Friday

1. Do you drink wine? Do you have a favorite wine?
I dabble in wine. I generally enjoy Chianti/Sangiovese and there is a particular Cabernet Sauvignon that I enjoy. But wine is not my drink of choice. That is raspberry Koolaid.

2. How was your tax season? Are you revolting?
Uneventful. Print out tax extension form. Put in envelope. Mail. Simple.

3. What type of internet connection do I need? (from Pandora Radio FAQ)
I want one with a personality. I am not keen on simple utilitarian tools. Cool fact, soon, very soon, there will so many choices on internet connectivity and different tools you can use – Intel is working on an interface for refrigerators so that it can keep an running grocery list and a prescribed time, send the list to the store. Digital cameras will soon have 4G technology so that photos taken can automatically be uploaded to a drive regardless where you are. A new phone is now being made, using new internet technology, that allows you to use the phone as a debit card. Waive the phone at a register station while shopping, you account is accessed and money moved to pay for the product. But with all this tech, there is little personality. I want talking computers with attitude, like on the Jetsons. And flying cars.

4. When you come upon a marauding band of Orcs, how do go about ensuring a victory.
This question reminds me that each spring I try to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It is a rainy long weekend for me, so I think I will fire that up.

5. When giving advice to Karl Kipper, what is the first thing you address?
I would start with the teeth. Whitening of the teeth, certainly is a good thing, but Christ all Mighty, Karl, them teeth glow under the summer sun. Take a step back and look human, will ya?

Friday Fives

1. How do you fell about re-gifting? (found via a forum on Amazon.com)
I’ve done it. Sure. But the best of the re-gifters was my grandmother Vi. She was known for sending you the Christmas card you sent her years ago. And she didn’t resign it – just put it in an envelope and sent it along. She also would give my parents wonderful chotzkes or kitchen items that they gave her years before. What a woman. I still miss her quirkiness.

2. Regardless of the genre, name a work that should be a cult classic but isn’t
There is a wonderfully terrible film that I have forced visitors to my home to watch – “Wasabe” starring Jean Reno. It is so bad that it is nearly perfect. A French cop goes to Japan to solve a crime. If you rent it put on the english subtitles and the english dub – the dialog on the two feeds doesn’t match. It is as if you are watching a different film altogether.

3. I never did the catechism. What is so good about Friday?
Weekends, certainly begin with Friday. But I have no real joke. Let me poke around a bit.
a poem from Poetry Friday:
(SMOOT PLANS TARIFF BAN ON IMPROPER BOOKS – News Item)

Senator Smoot (Republican, Ut.)

Is planning a ban on smut.

Oh rooti-ti-toot for Smoot of Ut.

And his reverend occiput.

Smite, Smoot, smite for Ut.,

Grit your molars and do your dut.,

Gird up your l__ns,

Smite h_p and th_gh,

We’ll all be Kansas

By and by.

Smite, Smoot, for the Watch and Ward,

For Hiram Johnson and Henry Ford,

For Bishop Cannon and John D., Junior,

For ex-Gov. Pinchot of Pennsylvunia,

For John S. Sumner and Elder Hays

And possibly Edward L. Bernays,

For Orville Poland and Ella Boole,

For Mother Machree and the Shelton pool.

When smut’s to be smitten

Smoot will smite

For G-d, for country,

And Fahrenheit.

Senator Smoot is an institute

Not to be bribed with pelf;

He guards our homes from erotic tomes

By reading them all himself.

Smite, Smoot, smite for Ut.,

They’re smuggling smut from Balt. to Butte!

Strongest and sternest

Of your s_x

Scatter the scoundrels

From Can. to Mex!

Smite, Smoot, for Smedley Butler,

For any good man by the name of Cutler,

Smite for the W.C.T.U,

For Rockne’s team and for Leader’s crew,

For Florence Coolidge and Admiral Byrd,

For Billy Sunday and John D., Third,

For Grantland Rice and for Albie Booth,

For the Woman’s Auxiliary of Duluth,

Smite, Smoot,

Be rugged and rough,

Smut if smitten

Is front-page stuff.

— Ogden Nash (Invocation) – Ogden Nash

4. Ever see the Simpson’s episode in the store where Marge finds all the discount tapes of real and make believe amalgams of groups like Air Supply, Loggins & Oates, Seals & Crofts, Pablo Cruise etc. ?
When Lisa asks what kind of music they all play, Marge can’t recall the genre. Homer offers “Crap rock?”, but that’s not it. Then Bart says, “Wuss rock?”, and that’s it.
So, with all that said, what is the worst Wuss Rock band of all-time? (found via a forum on Amazon.com)

Some great Wuss Rock is Eddie Money and any of his work. Second place – perhaps Phil Collins.

