Friday Fives

1. What’s a huge waste of money that people are still paying for in 2019?

Probably paying for a full cable package.  But it is so convenient. I am certain though that paying ala carte for each package/service channel you want is probably about the same or more.  Someone run the numbers on this, would ya?

2. What’s something only assholes buy?

Really, really huge pickups for daily, commuter urban driving.   Jeez.  If you don’t live out in the sticks, if you are not out on the back 40 poking dogies, if you aren’t hauling big trailers or transporting big pieces of equipment then you don’t need that F350 club cab with dually wheels.

3. What’s something someone could do or say in the US that scream “I’m from Europe”?

You prefer hot tea to coffee.  What is wrong with you? Wait, better yet – you don’t like iced tea and think it is kinda gross.  Europeans, I have discovered, don’t understand the sheer refreshment of iced tea.

4. Who was the dumbest person you ever met? How did you know?

Well, this will be difficult to pin down.  I graduated fro Fetal Alcohol High School there were a number of challenged folks there.  Probably one of the Voloshins.

5. What’s a dumb rule or law in your city or at your work?

Maybe not a dumb law but poor use of technology – stoplight traffic control cameras.  Heads up folk, Greenwood Village, Colo uses them to significantly contribute to their village coffers through aggressive fines. My bitter rants is now over.

3 Replies to “Friday Fives”

  1. I’m afraid we are in violent agreement on a number of these.

    1. Definitely cable. Much of the expense of cable television is for overpriced and little watched sports broadcasting, and to help keep WAY TOO FUCKING MANY christian broadcasting networks alive.

    2. There are so many things to put on such a list, including David Yurman jewelry, True Religion jeans, and Robert Graham shirts. However, to echo Roy, giant pickup trucks have become one of the banes of my urban existence. You should only have such a vehicle if you are in a skilled trade or agriculture. Regardless of need, KEEP YOUR FUCKING DUALIE OUT OF CAPITAL HILL. The streets are simply too narrow, and truck owners typically drive like assholes.

    3. Ordering drinks without ice. Completely filling a glass with ice before pouring in a beverage is strange American thing and Europeans find it odd.

    4. Fetal Alcohol High School? That’s hysterical. I went there as well. I think the most challenged person I knew there was a girl named Dawn who undoubtedly was a fetal alcohol victim. I recall that whenever she was handed a test paper, she would spend the entire duration of the test period tracing over the questions with her pencil. She couldn’t grasp the idea that the questions were supposed to be answered.

    5. Denver has a lot of odd laws on the books, but I have two favorites. Nude sunbathing in public places is (was?) legal provided people don’t touch their privates. The second law, makes it illegal to have a horse above the ground floor of any building. Apparently some bordello pranksters ruined it for everyone. (Try to get a horse DOWN a flight of stairs and you’ll understand the necessity of such an ordinance.)

  2. 1) Bank fees. Come on folks, easy to get out of those or go to a bank that has free checking. Silly fees because people too fucking lazy to change. In essence, contributing to the bloat of corporate America.

    2) Although I do agree on the huge trucks, I would add that the accessory of the hanging balls off the trailer hitch makes these folks oozing syphilis-dripping dick-sore assholes.

    3) “You work more than 40 hours a week?”

    4) Still plenty of life left to find the dumbest I have met. In the end it might be me. There are way too many people that I have met that are book smart and life dumb.

    5) The whole claiming or paying local sales online sales tax. The fact that they have this stupid local tax law on the books makes it just another tax law they cannot enforce or prove or anything.

  3. 1) Politicians. They accomplish almost nothing and work like 1/4 of the year and get payed way too much.

    2) Ed Hardy T-shirts? I just wanted to be different than Roy and Tony.

    3) You left them extra money? Why? What is this Tip you are required to leave?

    4) Due to HIPPA and work agreements I am not at liberty to answer this question.

    5) I am starting school in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. It is hot and humid here. The graduate program has a rule that if you are on campus during weekly business hours you have to be in either scrubs or business professional dress. Come on its hot AF I wanna wear shorts!

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