The Friday Fives

1. What unimpressive thing are people stupidly proud of?
The size of their hands. Generally, it means nothing unless you are a professional typist.

2. What’s the best trick a passenger can do to get upgraded?
I travelled from Denver back to Germany in the Army once and I wore my dress uniform and got bumped to first class on a Lufthansa flight. That, friends, was some great flying. Hours and hours of first class bliss in the front row with all the leg room in the world. Next big flight, try that.

3. Americans who have visited Europe, what was your “WTF” moment?
Bidets and the very weird toilets in Germany – we usually referred to them as shit shelves – they are very low water and don’t have a pool of water waiting but instead intense water pressure that squirts the shit, literally, down the drain.

4. Americans, what is your WTF moment when traveling this great country?
Big, weird tourist attractions from the 1940s and 1950s that still exist – most are commemorated at DIA in the “America, Why We Love Her” installation. (I am certain I got that name wrong, but I am close.

5. Have you dropped everything and moved with nothing? How did that turn out? What advice do you have for someone wishing to do the same?
I moved to Denver from Craig with very little savings and no job. After some stumbles along the way, it was worth it.

2 thoughts on “The Friday Fives

  1. 1. Their stupid goddamned kids.

    2. Due to overbooking, this rarely happens unless you are a VERY frequent flier. With that said, the only real hope is to be a solo traveler, and to be obsequiously polite to every single airline employee you encounter during check in, boarding, and on board. Upgrades are based on a formula as well as the subjective judgement of the crew.

    3. How do these people eat like this, and generally stay so thin? It baffles me. I’ve packed on weight every time I’ve been there.

    4. It’s either the vitriolic signs all over the place in the name of religion, OR “How did these people get so fat? How on earth are they not dead yet?”

    5. No. I’m a planner.

  2. 1) Their ability to consume. It really is not a sign of prowess so much as an example of excess.

    2) Don’t fly and gave a miserable time every time I do. Sorry no tip for you.

    3) No showers and if they do it’s in the tiny ass tub with no curtain just a shower wand in the open bathroom, hello wet TP!

    4) Every day here in NW Florida has a WTF moment.

    5) I’m an over thinker so nope for me.

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