1. What’s a one-liner joke so stupidly good it instantly ruined you?
“What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. “
2. What is your favorite and least favorite part of your job?
Favorite: The ability to work from home a few days a week. I don’t need it all the time and enjoy being in the office with coworkers but a few days (Friday and Monday) is a nice balance.
Least Favorite: Terminating employees for something stupid like poor attendance.
3. You’ve just become president of the world; what’s your first action?
I would ban coal and the oil and gas industries. Get off the pipe, boys!
4. If a celebrity were revealed to be an undercover alien, then who would be the least surprising?
Crispin Glover
5. You are arrested. Which Celebrity would you pick as your lawyer?
Duh! Joe Pesci.
1) Let’s make like a baby and head out.
2) Favorite: independent contractor and work from home or wherever and set my own timeline (mostly). Least favorite: It would be good to have more face-to-face with coworkers. Both for the social aspect, but also I am losing my diplomatic edge when it comes to knowing when to shut the fuck up. I am pretty much feral now with regards to being in a professional setting.
3) Clearly, as of late, we have seen our governmental system is very easy for the president to walk all over with no fear of repercussion or removal, so kind of feeling these days like it would not matter what i did, either it would be reversed after I left office or it would be way to self serving.
4) Dolly. I am glad she finally got to go home to here home planet of cool people.
5) Duh Matthew McConaughey. He has the most experience in all sorts of cases and time periods (Time to Kill, Amistad and the Lincoln Lawyer), and has shown that he is morally good overall, but willing to work with me when ethical flexibility is needed.
1. Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey Sarah Jessica, why the long face?” (Secretariat was the subject of the original version of this “joke,” but pretty much anyone could work–Julia Roberts et. al.)
2. My present vocation is care giver to my mom. As I know so many people who have lost their moms, I feel quite fortunate to have this time with her. The worst part so far is that I’m forgetting how to curse. “Doggone it!” has replaced most F bombs.
3. Abolish all theocracies. Getting rid of God will make my new job a lot easier.
4. Paul Rudd. It would explain the whole “never aging” thing.
5. Dennis Leary. I think he’d raise a huge stink at the precinct as well as during any trial.
1) When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes “apparent”.
2) Best: truly doing a great job and the patient waking up in recovery pain managed no nausea and clueless how they got there.
Worst: douche bag surgeons, awake patients, charting
3) Three things will no longer be for profit in any way shape or form. 1: Education 2: Healthcare 3: prisons regardless of political ideations if you are healthy, educated and not in prison the likelihood that you’re useful increases.
4) Willem Dafoe
5) Gabriel Macht, you gonna tell me Harvey Specter couldn’t get me out of it?