Friday Fives

1. What was that cool thing/brand that everyone wanted when you were growing up, but now you’d get laughed at for having?
Canned tamales. Everyone, simply everyone was eating them as a child but no, alas, I am the only one.

2. What website do you no longer go to, but was once a favorite?
Talking Points Memo. I read it a lot during the early days of the Bush administration but I have wandered off and now simply play in traffic.

3. What food did you love as a child but hate it now?
Farm fresh cream (the consistency of really thick yogurt) ladled over Cap’n Crunch cereal. I don’t think that sweet rich concoction could ever be eaten today without putting me in a cardiac/diabetic stroke.

4. What’s a scam that people throw money at without knowing it’s stupid?
Where to start – megachurches, psychics, MAGA.

5. Pigs have sprouted wings and can now fly. How does this affect life as we know it?
A flying pig would change the food-esphere as we know it – Pigs would be revered and bacon and ribs, pork roast would be mere whims of the past, spoken about it in whispers.

3 Replies to “Friday Fives”

  1. 1) Elephant bell bottom jeans. The wider the better. And, boy oh boy, did those suckers freeze when they got wet on the playground. Can’t even buy them today, or I might.

    2) Napster. I still have a number of songs that came from that totally illegal share site.

    3) Orange juice with Hersey syrup in it. It was gross then, it is gross now. Or maybe I am just gross.

    4) Donating to any political campaign, ever!

    5) Fresh delivery of pork products. Just need to learn how to butcher them upon arrival. OR maybe replacements for the aging baby-delivering stork fleet.

  2. 1. Jordache jeans. So sexy, so expensive, now available at Wal-Mart.

    2. In the early days, that was my home page, news service, and email. All on one page. The 90’s were really awesome.

    3. Hot dogs with ketchup. Yes–I used to do that as a kid.

    4. Let’s just lump all Christians together and acknowledged the success of their three millennium long Ponzi scheme. “You give us 10% of your pay, and when you die, you won’t really die.”

    5. Feral pigs are a nuisance, so they’ll need to be hunted. But please, please, don’t shoot them out of the sky. We don’t need 175 pound carcasses crashing to earth, causing safety concerns, and wasting all of that delicious meat.

  3. 1) Girbeau baggy jeans. You remember, the ones with the little white tag on the crotch.

    2) E.H.O.W.A. ernies house of whoop ass. It used to be all sorts of fun and funny pictures. But it has been taken over by adds and nonesense.

    3) None that I can think of. I still like all of the horrible foods I ate as a kid I would still eat.

    4) Religions are huge. Also those fuckers coming around and selling magazines! Has anyone ever actually gotten the mags?

    5) Bacon wings. Mic drop.

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