The Friday Fives

1. When someone tells you a ‘man walks into a bar’ joke, you picture the same bar each time- what does your bar look like?

The Popular Bar on Victory Way and Barclay in Craig.  One of the great dive bars in America.

2. You walk to your street and see FBI, CDC, ARNG, CIA, APHIS, DEA, USFWS, NTSB, EPA, PETA, NOAA, FAA, ATF, FDA, MORS and NSA raiding your house. What do you do and what are your thoughts?

I do what one always does and I call Julie.  Then I call up Fidelity and quickly liquidate a whole lot of funds.  You will then recognize me as an ExPat. [I can’t fathom anything I have done that would escalate to this point but I am never in the mood to go through with any of this.]

3. You’re given $1500, but it must be used toward your hobby. What do you buy, and how does it help you progress?

Wow, that’s a lot of porn.  But seriously – I think it would go to the purchase of a very nice top o’ the line Nikon Digital SLR.

4. What’s your “once a year” thing that you can’t miss?

Watching “Die Hard” on Christmas eve.  (Or going to the Brewery Bar II for some green chili smothered relenos on MLK day. )

5. You are given unlimited money to produce a TV series adaptation of any movie/movie saga/video game/book. Which one would you choose and what would be your production decisions?

John Scalzi’s “Old Man’s War.”

3 Replies to “The Friday Fives”

  1. 1. Something like Moe’s on the Simpsons–except not animated.

    2. I keep on walking. If the cat got himself in hot water with the law, again, then it’s his responsibility to sort it out.

    3. Booze, booze, booze.

    4. I keep many traditions. One of my favorites is going out for Vietnamese food on New Years Day.

    5. The Great Gatsby in anime style.

  2. 1) The Oasis bar in Gunny. That place is the quintessential cliche bar.

    2) I walk up and ask one of the gawkers what’s going on? I ain’t scared.

    3) A bunch of video games are gonna get played!

    4) I really don’t have any concrete rituals like that. I do try and watch A Christmas Story once a year around the holidays.

    5) There’s and older video game out there that I think would make for an amazing animated series. Abe’s Oddworld. The characters are excellent and there’s really limited dialogue so I think it could be made for relatively low cost.

  3. When someone tells you a ‘man walks into a bar’ joke, you picture the same bar each time- what does your bar look like?

    It’s dark. As you walk in the front door, the bar is basically the length of the room, to your right. To the left are the tables… maybe about 10. Once you step in, the jukebox is right behind you. Straight ahead at the end of the room there are bathrooms on the right. On the left is what the call the kitchen, but I am being generous. I also prefer these jokes to have a rabbi, a reverend, and a Buddhist.

    You walk to your street and see FBI, CDC, ARNG, CIA, APHIS, DEA, USFWS, NTSB, EPA, PETA, NOAA, FAA, ATF, FDA, MORS and NSA raiding your house. What do you do and what are your thoughts?

    Shit… again? Keep driving, slowly. Like, I am a curious neighbor but nothing more. Being a liberal on a dirt road, and the only liberal for 30 miles in every direction… who knows? They might be checking my guns, make sure I have tons of them. I only have 1, so that is suspect.

    You’re given $1500, but it must be used toward your hobby. What do you buy, and how does it help you progress?

    Easy, as I have been thinking about this a lot recently. Am going to skip over my first hobby, which is guitars. I already have far too many (about 12 different kinds). So we will go to truck. I need about $600 to buy new wheels. Something menacing looking for sure. I need $350 to get steps for the truck. The truck is tall and I am short. BUT… unlike most of you mouthbreathers, I am getting ‘wheel to wheel’ steps. This means they don’t only cover the passenger compartments… but go all the way back so you can use them to get into the truck bed. Lastly, I need about $300 for a lock box. Check this out, not just black diamond plate, but this thing has tie downs on top. Fuck yeah, baby!

    What’s your “once a year” thing that you can’t miss?

    sex

    You are given unlimited money to produce a TV series adaptation of any movie/movie saga/video game/book. Which one would you choose and what would be your production decisions?

    Jack Kerouac’s ‘Desolation Angels’. Starring? Um… Giovanni Ribisi and Ryan Reynolds. Directed by I don’t care, but we’ll have Terry Gilliam there doing something for sure. Brendan O’Brien will be handling all musical everything. From scoring to foley work to song choices.

    Its not your average Keroauc book, which is why you have never heard of it. It is fantastic, though. Keroac and Neil Cassady spend a summer on top of a mountain as a forest fire lookout. They aren’t together, each post is a solitary one. But, they are a couple mountain peaks apart, and pass their time over walkie talkies. Oh, and ALL female roles will be played by either Kate McKinnon or Margo Martindale. My two favorite character actresses. Of course, this being Hollywood, there will be no key female roles. I am just sayin if there were to be… those would be my gals.

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