1. What is your favorite kitchen appliance? If if broke, could you replace it?
For me, it is either the coffee roaster, an absolute extravagance that has changed my life. Coming a close second is the microwave. What a technological thing of beauty that thing is.
2. Did your grandmother have a nickname for you? What was it? How did you earn it.
Nope. No nicknames. We weren’t a real nicknamey family.
3. What was the last big thing you broke? How did you end up fixing it.
A heart? Just kidding. hmmm. Let’s see, probably my sister” Rubbermaid cake holder. It was the unfortunate victim of a tiny, tiny, pittance of a kitchen fire – a fire whose smoke damaged scars still remain – I replaced the cake holder, I haven’t repainted the smoke stained wall.
4. If you had your own spaceship, what would you name it and why? What would it be like?
“To Infinity – And Beyond!” In David Foster Wallace’s essay “Getting Away from Already Pretty Much Away From It All,” DFW nicknames the 7 day, 7 night cruise ship he is staying on the “SS Nadir.” That has always rung whitty with me. My starship may have the same name, because if we find ourselves in space, with me at the helm of a starship, we are all doomed.
5. March is nearly here! (Thank you, Jesus.) We survived February. (Thank you, Cutty Sark.) Do you have any Spring seasonal change traditions that you observe?
A big, drunken Easter blow out has been a solid 15 year tradition. In my home town of Craig, the segue into Spring is celebrated by the Kiwanis club in their annual show featuring tons and tons of booze, pillars of the community in drag doing modern day burlesque and some bad, bad lip synching. It would kill me to find such an adventure here in Denver.
1. I’m a major kitchen gadget freak, and have a number of favorites (that I rarely use)—all of which are replaceable. My Kitchenaid mixer is a real joy to use as it will take on jobs that I loathe (e.g., kneading bread dough). I’m also a big fan of a crock pot—it has the patience to cook things for hours, where I do not.
2. My grandmother, alas, was not a very creative person. However, on this topic (and Eddie Fun Fact® #72) I did have a family nickname as a kid—“Hadji” after the character on Johnny Quest (meaning either ‘wise one’ in Hindi, or ‘one who has returned from Mecca’ in Arabic—both of which fit me to a tee). I have no idea how I acquired the name, but my dad will occassionally slip and call me “Hadj”.
3. The last thing I broke? My toe. On New Years Day, stumbling around a bit getting ready to go out, I walked barefooted into the corner of my sofa. I taped it to one of its neighbors, and didnÂ’t miss a beat.
4. IÂ’m not good at naming vehicles. Where most people name their cars, I never have done so. IÂ’d definitely want it to have a classy name that reflected well on me—like one of them dogs in the Westminster show (Saxony’s Snow In August). In terms of functionality, it would be fast, have a sleek minimalist interior (think Palm Springs circa 1955), and a robot bartender.
5. My biggest change-of-seasons tradition is a wicked case of Seasonal Affective Disorder. The past couple of years, I’ve suffered from a rather pronounced mania in the spring and summer. On the down side, it can be miserable and incapacitating—but on the upside, my home is sparkling clean for months!
I have to mention that the picture Roy has included of me being escorted out of my trailer must not be taken out of context. It really wasn’t my fault…I promise!
1) I think my favorite appliance is the microwave as I don’t really know how to cook yet. With this one divine apparatus, I’m able to destroy all manner of meals much quicker than with a conventional oven.
2) I don’t think my grandmother had a nickaname for me. She did think my nose ring was cute, much to my mother’s chagrin.
3) I recently broke the bannister at our new home. Thom is currently trying to repair it as I’m not all that handy either.
4) My spaceship would be called “Solitude” since it would be escorting me far, far away from the maddening crowds.
5) I suppose I had better suppress my distaste for painting this spring. I feel I should be somehow useful in our new home since Thom’s done all the work.
1. my handy veggie steamer from Oster gets the most use, followed by the blender. i *love* gadgets, but we’re sadly out’o’room.
2. an occasional & affectionate “pumpkin”, but that’s about it.
3. the paper shredder at work. my boss *still* gives me grief about it. (i failed to heed the ‘paper max limit’ on the device).
4. my spaceship would look like something out of ‘war of the worlds’ and be called the SS-Get-Me-The-Hell-Off-This-Planet or GMTHOTP for short.
5. shopping for new clothes (if i can afford it) and some ‘spring’ cleaning.
1.) The dishwasher. I LOATHE washing dishes. I mean, who needs dish-pan hands? I certainly don’t.
2.) I think she called me Marky. No wonder I’m gay………..
3.) OK, I have to come clean. Remember that brand new $3500 HDTV I bought 2 years ago and had to have replaced because it was defective? Well…………..I think it was “defective” because I plugged it into the back of my amp, thinking I could save myself the hassle of running yet another power cord to an already crowded power strip. What I didn’t think of was the power draw of the TV, which was considerably more than the amp could put out. And had I read the ENTIRE manual prior to hooking it up, I would’ve seen the warning against doing the precise thing I was about to do. Long story short, the TV kinda got shorted out and the remote or TV controls wouldn’t work. Not a high point for me as I consider myself a rather techno-saavy guy.
4.) If I had my own spaceship, I could care less what
4.) If I had my owm spaceship, I could care less what it was called. The coolness factor would overwhelm me. As to the type of ship….think of one of those space-faring luxury-liners seen in The Fifth Element ( sans screeching drag queen ).
5.) None. Except spring cleaning.
1. My French press coffee maker. Of course it’s replaceable, but I’d hate to be without it for even a day.
2. Let’s see.. “Sagie” was as creative as my grandmother(s) got. However the rest of the family used names like “Scoot”, “Squirt”, “Sport”, “Thunderbritches”, and “Pooter”.
3. Last big thing I broke was likely my gall bladder. Who knew you couldn’t fill one with candy and use it as a pinata? *I* did not know this.
4. My spaceship would look like a marriage of the Jetson’s summer home and Martin Denny’s winter home. 50’s atomic meets Polynesian Tiki. I shall name her “Exotica Thruster II”.
5. VLV in Vegas used to be the Easter tradition.. nowadays, I’d say a good old fashioned BBQ and beer keg will suffice.