above animals and calling them pets. It ain’t right.

via Friday Fives.

Friday Fives

Friday Fives

1. What was your first job?
I was a diswasher/dining room buser at an old folks home. I was 15 years old and looking right into the eye of aging, alzheimer’s and death. As a first job it really grounded me. I would be playing checkers with some charming old man one day and come in to work the next and that same guy had a stroke the night before and was very much a changed man. I remember finding a set of teeth in the soup bowls and often had to break up a few fights at the table as the old folks would bicker with each other over the condiments.

2. How old were you when you had your first kiss?
The real kiss, with fireworks and everything I was 16 on a high school band trip one summer. We were in Portland, OR for their annual Rose Festival and I met a girl. The rest of the story has been related in thousands of teen angst rock songs.

3. What was your first car? What happened to it?
It was a family hand-me-down. A 1968 Ford Galaxy Custom 500 with a standard “three on the tree” transmission. Fun to drive. It was eventually passed on to some cousins as their childs’ first car – or something like that.

4. What was your first concert?
The Rolling Stones, 1981, Folsum Field, Boulder, Colorado, Tatoo You tour.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?
A movie tonight and some beers with friends after work. Sunday is the weekly Soprano’s potluck and food/wine fest. Saturday is still wide open.

via Kevin.