1. What holiday movie are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?
The live action Grinch Who Stole Christmas remake with Jim Carrey. Bad movie. Stay with the cute, 30-monute animated gem, folks.
2. What completely baseless holiday season conspiracy would you like to start?
The Elf on The Shelf is a part of an NSA plot to learn you secret family Christmas cookie recipe.
3. What holiday song are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?
“All I Want for Christmas” by Mariah Carrey. Not a great song.
4. What holiday food/beverage are you convinced people only pretend to enjoy?
Eggnog.
5. What is the weirdest holiday gift suggestion you have discovered while shopping onlline?
Giving a gift of a cow to a village in Asia or Africa. Heifer.org
1. “It’s a Wonderful Life.” More like “What a Tedious Piece of Crap.”
2. Santa is a slave master. And he’s Chinese.
3. All of them? Honestly, when you don’t believe in God, and question the mere existence of Jesus, all of this superstitious bullshit AND the songs about it can go to hell (also a made-up thing).
4. Dried fruit. Why?
5. The “Scaly Swamp Monster 3 Foot Giant Dildo.” (You did specify “weird”)
1) Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Seriously could there be a shittier example if bullying and treating someone like a piece of shit until you need them?
2) The democrats want Santa to be black. I think this sort of stupidity could only be believed by todays republicans.
3) Feliz Navidad, monotonous repetitive bag if crap.
4) Fruitcake. Seriously why the hell does anyone make that garbage.
5) Pee and Poo stuffed plush toys. Isn’t Potty Humor fun?! Don’t you want to cuddle with a defecation-themed plushy?!