5. So, when Carl Kipper gets out of jail, will you let him date your sibling?
Thank God there are now restraining orders keeping him out of Arapaho County. We are all safe in this part of the Burg. During his jail time, Karl underwent a lot therapy and I think by the time he gets out he will have replaced his dating urge with developing tasty prune hybrids.

Friday Fives

1. Do you believe in good and/or bad luck?
I have a bit of a superstitious streak in me. I believe in Karma and the balance of ying and yang – and in a western context, that is good and bad luck.

2. Do you believe there is one man/woman luckier than all the rest?
Karl Kipper. Karl Kipper is the luckiest Mofo around.

3. When was the last time you considered yourself lucky?
My lane merge on my commute this morning as I negotiated the always perilous Dry Creek death merge to line up for the County Line exit. Each day I successfully negotiate this is a lucky day. (I have nearly been re ended at that exit countless times. )

4. What is the most unlucky thing to ever happen to you?
Well, not counting my ill fated lottery wins, I have no real unlucky moments that quickly come to mind. I am generally pretty lucky in life.

5. Where do you think luck (good or bad) comes from?
As I said above, karma and the balance and working towards the good through most of your actions, thoughts and deeds will deal you a better lucky hand in life.

Friday Fives

1. When was your first snow storm?
The first/best I remember was blizzard in the 1970s – I was probably 5. Tons of snow up the side of the house, a huge wall of snow on either side of the drive. The car port on the side of the house was buckling with snow. Easily three or more feet fell in one day.

2. When was your favorite snow storm?
Blizzard of 97 – driving in the big rig – get cozy at the holguins.

3. Comfort foods? Desert or savory?
Desert is always my first reach for. A nice warm pie and cocoa.

4. Ever had a car accident in winter weather?
I put our family car off the road – a 1980 Chevette. The snow was so powdery and the car so light I just pushed it back on the road. One year, going down US 50 from Gunnison to Montrose once I hit an ice patch and began spinning down the road like a top. I finally hit a snow bank and slowed to stop. Now, nearly 20 years later, my heart is still racing over that one.

5. Would you let Carl Kipper be your designated driver?
Carl is a terrible driver. Drunk with only one lazy blurred eye open, I could get us home safer that God Damn Carl.

Friday Fives

1. What is the first song you remember hearing?
True story. My grandfather’s radio – at his home in Hayden, CO on a Sunday afternoon. It was playing the Billy Graham Radio Show and the song was his theme song – and inmemory, I swear it was :”How Great Though Art” but I was very young – we are talking three or four and the radio was old and that is what fascinated me and why I remember it.
Another very old song, memory was the theme song to Hawaii 5-O. I was always in bed early as a four and five year old, but this show would come on the television and I would run from my room to watch the opening credits and listen to the theme song. Then back off to work.

2. What is the first movie you remember seeing?
I remember watching Disney’s “Herbie – the Love Bug” during its original theater run. I was four at the time and recall taking in the entire movie theater experience.

3. What is the first book you remember reading?
“Cowboy Sam the Airplane.” A series of modern westerns for young readers. Cowboy Sam had an Indian companion and they traveled the American west of the 1940s and 1950s helping people and teaching us about the environment and human relations.

4. When did you first realize the world around you?
It was probably a family trip to Denver when I was about four or five. The entire driving to another place and seeing the city and realizing that there was life outside of Craig was a life changing event. But then again, when you are four or five, lots of things are life changing events – like discovering gravity

5. How should Carl Kipper celebrate his AIG rewards?
Carl is just learning to be a philanthropist. Giving lots of small amounts will be better for his sole, rather than one huge gift. I suggest he give a couple of hundred thousand to me as a start.

Friday Fives

1. Do you keep a journal?
Yes. I have kept a journal off and on for about 20 years. Most of it is just garbage – spill. But I recently looked back on some of them and there is gold in them there books. Perhaps I will share some day (I am at work now and no access to my older journals.)

2. Do you doodle. What is it you doodle?

Yes, I doodle in meetings. I usually draw squares and 3d cubes – for some reason. Perhaps there is a psychotherapist out there who can tell me why.

3. Deep base or rolling melody?
Oh, sure a little rollng melody can get stuck in your head carry you through the day. But a good base line carries the song.

4. When you quibble, and trust me you do, what do quibble about the most?

I quibble about those who complain – that is some dychotomy, isn’t it.

5. How much does Carl Kipper actually owe you?

In terms of financial gain, upwards of millions. In terms of emotional lose, he stole my heart. He had a way of trading bad stocks that made all other brokers swoon. (Unlike last week, I have since looked up Carl Kipper – he works for Merril Lynch and is being sued by a ton of people.)

Friday Fives

Very Random Lot

(Be creative because this week, the questions are all over the place.)

