The Friday Fives

1. You can choose one species to go extinct, what would it be?
Head-in-the dirt-refuse-the-listen-to-any-logic-convinced-that-their-very-existence-on-the-planet-makes-them-right-about-anything-Right-wing-conservative-Americans.
2. If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?
Although the honey badger – he don’t give a shit – I am going with the baboon. They just love all that farting, shitting, and poo throwing – how rude.
3. What is your best example of ‘buy it before you need it?
Gasoline – don’t get sucked into “fill it up on empty.” The price of gasoline, like all prices right now, is pretty volatile – shop around and when you see it running low somewhere, pull over and fill it up.
4. If brands were brutally honest, what brand would have what slogan?
“Facebook – we know what you did last night!”
5. What are two pieces of popular advice that contradict each other?
“Always work to improve who you are” / “Be yourself”

2 Replies to “The Friday Fives”

  1. 1) I choose mosquitos. Goodbye itchy blood-sucking fuckwads.

    2) Cows. LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKING TO YOU!

    3) TP.

    4) Tobacco – second only to heroin in addictive yumminess.

    5) Dance like no one watching. Dancing with myself. So clearly no one is watching…so what the everloving fuck!

  2. 1) Religious zealots. Don’t care what your religion if you’re that obsessed, good bye.

    2) Cats, just like their real life personalities they’d be rude as holes if they could talk as well.

    3) Advil.

    4) Fast food: we make you sick but god damn it tastes good doing it.

    5) Blend in but think outside the box.

Leave a Reply to Greg Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.