The Friday Fives

1. What would you be doing right now if you were a billionaire?

Sitting in a board room with a nonprofit trying to figure out where to give some of this money. I would never need that much money. Give me a nice obscene stipend of like $750 Gs a year and the rest goes into a trust to spread the love.

2. If you could smoke weed with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

Kurt Vonnegut. I know from past meet-ups that he is a great storyteller. Get him fired up on some weed and you are going to hear some shit – that man lived through it.

3. What was the first thing you learned to cook (not that childhood thing like eggs/breakfast or that after-school pizza thing, but a grown-up made it from the scratch dish?

My Mom;’s lasagne, which I have talked about on these pages before but I still fondly recall in her kitchen making it from scratch with just a little bit of coaching from her.

4. What’s your favorite palindrome?

I remember one: “Able was I Ere I saw Elba” Which was about Napoleon. But my real favorite word/language trick is the even more delicious Semordnilap – (which is palindromes spelled backward) and means a completely different word when spelled backward,
For example: Oprah – Harpo; Evil – Live.

5. What is a low-effort dish that still wows people at a potluck?

This is so easy (I may have posted about this before -but anyway)
One chuck roast (a cheap cut of beef.)
A jar of Pepperoncinis
Maybe some kitchen bouquet or the like to help give some roasted flavor.

Trim some of the fat off the roast and toss it whole into the crockpot. Dump in the jar of pepperoncini
add a dash or so of the kitchen bouquet.

Cook on low for about 6 to 8 hours.

Remove the roast and shred with a fork

Serve on hard rolls like a kaiser roll or weck with the peppers on the side.

Too easy and really yummy.

3 Replies to “The Friday Fives”

  1. 1) Learning to surf in a tropical location with a personal instructor.

    2) Probably someone alive that would be more enjoyable. I’d choose Will Farrell, talk about endless giggling and laughter.

    3) A crusted Parmesan chicken dish. It’s yummy.

    4) Umm what? Radar

    5) Chicken breasts in the crock pot. Dump medium salsa until covered. Cook on low until shreadable. Shred the chicken then use as meat for chicken tacos or burritos. Yumm!

  2. *** before I copy/paste my answers, I wanted to share a great Vonnegut story I read about. At college, he would walk into classes he wasn’t enrolled in on their last day. He would grab the final exam and tear it up and stomp out. just for shits and giggles.

    What would you be doing right now if you were a billionaire?

    Maybe this. I am quite happy where and when I am. I guess I wouldn’t be working, but I would be up and reading and typing and watching the snow fall. Ok, total disclosure? I’d prolly still be sleeping. I am a night person. It sucks, but it is who I am.

    If you could smoke weed with one person, dead or alive, who would it be?

    I know no one on earth believes me, but I don’t smoke weed. Not for moral or legal or health reasons… only because it totally freaks me out and makes me paranoid. Anyway, you want me to say Willie Nelson or Snoop, right? No, and here is why. Those guys are always stoned. So, you aren’t going to get any insight from them.

    If there is anyone in the last 100 years I’d like to crack into their brain – it would be Nelson Mandela. I think he is one of the most important people ever, certainly in my lifetime. They say that Jesus died for your sins? Well, Nelson Mandela lived for them. Plus, I am guessing he didn’t smoke a lot of weed. I bet we could get real deep, and real giggly, together.

    What was the first thing you learned to cook (not that childhood thing like eggs/breakfast or that after-school pizza thing, but a grown-up made it from the scratch dish?

    Chicken and vegetables over noodles. Spicy and yummy, and different every time. As an adult, it is expected you can cook… and I can. At like 18, though? People were impressed. It also looked like I could cook anything. Not really, mostly just that. Now… I got it. Give me a meat – any meat – a starch, some veggies, and some spice and I will make something dope.

    What’s your favorite palindrome?

    Boob. It’s a perfect word, it’s a perfect thing. If you are religious, its proof there is a god. And, perhaps most importantly… you can spell it out on calculator.

    What is a low-effort dish that still wows people at a potluck?

    Whatever my wifey makes. This may or may not make sense, but I do the cooking nightly. Every night I cook dinner from scratch, and I love it. We have a plan about 50% of the time. Wifey is a good cook, too, though. She just doesn’t love it like I do. But she loves cooking for special events. So, whenever we are bringing something over to the neighbors, she will always make it. its less work for me, which is nice.

    BUT… lets admit I am a teeny tiny resentful. I cook 99% of the meals, and anyone around us must assume wifey does all the cooking. Ok, one more thing I am a teeny resentful for. She makes the best and yummiest dishes for these events… but not for us. Oh, you made a lasagna for Billy’s party? Now nice. How about making one for us? No? um. Ok. ?

    How about that for some first world problems, eh! I should not complain. Her best, and signature dish is Paella. A proper Paella is a TON of work. It even requires a very specific pan. Long ago, we went to Barcelona and around Spain. Paella was everywhere. Every restaurant had it, and it was always cheap and delicious. I think it was cheap because they made it in metric tons. It’s a pretty expensive dish to make – shrimp, clams, good sausage, special rice, special pan… but its super worth it. It take Saffron. Saffron is the most expensive thing on Earth. More valuable and cost than diamonds or gold. See this? That weighs less than a piece of notebook paper. That is probably $100 worth of Saffron.
    https://static.onecms.io/wp-content/uploads/sites/34/2020/03/coupe-grade-spanish-saffron-0320-.jpg

    *** here is how perfect Paella is – you know I top EVERY ‘Friday Fives’ with a mandala. Its an homage to CG Jung. Well, a proper Paella is laid like a mandala. A proper mandala is also a Buddhist thing that is made of sand by monks. And the second its done, it is destroyed. A paella is like that, in that once its done and beautiful… it gets eaten.

  3. 1) Helping buy land to keep it out of the hands of corporations and sprawl.

    2) John Lennon, hands down.

    3) A nice lemon flavored poached salmon.

    4) I love palindromes. So much in fact I named my twins with palindrome names on purpose, Elle and Emme.

    5) Smoked salmon. It’s pretty low effort, but there is a lot of down time due to the aging parts. Just rub it with salt and brown sugar, wrap it in plastic wrap and put it in the fridge for 6 hours, unwrap it and let it sit uncovered in the fridge overnight. Smoke for 6 hours. Boom! Professional smoked salmon served up with cream cheese, capers and crackers.

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