The Friday Fives

1. If you could pick one fictional item to use in your daily life, what would it be?

The transporter from Star Trek. This is one life-changing device right there. Imagine the uses.  And according to the Trek lexicon, it would remove any viruses and diseases from your body upon being recombubulated.

2. How do you tell if the screaming children outside are having fun, or being chased by an ax killer?

Right outside my window is an elementary school and the darlings will be out at the various times so of the day for recess. There is always a blood-curdling screen being emitted. I almost think they are scheduled – like after little Tina screams it must always be followed by little Justin and on down the line.  I actually find it quite endearing.

3. Which TV show has had the best pilot episode?

Season 1, Episode 1 of “Lost.” In fact, the first four episodes form an amazing story arch.

4. If booby traps were legal how would you protect your home?

Pulling up “Home Alone,” the ultimate DIY bobby trap training video i go with the iced up steps with the removal of any and all handholds or leverage.

5. How would you fix America?

Two things – get the big corporate money out of the elections and let citizens vote proportionately – allowing for perhaps 10% of a vote to this person, 30% to this one, 50% to another, and so on.  It would change the tradition “First past the post” system and drastically alter the way the traditional two-party system works.

2 Replies to “The Friday Fives”

  1. 1) I think a functioning wand from Harry Potter so I could cast spells n shit.

    2) I find it best to look out the window. If one sees an ax wielding lunatic that’s probably why they’re screaming and now knowing why they’re screaming one can return to the rerun of friends they were watching prior to the screaming.

    3) Hero’s, that show had a fantastic hook to get you sucked in. Save the cheerleader save the world.

    4) Tiger traps, punji sticks, and deadfall traps.

    5) Huge election reform. Starting with a campaign cap. Once the cap is reached any additional monies will be donated to a charity of the candidates choosing. Ads are only allowed displaying what the candidates are for. No negative ads against your opponent allowed. This applies to all campaign pieces. Regardless of if it is a super pack or an individual so the candidate is responsible for all ads and expenditures for their campaign.

  2. 1) Ummm, Infinity Stones with the Thanos Gauntlet…duh. I could change all kinds of shit with that puppy. I might die doing it, but what a ride.

    2) All you have to do is yell out “______, leave your sister/brother alone.” and if the response is whiny and blamy, then no axe murderer involved. Otherwise, one less mouth to feed.

    3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

    4) Put big printed picture of actual boobies over holes with punjab spikes at the bottom of them.

    5) Hunger Games may work or go to a convergent factional system or maybe just rename our country to Oceania, so many choices…or lack of choices.

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