Friday Fives

Nuclear power plant with golden flowering field of rapeseed

1. What mildly annoying curse do you wish you could curse people with?
Those that don’t use their blinkers in traffic lose their right foot and the ability to push down the gas pedal.

2. It’s almost 2020, what futurist thing did you seriously think we’d have by now?
Clean, cheap nuclear power. Growing up in the 1970s, the idea of clean nuclear energy was part of the promise. Why can’t we solve the scourge of nuclear waste in order to make this feasible? I read an article a number of years ago that nuclear waste was posited to be a solution for fuel for battery cells in electronic devices such as electric cars, with a battery that could hold a charge for months. But “Big Battery” and “Big Oil,” I think shut the whole thing down. (Plus this scheme didn’t seem to be safe in the case of a battery-related accident – tons of nuclear waste leaks on the highway. Alas . . . )

3. It is the year 1800. What would have killed you by now (that actually happened in your life)?
Definitely my heart attack. No way could they have solved it with an angioplasty and stent as they can easily do these days.

4. What was the name of the smelly kid in class?
Dwayne M. Jeebus did he smell and sometimes my mother would pick him up and give him a ride home from school as they lived down the block and sitting in the back seat with him was a odorific challenge.

5. What’s the worst snack food you’ve ever seen in a store?
Most of the recreations from any of the state fair food booths – frozen fried Snicker bars and things of that ilk.

3 Replies to “Friday Fives”

  1. 1) Not sure Roy’s curse is mildly annoying at all. Losing a foot curse? That’s a pretty damn serious curse. My mildly annoying cure would be on dog owners that let their dog off leash, Once off leash the dog would poop and the owner would always step in it. Fresh dog shit on shoes…squishy and smelly.

    2) Better treatment or a cure for at least one or two kinds of cancer.

    3) Falling off something moving fast or really tall. Lots of straps and stuff have saved my ass too many times.

    4) Chris Brown. It was unfortunate too, as his family was poor and so the kids were pretty unkept. Never had a bad word to say about him, but he did smell and had some serious dandruff.

    5) Those mother f’n stupid Oreo flavors of the season…pumpkin spice can go to hell. or maybe that would be a good annoying curse for something in #1, everything someone ate tasted like pumpkin spice. Even if you are a fan, it’s like candy corn, love it for a New York minute and then it’s too much.

  2. 1. People who indecisively order tacos at Chipotle should be sentenced to the back of the line if they don’t have their act together. “One with lettuce and cheese only, and one with mild salsa and sour cream.” Geezus.

    2. I thought that the combustion engine car would have been long gone. Imagine how recent history would be different if we had no strategic role in the Middle East.

    3. Getting caught in a thresher. You don’t believe I was once caught in a thresher accident? Ask me about it sometime!

    4. Duane M was a smelly person. Came from a smelly family. Must be some vestige of fetal alcohol syndrome.

    5. Cappuccino flavored potato chips. Terrible idea.

  3. 1) People that make the real whatever the fuck from wherever the fuck reality shows should be cursed with the continuous feeling of having fresh hair clippings down the back of their shirt. Never able to make it go away.

    2) I would have thought by now that we would have solved the rising cost of electricity. I mean it’s the same as it’s always been but the cost goes up? WTF is that about!

    3) My appendicitis more than likely would have resulted in my becoming worm food.

    4) Eran C. He stank of old sweat and bad cheese.

    5) So it’s a south thing, but bags of boiled peanuts. Gross!

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