The Friday Fives

1. The President mistakenly declares Martian Law, instead of Martial Law. What powers does he think he has under Martian Law?

The unfortunate ability to read lips and to bore quickly into underground bunkers at will.

 2. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?

Coaching methods for better employee performance.  I can do this talk in my sleep or with the world’s worst hangover and still be very effective.

 3. What species of animal would you be most terrified of if they had the same cognitive ability as humans?

Elephants.  They are incredibly smart and super strong. If they had our instincts and cognitive ability I can only imagine the terror they would wield.

 4. What is your favorite smell and what does it remind you of?

Freshly baked (or baking) bread.  It reminds me of my mother and my youth.

 5. So far the first half of 2020 has been a wild ride. What should happen in the second half in order to compensate for all the bad things that have happened? 

The end of the Trump mistake and a cure for the ‘rona.  I am speaking for all of mankind at this point.

3 Replies to “The Friday Fives”

  1. 1) The ability to make blatantly false statements true.

    2) Cardiac rhythms and how to read an ECG.

    3) Cats! Could you imagine the amount of condescending attitude mixed with actual bitterness.

    4) Fresh cedar wood. Reminds me of camp.

    5) I should win the mega millions or Powerball, Trump gets hit by falling debris and is crushed, and a vaccine for the rona is discovered.

  2. 1) He now can just Tweet “Ack!” as his only form of communication.

    2) Kissing babies and shaking hands in the COVID era.

    3) Ants or cockroaches…the outnumber us and the swarms to overthrow us would be gross.

    4) Pine trees in the mountains.

    5) The ability to kiss babies and shake hands without Trump or Corona.

  3. 1. Invisibility. I’ve seen My Favorite Martian, so I know what I’m talking about.

    2. “Classic Bolognese Made Easy.” I was born to have a cooking show. Or be president. Still deciding.

    3. Cats. Imagine if they allowed their population to further explode, and actually do have a master plan. Scary.

    4. Coffee brewing and bacon frying. It reminds me of waking up at my grandparents house. My grandfather began each morning by making coffee in the percolator and frying bacon.

    5. One word, “assassinations.”

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