The Friday Fives

1. Do you remember the first time you heard a “curse” word?

It was my Grandpa Nall. We were out in his shop out back, tinkering, and he dropped something and screamed out, “Damn it!” I was probably four or five years old and come from a home where swearing was just not part of the vocabulary.

2. Do you remember the first time you uttered a “curse” word?

Probably on a Boy Scout outing and knowing my clumsiness while hammering in tent spikes.

3. Besides “fuck” (because that is the undisputed best curse word!), what is the best “curse” word?

You can, of course, choose any of the words from George Carlin’s Seven Words list but for pure profane cursed perfection, go with Shakespeare: “Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood.” King Lear.

4. Have you ever heard your grandparents use profanity?

See above. But, in addition to the above, I saw my grandma flip the bird at another driver in rush-hour Grand Junction traffic. I seem to remember a cigarette hanging from her lips at the time as well.

5. What was the first “R” rated movie you saw without your parents?

Probably Jaws on HBO when I was about 15 or 16?

2 Replies to “The Friday Fives”

  1. 1) I don’t remember, probably my dad while working on one of his big projects when I was a little tyke.

    2) We used curse words in elementary, but they were elementary so probably damn or asshole.

    3) Twat. It is not much at first glance, but the impact is usually much better than other words. It’s both condescending and letting you know you’re not really worth a hardcore curse word.

    4) I don’t think I ever did.

    5) My Bloody Valentine 1981 version. When $1 Tuesdays became a thing in the late 70s early 80s my dad would drop me off at the local movie theater to see a movie while he probably went to the bar or something. I had a big old lump in my stomach for the entire movie. The next one was The Thing with Kurt Russell, which is still a great movie!

  2. 1) I was 5 my older brother was in the driveway swinging a baseball bat. You know taking some serious practice cuts. My younger brother only 3 wandered into the follow through of one of these home run cuts getting struck dead center of his forehead, lifted him off his feet knocked out cold. My mom saw this and screamed at my older brother, “You fucking asshole you just hit your brother!”

    2) I don’t recall the first, swearing has been such a constant part of my life it feels like I started swearing as soon as I started talking.

    3) In the US I love using cunt because it still has enough shock value that people turn their heads. In Europe or Australia it’s just another common curse word.

    4) When golfing with my grandmother I once heard her say shit after a bad shot. But it was pretty rare.

    5) I don’t recall. Probable that I was taken to it by my brother when we were supposed to be seeing something else.

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