1. Please list your last five employers (taken from an online job application.):
Sprint
Ryder TRS
Williams Company
(Bonus: Various Temp jobs )
Colorado Statesman
Craig Daily Press

2. Do you prefer a window or aisle seat. (taken from an online travel agency questionnaire)?
Generally, I will choose the window seat.

3. How many people are on the wait list? (taken form the University of Iowa Admissions FAQ)?
We have over 300 people on the wait list, but don’t let that discourage you. Each year, we provided the opportunity for thousands of people to enjoy the life changing experience that majikwah.com provides. Come on over and bring a friend. Let us tell you about our exciting business opportunity.

4. How do you cope with the logistics of having multiple babies and is the pressure always so relentless? (Found on a blog of friday questions but reminds my of Octa-mom.)
When ever I find myself dealing with the ins and outs of my multiples, I am struck by the great words of my friend Jeffrey – “the Dude abides” – kind of a zen like mantra for child rearing.

5. Please list in detail all the times you worked with Carl J. Kipper in any capacity, when, where and why. (Found in s a deposition filed by the City Council fo Hartford, CT)
I consider Carl a friend. He spells his name with a “C” and not a a “K”, which is a bonuse. I met him in a Nevada cat house back in 68. He just came back from ‘Nam needed a job. I hired him to polish the limo and to serve in an unofficial security role to protect me from arch nemesis Kevin Lang who I am certain to this day is trying to kill me.

Friday Fives

1. What does your body tell you when you get out of bed in the morning?
Pee, sweet Jesus, I have to pee. Body also usually tells me I have been in bed to long and to get upright ASAP.
2. How well do you treat your body? Do you feed and exercise it well? Go for regular check-ups? I walk a bit, not enough. I recently lost about 75 lbs. We have a professional body builder at work and she is offering her services to our manager group to serve as our personal trainer/diet counselor. Talk to me in 12 weeks – I should be svelt.
3. What part of your body feels strongest?
Calves. I have strong calves, from my years in the army running in combat boots.
4. Which is the weakest?
Wrists. I have wimpy ass wrists.
5. If you had to live without the use of one body part for the rest of your life, which would it be? Why?
Right hand. i really only use it for mousing ont he computer, typing and for carrying groceries. All of those can be replaced with my left hand working a bit harder.

Friday Fives

This wee’s Five’s via Lono:

Late night talk

In lieu of Conan’s last show being tonight, and Fallon taking over in a couple of weeks. You know, of course, that in April Conan moves to Leno’s spot. Leno is moving to 9 pm.

1. Are you a Letterman of a Leno fan?
Letterman. He is the master of the form. A bit bored, a bit interested, always “on” and still as weird as he was in his early days of day time television thirty some years ago. Leno blows.

2. Favorite Late Night memory (Letterman, Leno… whoever)

This was back on the old late nite show on NBC. When Letterman did his entire show from a crappy hotel room in times square. The bathroom was the green room. Paul and his organ squeezed into the corner. One of the guests was Hunter Thompson and the interview was completely incomprehensible.

3. Craig Ferguson or Conan?
I DVR Ferguson and watch nearly every show. I enjoy Conan but Ferguson is charming, less scripted and overall more interesting.

4. Do you remember Carson? Arsenio? Joan Rivers? Chevy Chase? Who was the best?
Johnny Carson was great. Rent a few best of Carson’s DVDs some day. He was sharp and on the dime. For all intents and purposes, he invented the current form of the late night talk show.

5. Let’s just stop everything and talk about the whole Joaquin Phoenix incident on Letterman. Drugs? Hoax? A ‘bit’?
I watched it on You Tube. I am not as obsessed about it as Kevin was. Although it was like going back in time and watching Letterman interview Andy Kaufman. An uncomforatable 10 minutes of television.

Friday Fives

1. What activity can you not believe you survived in your childhood?
Playing on the sandrocks that overlook the town. There were plenty of times as a child I could have fallen pretty far down the cliffs and ended it all.

2. What activity can you not believe kids get away with today?
Meth. Crazy kids of meth and there are always driving around and getting on my lawn. Get off my lawn you crazy meth kids.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world live or dead, who would you choose to be?
We all want to be Ed, at least for a day.

4. A lot of people think they’ve been in love at 15 or 16 years old, do you think you now look back and think you were a stupid kid or do you believe that you were old enough to know what love is?
Foreigner said it best back in high school when they belted out the time true lyric: “I wanna know what love is!”

5. Do you think it is possible to remain in love with someone you once loved, but haven’t seen in a year?
It has been a year since I have seen Tony Mo and I still love him. Hell he lives across town. This is all my fault. I am gong to scour the coach for tax fare and look him up.