Friday Fives


1. What are some good helpful phrases like “righty tighty, lefty loosey” or “spring forward, fall back”?

Lefty Yanks/Righty Brits (a never used driving axiom)

Days that end in “Y’s” are days when Trump lies.

2. With spring cleaning just around the corner, what are you reluctant to start cleaning in your home?

My hard drive. It is just filthy.  (Also I really ought to tackle my closet.)

3. We have both the Summer and Winter Olympics. What sports would they play in the Spring and Fall Olympics?

Three-legged race in the spring.

Dive into the leaf pile for the fall (this is judged on an artistic scale along with a degree of difficulty.)

4. What makes you spring out of bed in the morning?

I wouldn’t say “spring” but it usually involves a need to go to the bathroom.

5. How would you explain Spring break to a visitor from another land?

Like the name of the drink designed to memorialize the rite: Sex on the Beach.

2 Replies to “Friday Fives”

  1. 1) “Never gonna give you up.” and “Never gonna let you down”, I live my life by the teachings of Rick Astley.

    2) The inside of my windshield. It is my nemesis.

    3) In spring there would be a power pogo event to celebrate the time change, in fall there would, of course, be a stylized free fall from extreme heights while facing upward.

    4) The occasional feeling of being late.

    5) Nude beaches meets Carnivale meets dumb white kids.

  2. 1) If she pees standing up she’s probably a dude. This is not a common phrase but can be very useful if you remember it.

    2) The yard. I fucking hate yard work!

    3) Spring- mudslides for both distance and form.
    Fall- leaf blowing for time.

    4) The sound of a yaking pet.

    5) Stupidity amplified by alcohol and sunburn.

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